#awkwardhandshake

I was once asked by a friend after saying something stupid to someone, why I say things like that. My response was, “I have no idea.”

I’ve recently been thinking about this; why do I say these things? Often I can feel that it’s not a good thing as the words are coming out of my mouth, but there’s just no stopping it. It’s like those horses that were trained to never stop running unless they hear the stop word. In my case, there is no stop word for my mouth. My words just keep barreling right on out until they crash into the ear holes of those around me.

So let’s just get something cleared up. If you ask my friends, “Why does she say things like that?”, they’ll shrug, sigh and say, “That’s just her. You get used to it.”

No one knows why I do these things! Even I don’t have an explanation for you!

For instance, one time I was meeting a friend of a friend. His name was Evan. My friend and I were talking to him and as I was shaking his hand, I was thinking about how I didn’t know anyone else with that name. I’m pondering this while still holding onto his hand.

He started to get uncomfortable and said “I’m gonna need that hand back.”

Instead of just saying “Sorry I was spacing” or something equally normal, I got weird and said “Oh sorry, it’s a nice hand. I want it.”

We all got really quiet. I could see my friend out of the corner of my eye; I’ve never seen a person’s eyes get so huge.

As we all tried to recover from how weirded out by me we were, the conversation awkwardly started up again.

Later, as we were leaving, trying to joke it off, I said, with a wink and a finger gun, “Hey, it was nice to meet you! Nice hand! Haha!”

He chuckled nervously and didn’t say anything.

Apparently what he got from that was that I had a crush on him. First of all buddy, don’t flatter yourself. Second of all, if I did have a crush on you, it’s not a big triumph for you. I was sixteen; I also had a crush on Robin from Teen Titans. He’s a cartoon.

The moral of the story is, whatever happens; happens. There’s no rhyme or reason to my words or actions, and I’m sorry if I’ve ever accidentally hit on you.

I probably wasn’t aware it was happening.