#b|asks

Hello, I apologise for the delay on this response; recently many Real Life things have happened in quick succession, I'm sure you understand.

My answer for this has a few pieces: first being, I never considered keeping this blog to be a form of re-posting. I certainly don't think I've ever claimed these works as my own, though I'm happy to make that more obvious in the future if so needed. Along with that I rarely include a full work on this page, only a few introductory paragraphs before a redirect link (off the top of my head I do think I have just-the-fics-maam's one-shot "Welcome Home" posted on the old blog, which I'll come back to).

Second, I have in the past made efforts to contact authors prior to posting a story here. I will admit I have not done so with EVERY work and I will make that a more routine practice. But what course should I take if I never receive a response? Many of the works I include (and plan to include) here are at least five years old. Some authors are no longer active on Tumblr, and I try to notate and link accurately as possible for whoever might visit this page. Additionally, there are works hosted on AO3 (or elsewhere) that may not have a corresponding post on Tumblr to reblog, or may not be linked to a Tumblr at all.

Third, and I want to be clear that I don't mean to sound combative, but I don't have much time to spend scrolling blogs anymore and I may just be old and out of touch and unaware of Best Practices at this point? I have been happy to see the increase in authors posting full works and chapters to Tumblr, which had fallen out of fashion in years past, and I’d agree that it’s vital that recognition for an author’s work should be funnelled to the author. However, If an author no longer wishes to be associated with a past work, would it be disrespectful for readers to share it around with the author’s info redacted? If a work is posted exclusively on Tumblr, do readers have a right to copy the text into their own word processors, for their personal reading, for easier reading or in anticipation of the blog being abruptly deleted? I’ve been around long enough to see such things happen. 

Honestly, there are a few works that have been lost to deletion that I almost wish I WOULD have somehow archived in full - If anyone has a copy of "I Love To Hate You" or "Within the Walls of Westminster" by wildlubricatedrobot or the 'Bluebirds' one-shot "Reconciled" by sweetoceancloud PLEASE let me know - and for that reason I did on one occasion put the entire "Welcome Home" text on my blog, so I would continue to have access to that work.

I regret leaving my theme to languish, I think my Intro/Info post (link here), where I try to make plain my intentions, may have been made inaccessible by my inaction and for that I apologise. I started this as a makeshift repository for works I personally enjoyed reading, with the understood possibility that other people might also enjoy them or had been trying to find old favourites. I know searching for a work via tags or body text on AO3 can be incredibly difficult especially if the work is behind the consent checkpoint. 

I want to be on the right side of this, even if it means adjusting my practices, I want to act responsibly within the ethics of creative ownership of fanworks. I'm very familiar with the incidents of malicious re-posting, and I've personally removed access to works at authors' request while acting as an admin on the THF blog.  At the same time I want to sincerely engage with the idea of appropriate preservation and documentation, especially for private/non-commercial enjoyment.

First of all, welcome! I'm terrible at joining fandoms full stop so I have to commend you on jumping in at such a tumultuous time. I’ll try to make this a brief overview of the early days, ‘cause I know I could go on for hours. I can’t speak to the atmosphere on platforms other than Tumblr really, though I have a vague awareness of the goings-on and Major Historical Events on Facebook and Twitter. 

Honestly, my comparably extensive experience as a My Chemical Romance fan prepared me well for this fandom, with minor differences (obviously). From 2011-2015, I had to describe Tom by way of, “Did you see Thor/The Avengers? He plays Loki. No, he doesn’t look gaunt and greasy in real life.” Similar to band forums and chat boards, Tumblr offered a respite from that. A major portion of the contemporary user-base was a direct reflection of the surge in UK media popularity, propelled by personalities that enjoyed — let’s say — ‘off-center’ pop culture. The TWH fandom grew steadily yet in my opinion managed to retain an almost insular climate, though I remember Loki content wasn’t far removed from the inescapable Superwholock deluge which annoyed many users.

Day to day happenings were almost mundane: Tom tweeted with some regularity, shared daily song recommendations, interacted with replies, and posted seemingly anything that popped into his head. It felt almost gratuitous, particularly the second half of 2013, the earnest sincerity and encouragement of his own supporters. Tumblr seized that energy and used it as inspiration. Artists became well known for incredible graphics work, fic writers gained popularity in and outside of Tumblr, blogs popped up cataloguing photos of the man himself in varying degrees of tight trousers, the prominence of few cosplayers elicited threads of discourse which continue to this day. If I recall correctly a few fan projects actually made their way to Tom, notably a photobook involving ‘Wendy’ the false moustache. (I think there may still exist a self-recorded video documenting his receipt/reaction of it?) And I have to specifically mention the user Torilla, whose tireless work in sourcing and providing high quality photos to the masses cannot be overstated.

Such is the nature of modern fandom however, when a person attracts such a large number of supporters, the support can quickly shift from admiration to expectation to violation. I can’t recall the exact dates offhand but between ‘13-’15, personal photos were taken from Facebook and widely shared, real people were impersonated online by fans, crowds started to become physically threatening. Not to mention the increasingly invasive actions of paparazzi and fan photographers. When ‘Coriolanus’ premiered at the Donmar late 2013 it was presumed that Tom’s activity on Twitter had declined due to a busy working schedule; by the end of the play’s run, stage door signings had been suspended for safety and privacy concerns. 

Throughout 2014, between back to back to back to back projects, fan misbehaviour, and growing scrutiny on how public figures presented themselves online, it was rare to hear anything firsthand. By the time The Night Manager began filming in summer ‘15 the Tumblr fandom comprised discussions of production footage, press releases, a few interviews, and fan-generated content. In my mind that was the last period that the ‘community’ felt manageable — discourse was inevitable but fairly reasonable, even as films were unfavourably reviewed by critics.

Then came May 2016, and nothing was ever the same. Okay lmao that’s so melodramatic, but it’s not inaccurate! I’m not going into detail here but believe me, only since the West End run of ‘Betrayal’ has the fandom been revived to a sustainable degree. Optimism felt like a chore, especially when ‘Endgame’ premiered, and there was no shortage of negative assumptions about Tom’s seemingly indefinite hiatus from appearing on screen. Certainly, other users will have differing experiences and opinions on the 2016-2018 period, but I truly can’t imagine anyone was having an overly pleasant time.

As for my personal support/witnessing of MCU Loki’s character development, I probably have an unusually pessimistic-passive set of expectations, and it’ll be very interesting to return to this after I’ve watched the series! The Internet Joke goes something like, “I respect your interpretation of this character unless it’s different than mine,” which is funny! But I learned it’s almost a waste of energy to attempt interpreting nearly any MCU character because the inconsistent writing. I remember my dissatisfaction during the first watch of ‘The Dark World’ and afterward reading that Loki’s death was reversed when early test audiences reacted with confusion and disappointment, I understood then that the broad appeal of Loki was so necessary for profit that Marvel/Disney would never allow the character the room to shock and potentially repulse audiences like I wanted. 

Clearly I’m still intrigued by fan interpretations because I’m consuming and curating fanworks for zero dollars(!!) but I let go of the expectation to be satisfied by canon MCU content, though I’ll admit it hasn’t stopped me from being disappointed by MCU writing! It also hasn’t softened the disappointment of encountering poor fan behaviour, but of course I pick my battles on that front. I’ve heard curiosity and compassion can solve all problems in time so I’ll keep working on that, offering it when I can.

With that I have to thank you for your interest and your kind message, I hope you find a few people to really connect with, and feel free to return to me if you’d like. My fingers are crossed for the next few years to be more pleasant for us, and the fandom can meet one another on respectable terms, learn and grow and all that. No accounting for trolls on Twitter though lmao

Oh this is so sweet, I can’t remember the last time I had a prompt in my inbox. I’ll try to make these succinct as possible:

It’s rather obvious but music streaming makes me happy, though I wish the whole industry could be overhauled to be more beneficial to artists. I’ve spent the daylight hours of this past week rediscovering HIM’s discography, and at night I’ve been able to relax with a playlist of mellow jazz. Related to that, it’s been fun to recall memories from 2004-5 that aren’t tinged with depression and anger.

I’m unspeakably happy to see the progress my friends and family members have been making toward understanding systems of oppression and their societal position within and how they’re becoming more outspoken and participating in their local governments.

I’ve been able to dig into and revitalise the tiny plot of dirt on the side of my house which has been a fantastic physical outlet; in the next few days a friend and I will sow some pumpkin seeds. It’ll be my first time trying to grow them so, fingers crossed.

I’m glad to have ‘real life’ friends who are able to give me their spoiler-free thoughts about the Loki series. I know myself well enough — I wouldn’t be able to watch new episodes as they air without losing hours of free time by fixating on the show, which they understand.

I should have the results of my neuropsychology assessment in the near future; I’m very grateful to have access to mental health professionals that understand the measures I’m attempting to take in service of understanding my needs.

(I’m also looking forward to a ~certain concert that appears may actually happen one day, but I’m convinced saying it aloud would jinx it lol)

Also, thanks for the follow. you’re the first one! (I’ll stay anonymous in my responses mainly because I feel like I hit a land mine, but I’m assuming you know who this is.) my account was seriously only made to sing praises to all the Loki fanfic creators I really appreciated in ao3, you included, so I will definitely keep your words in mind. I look forward to your future posts!!!! My list is piling up!!

Working from the bottom up... You’re welcome! This tumblr spent almost seven years as a side blog so it’s nice to finally be able to return the favour to people who have followed me, as well authors I’d like to keep up with. And I completely understand the decision to remain anonymous; there’s little to prevent truly spiteful users from barging into your own inbox with their misconceptions. That said, I’m happy to respond privately to any non-anonymous (is that the best description?) messages from you or anyone else that prefers it. I did figure out after responding to your initial message that you were already leaps and bounds ahead of my suggestion of engaging with authors, which was lovely to see!

I have to admit I’m no different than any Terminally Online millennial in that I have many thoughts on celebrity worship and parasocial interactions but also... I’m fully aware what kind of blog I run here! It would be a touch hypocritical to presume the authority of casting the first stone on that issue. My politics are so far left at this point that I have only minimal patience for Disney and Marvel Studios products regardless of their artistic merits, not to mention the absolute White Nonsense observed in many fandoms of British actors. On the other hand I have the pleasure of living with the contradictions of ADHD which, in my case, turns seemingly simple bits of writing into an exercise to put it mildly. (Shout-out to onelook.com/thesaurus.)

MCU Loki, imo, is rough around the edges and I’ve always had high expectations for each movie (only to be let down) but it wasn’t only until this year that fanfiction helped me create an AU where writers actually cared for the character. Thanks for your commentary in each post. They’ve been helpful in getting to know the author as well as their love for their craft. I can also see your love for each recommendation you post because of how much thought you put into them.

Goodness, this is by far the kindest anonymous message I've received in my [mumble] years on tumblr. I'm immeasurably glad I can help you navigate the immensity of this overflowing fandom, it's genuinely a pleasure to curate this collection for my own reference and doubly so knowing that other readers are enjoying the same works I have. (Having my taste validated doesn't hurt the ego, either!)

Regarding characterisation throughout the MCU, I completely agree with you, especially in recent years as Marvel sought to conclude the Infinity arc. I've been able to explore this with friends who were left disappointed at how their own favourite characters had been written; it feels that the aim of Marvel and Disney to impress worldwide audiences has led to inconsistent development and distortion of characters in service of pre-established plot points. But I'll hold on to that essay for another day.

There's so much I want to address for someone new to MCU Loki fandom and all the nuance, context, and inescapable discourse, but I'm trying to keep this brief!

Thank you for such a sweet and sincere message, I must of course encourage you to send similar well-wishes to any author whose work has brought you joy. I'm of the mind that each of us is partly responsible to foster appreciation and mitigate hostility within our online spaces. On tumblr in particular this fandom can feel so (pleasantly!) insular it's easy to forget hundreds of millions of people consume and interpret the source material, and much of our internal conflict seems to stem from that. I almost went on for another paragraph but I won't fall victim to Marvel pontification! It's not worth it!

Anyway. I'm so pleased you're enjoying our virtual community, and I'm so grateful for this message. Feel free to write again if you have questions or concerns. Much love.