instructions: the 99th comic extraordinaire
Transcript below
(Various people are standing in a room, staring at a monitor which Fofo is sitting behind. This monitor begins narrating.)
3... 2... 1... Congralutions! Cogrunlatis! Congrations! Cogandyoueatons! Congregations! You're about to become a Baba character! In this instructional video you will learn:
How to do nothing and sit there all day
To read like you really mean it
When to go "brp brp brp" and make dust clouds as you walk in increments
What to when lua errors manifest
Where to order a dictionary
I think there was something about puzzle design too
Chapter 1: The main procedures every day
(There is a compressed image of Baba) As a Baba character, you must follow rules to the letter. Letter: "Oh, like me!" I guess. No matter the situation, we always follow their instructions word-for-word, and never miss a beat.
Event rule: start: baba / move Glyph rule: (Glyphs for Fofo and Orange) Node rule: Keke -> Sad
And rules don't just affect living creatures. Here at Hempuli, we believe that everything has a soul. No excuses! In fact, if you stick googly eyes on a random object, you'll probably find that it's a new character. (There is a drawing of a jellyfish becoming Vava, a water bottle becoming Tletle, an unspecified square object becoming Dydy, and an arrow becoming Iz) But that's off topic. For now, let's focus on the rules themselves. Most often, you'll be reading TEXT rules.
Text rule: NEVER BABA IS YOU
Condition sometimes, then subject, verb, object. To remember the CSVO order, keep this sentence in mind: Chemotheripoids Semiconductify Vexatiousnesses O'florocarbons. Trust me, we all remember it. Me: "I'm not trustworthy." It: "You really do?" Ha ha. Very funny. There's only 4 objects that anyone really uses that often. Here's what you need to keep in your brain. *Ideally you don't have a brain
(PUSH) If someone bumps you, move in the same direction they did (STOP) Prevent anyone from visiting your space on the board (WIN) When a unit with "you" reaches you, produce a single spore (YOU) Wing it
Now, I hear you asking… Iss: "But Monitorrrrr. There's, like, 6 different words in this game! How do I remember all of them?" That's the fun part of working here! We have an interactive training course that shows you what each word does. Iss: "That's not what I asked." Oh, yeah, right. I guess you could read the level editor's object list. That way you know what words you need. You may also be thinking... Iss: "The who whatsit now?" That's a good way to transition into
THE END!
(There is a compressed drawing of a flag.)
Yep, you heard me. It's a good way to transition into the end. Get out! Stop watching! Go!
Fofo: "That's it. Does anyone have questions at this point?" Obo: "Quite a few, actually…" Fofo: "Oh dear." (Fofo is bombarded with questions.) Fofo: "Crumble mumble..." Baba Fan: "Oh, there's an instructional video that answers all our questions! Play THAT!" Fofo: "Good plan." (Various people are standing in a room, staring at a monitor which Fofo is sitting behind. This monitor begins narrating.)
