#babypp

Bikini Shower (2021)

Again, this was one of the sessions I had in the hotel room before I left HK.

Not a lot to say for this one, because it’s simply a shower. Well, one with some “clothes” on.

It’s next to impossible for me to shoot in the bathroom at home. I needed to be very sure that my family would be out of the house for a long period of time, during the day. There’s very little room to get good angles. It’s difficult to place lights and stuff in there. I think I’d only ever done it once.

So when the hotel room comes with a rather large shower room, I had to make a vid there.

Doing it solo, I had to keep things simple. I didn’t want to try going in and out of the shower to move the camera around, risking getting water everywhere and making a mess. Still, the whole recording was 17 minutes long and I somehow kept 10 minutes of footage in this final cut. Yes, I’m quite greedy.

It was winter when I did it, and to avoid too much steam, I didn’t turn up the heat too much. So it was actually kinda chilly when I’d gotten myself wet, but not keeping the water coming.

It took surprisingly long for the thigh high stockings to get soaked. Were they cotton? Or synthetic instead? Anyway, I was hoping they’d looked sexier when they got translucent, but well, I tried.

There’s not much of my figure I could hide in that outfit and that camera angle, that’s also one reason why I probably won’t do another shower vid. But I’m happy I did it, feels like a bucket list thing, ha.

And here is the full video:

Cosmic Pantyhose (2021)

One of the sessions I had in the hotel room before I left Hong Kong, one of the outfits/items in the “I’ve bought it long ago but have never shown it, better do so before I throw it away” clearance project. I’m  talking about the pantyhoses. The top was a more recent purchase.

It happened 3 years ago, my memory is understandably fuzzy, plus there really wasn’t much to say about this set anyway, so I will keep it brief.

Bought the pantyhoses cheap on TaoBao. They were supposed to be a pretty cosmic print. You know, the usual purplish, with some white swirls and sparkle here and there kind of pattern. But being a cheap product, they of course arrived looking disappointingly not similar to the images shown on the website. Them looking bad, plus the fact that I rarely get to make use of pantyhoses (unless crotchless, I need access to, you know, things I “interact” with in videos!), are the main reasons why they were just in my storage all those years.

I think the wig was a pretty old one. I tried cleaning it a few times, but it just stayed oily looking by then. I never really learnt how to care for wigs actually. It was difficult to hang and dry them secretly after washing, so I was partially forced to not take very good care of them. And the ones I bought were all pretty cheap, so I didn’t feel too bad having to replace them from time to time.

I think this was the last session I had those heels on. They were my first pair, I was lucky to get a pair that fit well enough and was durable enough to last all those years so I didn’t really need another. Now that I don’t have any girl shoes, I miss them very much.

I had fun posing for these pics, making use of the limited space of the hotel room. It may sound weird to you, but we are talking about a relatively cheap one in HK, so it’s not spacious at all. I couldn’t move anything around so I had to just improvise with the lighting and the space I got. In the end, I’m pretty satisfied with the result.

I did take some videos in this outfit, but as mentioned above, without easy access to parts of my body, there’s no major action in them. Still, I’ll probably put them together as a short clip later on.

Full gallery here:

Lacey Cat (2024) #5

Final entry.

I can’t deny that I’m really getting old now. My skin is becoming loose and rough. I can’t really complain though, because I have not been spending time or money on skincare or anything against aging. I’m just not sure if I can produce content that’s nice to look at even if I try.

I suppose I’m still glad that I’ve got it done. It still feels fulfilling to create something, especially when it’s at least mostly out of passion. I mean, yes I’m seeking attention, and maybe even some kind of validation, but I’m also glad that I’m not running a business. You know, like being a cam girl or selling clips on onlyfans.

I have nothing against people creating adult content for money. But I find it tiring to need to “strategize” everything you do. Like sitting there waiting for someone to tip before you would touch yourself, following trends to create videos similar to the popular ones, measuring engagement level and adjusting the amount of pics and clips you publish for free, etc. In this age where everything can be monetized, there are just too many calculations sometimes.

It’s a naive way to think I know, and that’s why I’m not getting rich XD But I’m already cynical enough in my normal life, I just need a tiny bit of me to be kept away from the rational world, to stay naive and kept some sort of passion alive, as a reminder of how true to myself and my feelings I once could be.

Sorry this journal got weird at the end. But this is written for you to read as much as for me to remember. Crossdressing is my secret, if I can’t even indulge myself in my very own secret, where else could I do so?

PS. Full gallery with this last pic uncensored (I'll tell you right away that it's not much, it's the plug, I'm just being safe here) now up on ashemaletube.

Continue to the extra part:

Simply Lace (2021)

https://www.ashemaletube.com/videos/817886/simply-lace/

Finally getting back to start publishing the many vids/pics I did last year. This is gonna be a huge catching up and I probably don’t remember all the details, but I’ll just write down whatever I still do.

Done in early Oct 2021, the beginning of my “let’s use all these clothing I’ve gathered all these years before I leave HK” project. If I remember correctly, this vid was to showcase the long wig, the mesh gloves, and maybe the dildo which I often used but not featured in a video yet. 

Looking at the setup, maybe it was for Halloween too? But I never managed to get the room dim enough for the mood while still bright enough to keep decent video quality. I think I might have thought of dimming it in post production, but in the end while I was editing, I couldn’t get the result I wanted either. I didn’t want to repeat what I did in the sissy demon vid (adding a spotlight in post), so I just tuned the colours a bit.

Regarding the side bars, they are simply there to block out bits I don’t want to capture in the vid, but I couldn’t find a camera angle to crop them out. It has always been a problem for me, small room.

There’s nothing too special about the video I’m afraid, given the only theme was just “lace”. I think I left the A/C on during shooting because I took a short clip for testing first, thinking well the noise is not too bad. And then of course it’s pretty bad once I amped up the volume in post, and led me to do some tricks to cut out the background noise, and in turn also burying some of my moans.

Sheer #4

Last batch of the set.

One last thing I want to talk about regarding this set, is the quality of the photos. I mean actual technical image quality. 

These pics were taken with the expensive webcam, which I bought in hope of solving the audio quality problem for my videos, and maybe having a different field of view from my phone, so I can keep the right part of my room in frame, while cropping out the rest.

It solved none of those. And the image quality is bad (for photos, as seen in this set), audio recording is worse than my phone, and field of view is still too wide, if not wider than my phone. In addition to those, having to connect it to my pc means not having a screen right in front of me means I can’t preview the shots as I pose. I have to peek over to the PC monitor when posing, and can’t really see if my eyes are opening just right, looking at the right spot, and can’t really check my expression as I look at the camera.

It is still marginally manageable for photos, but for videos, having to constantly peek away from the camera breaks the immersion, mainly for the viewer, but it affects me too. And because my PC doesn’t have a USB-C port, I had to get an adapter for the cam’s cable. And maybe the connection is not perfect, so I got flickers on screen sometimes.

The only good it does is that it saves files in MP4 instead of the annoying MOV format from the iPhone, which I can’t find a convert that actually works to convert to a format that my editing software likes. I have been having to play the recording on my PC and screen capture all the footage again. 

And it works much better than using my phone as a webcam if I’m running a live show. 

So, I’ve ended up using my very old iPhone for both photos and videos recording after this. I wonder what equipment other homemade video makers are using. I’ve been so tempted to get a camcorder for years, but I just don’t think they are too good at audio recording either.

Sheer #3

This set of photos contains shots from various distances. I mean, far when I was standing, closer when I was sitting on the bed, and even closer when I was on the edge of the bed. It made tuning the photos extra hard because I can’t do it in a one-size-fit-all kinda way. That’s partly why it took me so long to get it done.

One other part of the reason is that I just don’t think this set is very good. The lighting was not good enough. I got myself a ring light because the 2 tube lights I had were decent on the sides, but often too harsh if placed in the front. But now I’ve learnt that ring light is only good when the subject is pretty close to the camera, else it’s just not strong enough. That’s why the standing shots were actually 2 notches darker than the sitting ones.

The yellow sheet I used as the backdrop looked slightly greenish in the pics, the pale coloured fabrics on me made my skin look even darker, my wig looked oily, etc. Many things I’m not truly happy with. But like usual, when I was setting it up, I only had the time to look at it on my tiny phone screen, so I generally settle with “I don’t see any major problem here”. If I tried to iron out every little problem there, I’d probably be too tired  to actually take pics when it’s done, or there would simply be no time.

Sheer #2

It’s been a month since I wrote the last part. I’m remembering even less about what I want to say about this set now.

I learnt a long time ago that my figure is only appealing in some angles, and really off putting in some other. And I really need to pick the right clothes to help compensate for my lack of curve. I also needed to work on the poses, standing in ways that made my hip look wider. However, when it gets to these sitting down poses, it’s even hard to hide my belly. Let it be a lesson learnt that clothes that're too small won’t make you look slimmer, they just make your parts which are too large look too large even more. 

On the other hand, pro tips, holding my breath helped more, well until when I forgot to. 

I didn’t have the exact picture in my mind of how this outfit would look, but I thought it would at least be somewhat elegant, since the fabric is soft and thin. But it turned out making me look like an anime ninja girl… Someone suggested Shiranui Mai from Fatal Fury, but I was thinking more of Kasumi from Dead or Alive. I guess the mask also pushed the look to that direction.

Writing this for the record. 

I plucked all the hair around my lips over the course of 2 days, it was a painful experience. I think it was bearable pain most of the time, but I was also in tears much of the time. However, at some points it was very painful and I just felt like shocks from my legs and through my body when I pulled them out. That’s why I had to do it over time, while redefining pleasure as the absence of pain, and resorted to masturbating to distract my mind some of the time. I do think I’m worthy of the pat on the back I gave myself for having the determination to finish the job though.

I just wanted to see how much nicer it would look if I plucked them all so the areas would be free of shadow, which I get even if I shave against the grain. I think there’s a clear difference even when compared to a freshly shaved face. But it’s probably not visible in pics and vids, with makeup, unless in closeup shots. And as you can see (second pic), then there’s the redness problem, so I would have to put on some makeup to even out the skin tone anyway. 

I know it wouldn’t matter most of the time since I would be wearing masks. But there is the odd chance when I want to make a blowjob video (which is really rare because shadows and identity problem aside, I also don’t have a very feminine nose and face shape, nor the nicest teeth.) And I also imagine that if I’m really giving a blowjob to someone (probably never happening, but I can fantasize), I would want the skin around my lips as smooth as possible. 

In fact, I did try to make a BJ vid after that, but in the end couldn’t because I just didn’t have enough time to prepare everything. I ended up just doing a quick vid with a mask on and no makeup (first image in this post).