#b x

The sensation of calmness within mind and body is new to me. My mind rolls over like a ticker, constant racing thoughts. I have never felt still.

Today I felt still. Just for a short few minutes, I felt a calming peace and serenity.

I like this new me, it makes me want to wear a constant smile.

B x

Truly one of the best things B x could ever get me.  I wore it proudly on Sunday for FSF…

We said our goodbyes last night.  you'll be jetting off today, and it won't be a week until i see you again, with which you'll jet off again.  But for some reason, the tears fell as I got onto the highway.  It hadn't even been a minute, and I already missed you.  I miss you the most when you travel far away, and I understand the reasons why.  I don't have a problem with that.  But, fuck...I wish it weren't this hard to see you so often.  I feel like I'm being selfish that way.

We talk so often about wishing to be in each others' beds at night, how nice it is to hold each other in our arms.  I love nothing more than to dream about days like that.  I just wish it were easier to come true and be more of a reality than a once-in-awhile thing.

I haven't ever wanted to be with a person so much so badly in my life.  I don't want to seem clingy or weird or anything like that, but you truly are my everything.  I really can't imagine my life without you.  I just want to be closer to you than i already am.  I need to get over that, I guess.  I'm not too sure sometimes how to curb those feelings of ache.  I know it sounds all mushy, but...I can't help it.  I love you so fucking much, it blows my mind.  it will forever blow my mind how crazy in love I am with you.  You put boys to shame.  They wish they could be as awesome as you.  I haven't been this happy with a person until I met you.  You changed it all.  You changed me for the better.

I think it's funny when I read those "dear future boyfriend" posts because i used to think things like that.  But now I got you.  It makes me wonder, where are the "dear boyfriend" posts/tumblrs?  Maybe I should make one.  would kinda need photoshop to make it all fancy and shit.  hmmm...

ugh, getting off track.  I fuckin' love this kid to PIECES.  He is certainly the bees knees.

It feels like we've been together for much longer than that, though. We've known each other for more than a year now, and i haven't been this happy...well, ever.  You treat me like a queen, and sometimes i forget that it's ok to be spoiled once in a while and to have nice things done for you.  Our current question always tends to be "Where did you come from?".  And I wholeheartedly believe we dreamt each other up.  At least, i know i did.  This is what being in love is supposed to be like.  and I'm glad I found it with you.

[M x <3's B x]

Do you ever get those moments where you think about a previous time and you get all sorts of giggly and smile-y?

I thought about my trip to L.A. last year.  and though my friend and I did all these fun things, the best part about that trip was seeing you on the last day.

I still think about being so bold as to meet up with you, how bold it was to walk up to you and kiss you.  I thought about how bold I was in general.  We had obviously been texting before, and kind of getting to know each other, but this was probably the first time we really hung out after that time in August.  And after L.A.?  That probably really started to set things off.  Insecurities, being unsure, wondering what the next step to take was.  And now look where we are!

I am so thankful each and every day that I met you.  I'm so happy that I've found someone that loves me for me, and loves everything about me.  I'm glad that I do that exact same thing back for them as well.  I love reminiscing about old times, because they were so much fun, and we still have so much ground to cover!  I know I've only known you for a little over a year, but it feels like I've known you for so much longer than that.