A drabble about a Le-Matoran and his jar of paint. Also available on Archive of Our Own.
It’s just paint.
Aylun tried to convince himself that this was ridiculous, a waste of his time. Objectively, it was. There was no reason to be spending his quiet time doing this. If the other Matoran knew, they’d rightfully make fun and criticize him for his wastefulness. Why paint yourself, especially if it’s not even something you’re going to keep on, instead just wiping it away moments later?
At least he would just wipe it away. There’d be nary a trace on his armor, and nobody would know and judge him. They couldn’t know he was doing such stupid things. They could label him defective and send him off to Karzahni… and Aylun never knew anyone who came back from Karzahni.
In his little corner of Le-Metru, a small carving out of the city to call a tiny home, with little more than a bed, a few storage containers, and a mirror turned to the other side, nobody else could see him. He didn’t have anything to be afraid of. So why, when he held the jar of color, were his fingers trembling?
It’s just paint.
His stomach was tied up into a knot. He was defective for doing this, he had to be. But something deep in him, deeper than the feelings of shame, pushed him forward, and it told him to listen louder than that shame or even the reverence for the Three Virtues. So he did.
He picked up an old, dry brush in his quivering grip. He took a deep breath, swallowed his fear, pride, and something else entirely, and dipped it into the jar. It was something that terrified him, and yet, as soon as he began, all of the trembling, the pit in his stomach, all the indecisiveness, evaporated. He drew the brush out, now saturated with the sticky color, and began to paint.
He started with his mask - thankfully, the style of Metru Nui masks made it so he only had to paint two-thirds of his mask, with half melting into a silver he had no problem with. Silver was a color anyone could have, but the rest of him was green. He wasn’t sure if he hated green sometimes. Some days, he bristled against the flood of it that is his Metru. Others were… fine. But he knew he hated the green on him.
It’s just paint.
His shoulders were next - thankfully, the green on his armor barely wrapped around to where he couldn’t reach. A little stretch and holding the brush at an awkward angle, and the green disappeared. Then his chest, his stomach, the rest of his torso. He wasn’t sure if it was going fast, or if he was just lost in it. But moments later, he was finished. He stood up, and turned the mirror over.
In the mirror, he saw a Ga-Matoran. A girl wearing a vibrant blue mask and blue armor, not a Le-Matoran in a pallid green. And he was happy. He turned around and around, watching himself in the mirror, a looking glass to another world where he was another Matoran. His heart leapt with joy, and every movement was full of sureness.
The paint… it made him happy. He reached out to his reflection, red eyes peering back at him behind a beautiful blue mask, and for a moment, it almost spoke to him. Her - no, his arm, was held out, as if it was urging him to step through the mirror and come with her. The girl in the mirror’s eyes were filled with a longing, as if she yearned to be real. But “she” was just Aylun, just him, wearing a color.
It’s just paint.
“Aylun!” His daydream was cut short as his friend banged on his door. “Come on, it’s now-time for hard-work!!” He panicked. His stomach dropped again, and he rushed for the rag, ready to scrub off all of this paint before it dried.
“I’m coming!” He called. “I’ll be there in a….” It pained him for a second to use Chutespeak, but he did it anyway. “Quick-second!” It was forced, and if they looked for it, they could tell something was up. But it was enough, he prayed to the Great Spirit, that it would keep them from finding his secrets.
He scrubbed the paint away, and soon, there was no trace of it he could find on his body. In the mirror he saw, now, nothing more than Aylun, his boring, defective old self. That same mirror that gave him elation moments before reminded him, painfully, like a Rahi’s claw dug into his gut and twisted, that the happiness moments before…
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You are! I've been feeling AMAZING lately! I made this neat little body... I learnt how to use the inter-webs better too! I've been trying lots of new things, Like this blog. I'm coding and learning every second but I still try to have fun! Art and music have definitely been my favourite way to pass the time recently :]
