omg. Combeferre is SO HANDSOME. do you plan on updating? I seriously LOVE this fic SO MUCH
hello my friend! i hope it didnât take too long for me to see this message, as you might have seen from my main blog i havenât been on tumblr in a few months... i DO plan on updating this comic, never fear! iâm moving in august (lol parallels), but after all that madness is over iâll be back on a consistent schedule. thank you for your support!
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hi. I don't know if I've ever left a comment here about your fic forget me not on AO3, but I just read it again and I commented on AO3 but I don't know if you read comments there anymore - but I see you're active here and I really want you to know that I adore it so much. If I were to tell you ALL about how much I love it, I could go on for thousands of words but just thank you from the bottom of my heart for the fic, it messed with my heart so much but your words are just magical. Thank you
Ooooooh my god thatâs so sweet??? Thank you so much it really means so much to me âĽâĽâĽ I have spent so much time on this fic itâs always a pleasure to know people like it! I do read the comments on AO3 itâs just that replying to them got me so stressed out i stopped, but they are really appreciated nontheless!!
Thank you from my little former (? maybe?) writerâs heart!!! âĽ
do not worry, it's not too late to answer for sure !! take your time and wish u all the best with your moving - maybe you will meet a special someone in the lift xx ;) still can't get over how HOT your ferre is though. cannot wait to see more of the comic
jokeâs on you iâll be moving in with my special someone! đ well, not right away, but in october weâll be moving in together.
(actually that storyâs a whole thing on its own, we were best friends growing up and then over quarantine she confessed her feelings while i was visiting my hometown like the day before i left to go back to seattle and anyway long story short my life somehow turned into fanfiction lmaooo)
sorry for bothering but can u tag me in "we were married last christmas"??? I love your stories so much, loved it when u were wakandasoldier, love it now and will always love 'em (btw do u have a permanent tag list if u do can u put me in it?) thank you so much đŚđâ¤
Ahhh Iâm sorry!! Iâll put you on the master tag for sure, but this is like the one thing Iâm not doing tags for because I have a solid posting schedule! It wonât be erratic and Iâll make sure to reblog the series masterpost at least once on the days I post (along with the timezone reblogs) in case you miss anything!
Thank you so much though and Iâm so happy you enjoy my writing â¤ď¸â¤ď¸
Summary: It goes like thisâ there is a past, and there is a present. You donât know how long youâve been alive. (You donât even know if you are alive.) But. You know him.
Words: 1,753
Warnings:Â nothing :o
Notes: for anon â honestly you wanted something so different probably but i suck so have this instead lmao soz
It goes like thisâ
Heâs your best friend, and heâs going to war. Heâs Sergeant James Barnes now, part of the 107th, awaiting orders. And you? Youâre a volunteer nurse, and youâre being shipped off in a few days time.Â
Youâre not going because of him. Youâre going because you want to help, but you know youâd never be able to fight in a war. So being a nurse is the second best option.Â
You tell him over a shared pack of Marlboroâs and a piece of apple pie and shitty beer. (Heâd stolen the piece of apple pie, and heâd admitted to it with a sheepish grin, knowing that you were about to scold him about it as you always do whilst feeling more fond of him than anything, but you donât. Not this time.)
He got mad at you, and heâd stayed mad until the morning that you were to leave. Bucky came and sent you off, and he hugged you so tight and you couldâve sworn you felt something wet drip along the side of your neck, butâ Bucky Barnes doesnât cry, so maybe you were imagining things.Â
Thatâs the last time you see him.Â
Until it isnât.Â
Youâre in the med tent, changing the dressing on a soldierâs wound from a bullet, when you hear a familiar voice. But you donât let yourself get distracted (not yet), because youâve to do your job first.Â
Then youâre done and you turn around, and itâs at that exact moment that he walks into the tent, traces of laughter on his face even though half his face is covered in blood.Â
He seems to see you at the same time, and then heâs mouthing your name, and youâre mouthing his, and then youâre speed-walking towards him and hugging him tightly but gently, relishing in the feel of your best friend (is he just that though?) against you again. At long last.
Youâre literally in a war zone, but somehowâ it feels like home.Â
Bucky gets sent out on a mission.Â
He never comes back, and you feel like youâd never be able to breathe properly again.
Everyone is staring at Captain America as he leads a whole bunch of captured soldiers back into camp. Captain America isnât dressed in tights and that dumb cowl heâd used for his performance before.Â
Heâs got a helmet on, one with the letter A, and a leather jacket with multiple tears in it. Heâs still got his tacky outfit on underneath it, you can literally see the star on his chest under the jacket.Â
But. But.Â
The one youâve got your eyes fixed on is the man walking by his side, with a rifle in his hands. His second-in-command.
It makes sense, because if you ever thought that the serum would change who Steve Rogers was inside, and who he loved and held dear to his heart, then you never really knew Steve at all.
Because walking beside him is Bucky.
Buckyâs alive.Â
And Christâ it feels good to be finally be able to breathe again.
Buckyâs come in for you to check that the wound in his side is healing alright, and he waits till itâs just the two of you in the tent to tell you that heâs going to follow Steve on another mission.
You want to get frustrated, but you canât, because you know him. He loves deeply and heâs fiercely loyal.Â
He was offered an honourable discharge, and he was going to take the offer. But then SteveâCaptain Americaâhe told Bucky about how he wanted to form a team, with full intentions on storming HYDRA bases.Â
Bucky couldnât leave Steve out here alone. Said all he had back in Brooklyn were his family, and Steve, and you. You and Steve were here, with no intentions of leaving any time soon, so he stayed.Â
You get it, though. So you say nothing when he tells you of it, instead choosing to focus on his wound.Â
And when youâre done, Bucky pulls you in for a hug and you stay like that, holding him like itâs the last time. You stay like that, unmoving, in each otherâs arms, for feels like eternity. (Itâs still not enough.)
You pull back, pressing your forehead against his and shutting your eyes tight. You have no right to ask him of this, but youâre going to. âCome back to me. Please, for the love of God, come back to me.â
Bucky pulls away, pressing his lips to your forehead in a hard kiss. âI always do, donât I?â He mouths against your skin, and it makes you smile, but thereâs something bitter about the way he says it.
You take a step back, biting on your lip. âGo kick some ass,â you smile, kicking gently at the sole of his boot.
And he laughs, winks back at you. âTrust me. A lot of asses are getting kicked.â
You never know if he comes back or not, because the base is ambushed and there is a stinging pain down your arm and then you see nothing at all.Â
It goes like thisâ
They call you a Winter Soldier. You are merely one, though not the first. The first Winter Soldier is the one that trains you, all of you, and he has a metal arm and long hair and is savage in training.Â
The original Winter Soldier.
You don't know why, but you think you know him. His face is in countless memories that you see through your own eyes, though you donât know why youâre seeing it because as far as youâre aware: youâve never met him before.
With those stolen memories, you feel...
You feel. You feel emotions. You feel a warmth spreading throughout your insides when you see him, and your heart stutter in your chest when his eyes pierce through you.
But that doesnât make sense, does it?
You feel yourself coming to, and you know youâre a machine who should not feel fear or pain, but youâre already fearing the pain that you know is going to come with being defrosted.Â
Your eyes open when the cryo door is opened, and the original Winter Soldier is looking back at you with wide eyes (theyâre so blue) as he pulls off the equipment thatâs keeping you alive whilst in cryo.
âY/N? Hey. Hey, Y/N. We need to get you out of here, okay? Weâll get you outta here,â heâs talking, and youâre puzzled, to say the least, because youâre not supposed to talk.Â
Especially not in English.Â
You blink at him, not saying anything, even as heâs got you out of the chamber. Because saying anything before youâve gone for recalibration would lead to less than pleasant things.
âHey,â he speaks again, now his hands are cupping either side of your face, and heâs ducking his head down to look at you.
You think you know him. You know those eyes.Â
âY/N, you with me? Itâs me. Itâs Bucky. Câmon doll, you know me. You know me,â he damn near pleads, and he chokes out what you think is a laugh. âWeâve been best friends for ages, and you used toââ heâBucky?âbreathes out another laugh. ââ you used to help me patch Steve up when I couldnât âcause I was too bruised up to do it for him. And when I was serving, too, you helped me âcause you were a nurse. Remember that?â
You still donât say anything. Youâre... confused.Â
He seems to know it, too, because he tightens his jaw, nods to himself, and then heâs picking you up and jogging out of the base where you (and the others) are kept when youâre inactive.Â
You make it out, and he places you on your unstable feet to pull off his coat and pull it over your shoulders before heâs picking you up again. He brings you into a jet where itâs no longer freezing cold (not like cryo, not like the snowy weather outside) and you donât know whatâs happening.
This isnât how things go.Â
You should be getting wiped, getting a recalibration, and then being sent out on a mission. This isnât what usually happens.Â
Heâs in the front of the jet, flipping switches that cause lights to come on and adjusting knobs, frown set on his face.Â
This is the Winter Soldier that trained you.Â
But it isnât.Â
âI think I know you,â you manage to say, though your voice is so soft and croaky and hoarse because of how youâve not spoken since you were last active.Â
But he whips his head around to look at you, almost taken off guard, and he looks right at you. His lips are parted as he abruptly stops all movement.
He stands, almost hesitantly, and makes his way over to you. âYou do,â he says, as quiet as youâd spoken. âYour nameâs Y/N Y/L/N. We met in school. Many, many years ago. Been best friends since we met, really. We used to, uh. When we got older, we used to smoke Marlboroâs and share apple pie,â he tells you, his eyes with a faraway look in them and tone drifting off.
He breathes out a laugh. âYou used to, uh. Used to give me shit for stealinâ the pie. âCause I usually did. And youâd always rag on me about it, but youâd still eat the damn pie anyway.â
You blink at him, your eyes trailing over every curve and slope of his face.Â
Eyes that are blue and grey at the same time look back at you, and you lift a hand, cautious and slow, and brush the tip of your index finger against his cheek.Â
His eyes stay open, staring at you, lips parted still.Â
He licks at his lips, âWe used to do everything together. Almost everything, anyway. And like, weâd have times where we didnât speak for a while, but we always ended up coming back to each other, âcause we always needed each other. Or, well. I know I always needed you. I...â he trails off, darting his eyes away, though his right hand comes up to link his fingers with the one youâre trailing against his skin.Â
âI loved you,â heâBucky? The Winter Soldier?âsays in a hushed whisper, your hand against his lips.
âI think... I think I loved you, too.â
He blinks, then heâs smiling, then heâs laughing.
Itâs one of the best sounds youâve ever heard.
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(rly Bucky-centric tbh but) Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader
Summary: âSometimes home isnât four walls. Itâs two eyes and a heartbeat.â (x)Â Â
Words: 1,201
Warnings: language (& bucky hating himself if ur sick of that đ)
Notes: idk what this is tbh i mean no oneâs sending me prompts ;(( ps: thereâs a quote from this fic, and another from this fic which you should read bc why notÂ
âYouâre in love with her, arenât you?âÂ
Bucky blinks, looking back at Steve, looking away from the one person heâd been fixated on for far too long. He arches a brow, hums, acts like he hadnât heard Steveâs question. The kid shoots him a flat look. Bucky shrugs in response, looking away and nicking Steveâs glass, taking a swig of the... Ribena.Â
âI thought this was wine.â
Steve shrugs. âWas in the mood for Ribena.â
â... In a wine glass?â
Steve shrugs again, âWas feeling classy.â
Bucky snorts. âSeventy years in ice, still a goddamn smartass.â
Steve offers up a grin, shrugging for the third time, snatching his glass back. âYouâre avoiding the question, Buck. You are, arenât you? In love with her?â
Yes. Bucky doesnât say it out loud, though. Saying it would be him admitting it out loud for the first time.Â
And thatâs something he doesnât want to do. Not because he thinks sheâs below him or some fucked up shit like that. Itâs the opposite, really. Sheâs too good for him.
Bucky fucking hates himself.Â
Where Steve is stupid and reckless and self-sacrificial as he does dumb (really dumb)Â things, Bucky just does itâ not giving a shit if he comes back in one piece, or in twenty. He wonât call it dying for his country, dying for his city, dying for the people. Buckyâd call it dying and thanking god for finally having some fucking peace.Â
(Though a part of him doesnât even know if heâd get peace, even in death.)
Bucky hates himself, and there is plenty good reason for him to hate himself.
And then she came along. She came along and turned his world upside down and made him smile and laugh andâ good god, Bucky had never asked to feel happiness again, all heâd ever asked for was a little less pain.
Along with this girl came happiness and no pain at all.Â
Heâd decided then, that she was the sun. Bright, beautiful, and the world needed her. And if she was the sun, then he was the moonâ constantly chasing her.Â
He didnât deserve to be near her, didnât deserve to know her, definitely didnât deserve to love her. (Donât even get him started on the shadow of a chance that she might love him back.)
âWhy wonât you talk to me?â Steve asks, voice cracking almost, and Bucky looks at him againâ but all he sees is the ninety pound kid with black eyes and cuts on his cheeks. âI wonât, like, try anythinâ. Sabotage you, or likeâ I dunno. Wonât try to embarrass you in front of her. I just want you to be happy, Buck, I wonât fuck this up for you.â
Bucky canât help the snort that he lets out. ââs not,â he pauses, chuckling. ââs not that, kid. I promise. Itâs justââ he shrugs a shoulder. âYeah.â
âYeah...?â Steve arches a brow.
âYeah, Iâm in love with her,â Bucky very nearly mouths, not looking at Steve, but not looking at her, either.Â
âI always imagined youâd sound happier about something like that,â Steve says casually, and Buckyâs lip quirks up unintentionally. Thereâs a nudge against his shoulder. âWhatâs wrong?â
âI didnât... mean to.â
âDidnât mean to... what? Fall in love with her?â Steve sounds confused, but heâs right, as he almost always is. Itâs annoying. Bucky nods, anyway, still not looking at him. Steve scoffs out a laugh, âWe donât choose who we fall in love with, Buck.â
Buckyâs eyes follow her movements. Sheâs with Barton in the gym, the latter teaching the former how to shoot an arrow âwith style and precisionâ. She can shoot an arrow just fine, hit the bullseye more often than not, and all sheâs doing now is mostly humouring Barton.Â
She catches his eye through the window and winks at him, grin all sorts of cheeky, and Bucky canât help the tug at his lips. He rolls his eyes playfully, and thatâs got her stifling a laugh before turning back to watch Barton give her an archery lesson that she really doesnât need.Â
She keeps looking back at him at every few intervals though and Bucky canât seem to look away.
âButââ Steve continues, his voice seeping into Buckyâs ear. Bucky turns to look at him, only to see him already looking back, kind blue eyes shining like someoneâs poured the ocean in them. ââ we do choose to stay in love with them because it fills that part of ourselves that we choose not to love.â
Bucky almost snorts. Thereâs a lot of himself that he doesnât love. Everything, basically. He wants to scoff, say that that ainât true, âcause thereâs no way someone like her could love all the things that he hates about himself.
Then heâs reminded of how she never treats his metal arm like itâs anything less than his arm, and of the time that she was the first to approach him after heâd temporarily slipped into the Soldier before coming back to himself.Â
She was never afraid of him. If anything, she was afraid for him.Â
âYou look at her like sheâs... home, and youâre just trying like hell to figure out how to get back to it.â
Bucky swallows, doesnât want to admit that Steveâs right, heâs so fucking right, because Bucky hasn't known the definition of home since the forties. Home was a cramped apartment with shitty lighting and a tiny bed.
But nowâ home isnât a place. Itâs just two arms and a heartbeat and a smile that could light up the entire world. (Lord knows itâs lit his.)
âMaybe,â he allows, side-glancing at Steve, before heâs getting to his feet and walking over to her.Â
She looks up when he walks up to them, her cheeky grin turning soft and her eyes shining like there are stars trapped inside of them.
(There are. He swears heâs seen stars dancing in her eyes before.)Â
âBarton,â he calls out, forcing himself to tear his eyes away from her.
âBarnes!â Barton greets with a crooked grin. âCome for an archery lesson?â
âYou know she doesnât need lessons, like, at all, right?â He gestures over at her, arching a brow. âIâve seen her shoot. Hits the bullseye every time.â
Barton raises a brow, then looks back at her. He narrows his eyes at her, disbelieving, and she shrugs a shoulder, lifts the bow and shoots. It hits the bullseye.
âI canât believe you let me treat you like someone who hasnât even ever held a bow before, oh my God. What is wrong with you? We couldâve been doing something else for the past fuckingâ past hour! What is wrong with youââ
Her laughter rings in his ears like the best damn thing heâs ever heard. She laughs and laughs and her eyes are crinkled in the corners and sheâs half-heartedly blocking herself from Bartonâs playful pokes with the end of his bow and she stops to catch her breath, catching Buckyâs eye, running towards him to seek refuge from the pokes, and Bucky laughs, too, holding her in his arms and half blocking her and Buckyâ