(more) shit austin says on his 21st birthday
“I just farted again I’m sorry”
“Chris already opened it I love him”
“Chris reply to it please I wanna hear from you”
“Chris just please acknowledge me you’re the best I love you I need your acknowledgment”
“Shit I deleted that I hate myself”
“Call me old fashioned but sending a dick pic is lazy. True love means sending a bouquet of dicks”
“What the fuck tumblr. Actually ryan reynolds posted that. What the fuck Ryan Reynolds.”
“You havin fun makin another text post about me you piece of shit I hate you but I love you cuz you’re the best”
“Hey sebastian my birthday was also an important day in back to the future”
“I just scrolled really far down on tumblr cuz I rested my forehead on the spacebar”
*we get it you vape noises*
“oh i fucked up dammit”
“whateveridun care I sranked the song das good enuff for me”
“youre not fuckin jokin”
“Don’t tell me my phone’s batter is about to die you piece of shit”
“Nope already fucked up”
“this is a lot harder this time”
“things are a lot harder when you’re drunk”
“i don’t know the specifics but it was super fuckin broken”
“charge you sunuvabitch charge... charge”
*beeeeeeeeeeeeeeelch* “excuse me I’m sorry”
“nigga you boutta shit all over me”
*horse noises*
“OH FUCK WHAT”
“the game card is still in there don’t be that way”
“did I either break my copy of smash or my ds right now”
“i got another package of fruit snacks”
“the fuck is this? this a fuckin corn cob i don’t even know”
“this a fuckin lizard? a fuckin chameleon i dunno”
“oh shit the fuckin thing I thought was a corncob was a fuckin grasshoper just had to look at it sideways”
“why the fuck this grasshopper look like a corncob”
“why are these a bunch of bugs”
