#avenirdelightwrites

She was sitting on the other sofa across from him, leaning back and folding her arms in front of her chest. She could feel his eyes boring into her and she couldn’t resist the temptation to stare back at him. So she did.

She gritted her teeth. Those eyes were angry, those eyes had used to look at her in the most special way. She refused to believe that it was just in her head, that she was just making it up, because she had used to easily fall in love all over again every time she looked at those eyes but at some point, she started to feel that they’d changed.

“Really?” She challenged him, giving him a sharp look that matched his.

He scoffed again, pinching the bridge of his nose in stress. He shook his head. He couldn’t quite believe that she truly believed that he didn’t love her. Where did it even come from?

“Are you telling me that I lie every time I tell you I love you? Mind you, I say that every single day,” he said. But she was silent, so he continued. “Don’t I always give you everything? Make sure that you have everything you need, that you’re safe?” He asked. If she forgot about that, he was ready to remind her of all the things he did for her. Everything that he needed to sacrifice. “I give you my world.”

“You give me your money.” Her voice was firm and certain. And it stabbed him right in his heart. 

It wasn’t that she was ungrateful for everything he’d given her. Moving her into his big house, constantly buying her expensive gifts, taking her to travel the world on holidays, giving her a luxury life—but that wasn’t the reason she’d fallen in love with him. She was never in it for the dime.

She had fallen in love with him for who he was. Or at least who he had used to be.

“I’m thankful that you gave me this wonderful life but I really don’t need the latest Prada release or to be on a yacht every holiday. I don’t need new jewellery every time you feel sorry, I don’t need you to surprise me with flowers in the morning just for you to go missing for the rest of the day.” 

“I thought you liked them. Have you been lying, then?”

“I do appreciate them but that’s not the point! The point is I need you!” She sounded so desperate. She honestly had been feeling this way for a while and she hoped that this time he was really listening to her. “I just need a little bit of your time, for you to be with me, and not just physically. You’re with me but your head is somewhere else. I need you to just look at me, I–”

“Well, I’m sorry, okay?!” He cut her off, the tone of his voice rising up. “I’m sorry that my work demands so much of my time, it asks so much from me, I’ve always told you that from the beginning. My career is my life and there would be rough bumps along the way. Things get hard, things–”

“Yeah, that’s the problem, don’t you see??” Her tone was as high now, it was only adding to the tension. “You run away from me when things get hard for you. You don’t even want to share anything with me. You give me gifts and temporary attention to ‘make up’ for it. Every time!” She stood up from the sofa. She frustratingly pointed a finger against her chest, giving him a piercing gaze. “Am I so untrustworthy or unreliable? Am I that insufferable to deal with so you don’t want to open up to me?”

“Don’t.” He shook his head, clenching his fists. “Don’t start making up things now. I never for a second think about you that way.”

“Well, you always make me wonder. Wonder why you shut me out.” She shrugged. “It’s the truth, you can’t deny it. You always leave me out of things.”

“I’m just protecting you!” He abruptly stood up. “I can’t– I’m sorry if it’s hard for me to share things that I know would just hurt you and stress you out!” He moved his hands animatedly and quite angrily. “Don’t you understand?! I am saving you the troubles and the pain!”

“I want the f*cking pain!!” 

Her voice pierced through his ears and he froze in his place, feeling shivers down his spine. He clenched his jaw and gulped. The anger, the desperation, the pain that she had been holding in, she’d just let it all out. She’d gotten so upset at this point, the tears quickly pooled in her eyes and threatened to fall. It pained him even more. He had never seen her like this.

“I’d rather feel the pain, suffer with you.” Her voice was small and timid this time, but there were so many emotions in it. “I’d choose that, rather than feeling left out and not appreciated. I promise you that’s the worst thing to feel. I hate it. I absolutely f*cking hate it.”

He sat back down, burying his face into his hands, trying to compose himself and find the right words to say. He felt her anger, her sadness, but he also needed her to understand that he did everything for a reason.

He let out a little sigh as he looked up to her. Her tears were already streaming down her cheeks. 

“I don't live a normal life and all I’m trying to do is to keep you out of the abnormalities and all the absurd things. The sh*t people say out there, it gets scary sometimes. People are actually willing to do foolish and crazy things to bring me down.” He spoke with a more gentle tone, trying to reason with her. “And if you’re hurt, if something bad happens to you, I won’t be able to forgive myself.”

She wiped her tears away with her shaky hands, before she hugged herself with arms, trying to provide herself some comfort. He didn’t only sound serious, he also sounded sorry.

“What do you want me to do, then?” He stared at her with tired eyes. The anger in his eyes had worn off, it even looked like he was going to cry. “I’m sorry. I really am.” His voice was a bit shaky. “I’ll do whatever makes you happy. Please. I can’t lose you. What am I going to be if I lose you?”

Her heart clenched painfully. She couldn’t deny that it was heartbreaking to see himself asking the question—like he was really scared to lose her, like his world would crumble down in an instant if he lost her. She had never seen him like this before. He’d always appeared strong in front of her, like nothing could ever bring him down, like no one could ever catch him looking weak.

“Every single thing that I’ve ever done is to protect you and to make you happy, to earn your love. Most of the time I don’t think I deserve you, you know. Because you deserve more than this f*cking fool,” he said pointing at himself. “Who apparently doesn’t know how to love. I’m sorry if I’ve done it the wrong way and made you feel the opposite way.”

Without her even realising it, what she’d been wishing to see was happening right in front of her—for him to open up to her and show his vulnerable side. Her tears fell again, but for a different reason this time. She felt his confusion, his sorrow, and she was hurting with him.

After a moment of deafening silence, he suddenly stood up. He approached her, who was just standing with her head down. He grabbed her by her waist and turned her to look at him. He fixed her dishevelled hair, tucking stray strands of hair to the back of her ears. He lifted her head up by her chin, before he continued to wipe her tears again. Every touch was so gentle, every touch felt gave her warmth and comfort that she’d been longing.

“Look at me, please,” he said. She finally shifted her gaze up and stared back at him. His eyes were looking at her fondly. “I love you so much. Please believe me.” He choked up, trying his best to convey his feelings through his voice. “I took you home to my mum and told her you’re the most special person in my life, I try to treat you like a queen, I see you and talk about you like you’re my prized possession, because you are.”

She listened to him. She tried to really listen to him. And honestly, this time it wasn’t so hard to believe him. She appreciated that he was finally opening up, even though it had taken them quite a long time to get there, not to mention all the struggle they had had to go through. But he finally found his courage to be fragile.

“Do you know what? You don’t have to be strong all the time,” she said as his hands fell to her waists and safely rested there. Her voice was almost a whisper. “I’m your girlfriend. You have a responsibility to protect me, but I also have a responsibility to be your partner. So let me do my part.” She held his face and stroked a thumb on his cheek. “We do this together. We’re supposed to go through happiness and sadness together, we go through all the troubles together. You hear me?”

“Yeah, I hear you.” He nodded. “I’m really sorry, okay? I love you,” he said again, before she pulled him into a hug.

“I love you too. I love you,” she mumbled against his shoulder. She heard him letting out a sob as his chest and shoulders shook. He held her tight, and it had been a while since it felt like this. She felt heard and seen. She felt loved. It was all she ever wanted.

And he couldn’t describe the wave of relief that washed over him. He really thought that his biggest fear, losing her, was really going to happen. He realised that he’d actually failed her. All this time he had loved her his own way which he thought was the best and the safest way but apparently, it didn’t give her the safety he wanted for her. She was right—they had to do this together, and it meant that he had to listen to her, count her thoughts and feelings.

He would try. He promised he would try his best to see her how she wanted to be seen, and love her how she wanted to be loved. Because she was the most important person in his life, and he’d do anything to make himself deserve her.

—

i had this sitting on my draft and i almost forgot about it! i kept switching between john and hendo when i wrote it. tell me who you imagined this! i hope you enjoyed it<3

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“You think I won’t notice how you purposely do an extra set that’s completely unnecessary?”

Mason completely ignored his best friend’s question and did what he was going to do: the completely unnecessary extra set of bench press.

“Listen. We don’t know how long this camp is gonna last. It’s not like I’m hoping for us to go out soon, but you know what I mean,” Declan said. Mason could feel Declan boring his eyes into him. “What I’m trying to say is, you’re wasting chances and time. You might not get it again tomorrow.”

Mason might have looked so focused on doing the bench press but he heard everything Declan said. And as much as he wanted to ignore it, he admitted that what his best friend had said was true.

—

They were sitting down at dinner. James and Bukayo had been at the table too, they’d hung out and done some Saka’s Spelling School episodes, something Bukayo had come up with for his TikTok. The two boys had left, leaving the other two who wanted to stay for dessert.

They ate their desserts in silence. Declan was scrolling on his phone, probably reading messages from his family and friends. Mason took the opportunity to secretly glance over and over again at her, who was sitting at the table near the TV. Their tables were separated by a water fountain and plants, so he hoped that she wouldn’t catch him staring at her.

Mason had grown a crush on her—a fairly huge crush, he couldn’t deny it anymore. He forgot how or when it started. She’d been a photographer for the England team for almost a year. At some point he’d just started thinking that she was pretty, fun to be with, and he’d started to pay more attention to her. Some of the boys liked to tease her and joke around with her, and Mason always found it incredibly cute when she became shy or when she let out some cute giggles.

The problem was, lately he’d realised that she’d been strangely distant. She was always taking photos of another group, always at the other side of the room or the pitch, she was never near him. She never came to hang out anymore, at least not when he was there. At first he’d thought that it was just coincidence, but the more he paid attention, the more he was sure that she was avoiding him.

“Do you think I’d done something wrong?” Mason broke the silence. “Do you think she’s mad at me or something? Or maybe she just doesn’t like me.” The second question caught Declan’s attention and he looked up at gloomy-looking Mason.

“Listen, mate. You know I only have one answer and advice, for you, yeah?”

“‘There’s only one way to find out?’”

“Exactly.”

Mason glanced at her again and she was laughing with the other staff. His heart skipped a beat because she looked pretty with that smile on her face.

“Last week I found her alone here, editing some photos. I stopped for a moment and tried to make a conversation. She looked… Uncomfortable. Am I the problem?”

“There’s only one way to find out, Mase.”

Mason sighed and dropped his gaze to his now unappealing dessert, spinning his spoon randomly on the bowl. It seemed like Declan was also tired with indecisiveness, considering that they’d had this kind of conversation a few times before. Declan decided to get back on his phone and leave Mason alone with his troubled thoughts.

Maybe Declan was right again, that there was only one way to find out.

—

Mason decided to wake up early today. He’d seriously been paying attention, so he knew that usually, her breakfast plate would already be empty by the time he arrived at the hotel’s restaurant. He was determined to catch her, maybe have breakfast together, and ask her about the thing that had been bothering his mind.

As he predicted, she was already there, occupying the table in the corner of the room. There was barely anyone there, it definitely seemed like the perfect moment for Mason to execute his plan. He could immediately feel his nervousness building up as he picked up a plate and filled it with his usual choice of breakfast.

When she noticed him approaching her table, Mason could swear she almost choked on the water she was drinking. He greeted her with a cheerful “good morning” and she replied with the same tone.

“Why are you always here so early?”

She gave him a shy grin. “I need uh– My morning solitude. Need to uhh, compose myself first thing in the morning before facing the day.”

“May I sit here? If that doesn’t ruin your morning solitude.”

“No, of course not.” She shook her head. “Take a seat. Please.”

Mason took the empty seat in her diagonal as he figured it would be too awkward if he sat right in front of her. His heart was starting to race, but he reminded himself to keep himself calm. Last night he had made a plan since he absolutely didn’t want to scare her or anything. He’d thought about starting with a question about work.

“So… Busy day today?”

“Not really. Just the usual.” 

“I heard Beckham is coming to training today.” 

“Ah… Yeah. I think I’m gonna be assigned for him.”

“Have you met him before?”

“No, I haven’t,” she slightly shook her head before continuing to eat. Mason eyed his messy plate and started eating too.

The silence took over sooner than Mason had anticipated. Last time they’d interacted, it wasn’t as awkward. Maybe it was the setting that made it feel this way, the freaking solitude, but Mason knew that he couldn’t let the silence really settle in and make it more awkward so he needed to try to carry on.

“So… Being a photographer for England. Do you enjoy it?”

She slightly raised her eyebrows before nodding. “Yeah, of course. I love photography, I like football… And with England it’s always an amazing experience. I mean, we’re at the World Cup now. It’s insane.”

“Couldn’t agree more. And I feel like this is a very special group of people we’re working with…”

“Yeah, yeah, of course. Everyone’s so, uhh…” She looked away quickly. “So nice and lovely.”

Mason’s heart dropped. She didn’t even want to look at him when she said it. Wasn’t he nice and lovely too?

Then there was silence again. There were only sounds of the hotel staff talking, the sounds from the little cooking stations in the room, and their utensils against the plates. It wasn’t going smoothly at all and he really couldn’t stand this awkwardness. 

“Hey, may I ask you a question?” Mason said before he couldn’t even stop himself. He paused and silently took a deep breath, bracing himself for whatever was coming. She was eating so she just simply nodded and shrugged. “Sorry, I absolutely don’t mean to offend you. I’m just asking because I just want to know– Uhh, I’ve been wondering if I’ve done something wrong. To you.”

She furrowed her eyebrows, not getting his statement and question.

“Lately, I’ve realised that… You never take photos of me. And… I don’t know, it just feels like it’s become so awkward and kind of weird between us.”

“What?” Her voice barely came out as a whisper. Her face was blank, Mason couldn’t read her; well, maybe he actually could but he was panicking.

“Well, maybe it’s just me but– It has kind of made me wonder what’s wrong, or like I said, if I’ve done something wrong. We used to hang out, talk, and then we didn’t.” The disappointment was clear in his voice. “You… You’ve become so distant.”

“Have I?”

“That’s how I feel. I mean, we barely interact anymore.”

“And that’s… A problem for you?”

Mason shrugged. “Yeah, kind of…”

She dropped her gaze and took her glass, drinking her water, leaving Mason’s questions unanswered. It had gotten from awkward to super awkward. Mason was starting to regret it and he realised he should’ve just brought up other things. The last win, the weather, the cats, so many things to talk about, but he couldn’t stop himself from jumping on the topic right away.

“Sorry, this must be confusing to you. I didn’t mean to–”

“No, it’s okay, I mean, I’m sorry– I didn’t know you feel that way,” she said. “So, uhh, you’re bothered that we’re not hanging out? May I ask why?”

“‘Cause I like hanging out with you. And it’s always a pleasure when we get to work together. You’re a nice and lovely person,” he said. You could easily tell that he was being sincere.

“Oh…”

They both fell silent again. Mason took a sip of his tea, hoping it would help to calm himself down but unfortunately he only got more and more nervous with each passing second. He had no idea of what she was thinking or what she was going to say. Maybe this was a mistake after all—Mason quickly thought of a way out of this because it started to feel so uncomfortable even for him.

Just when he was about to open his mouth, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Good morning, mate.” It was Madders. The lad then greeted her too—which she quickly replied—before turning to him again. “You’re early today.”

“You are early today.” Madders wasn’t an early morning person to his knowledge. Why would he be here now interrupting such a critical moment?

Madders sighed and shook his head. “Kennedy called, said Leo woke up and spent an hour crying, wouldn’t stop asking for me. So she had to call, and…”

Mason couldn’t hear anything Madders said; it went in one ear and out the other. He glanced at her, who was now paying attention to Madders, but still got hints of shock and confusion in her face. Mason felt his heart sinking to the pit of his stomach.

—

The sombre atmosphere could be felt around the hotel. Once they’d gotten back to the hotel from the stadium after England’s loss to France, they’d all gone straight to their rooms and locked themselves there.

It was a tough loss, a tough exit from the World Cup—it was definitely going to take a while to get over this one. They were supposed to win this all. They were supposed to lift a trophy after failing to do so last year in Euro’s final. It was not supposed to go like this. He was supposed to get more game time, play better, score his world cup goals, make his family even prouder…

Mason started to feel like it was suffocating being in his room, he started to feel like he was trapped since there was only him and his distressing thoughts. So Mason came out of his room and his feet brought him to the basketball court. No one was there, everyone was probably packing up because they were going to leave in the morning.

“It’s very late, Mason, why are you out here?”

The ball had just bounced off the ring and Mason turned around on his heels. She was walking closer, a camera bag hanging on her shoulder.

“I needed some air,” he said as he went to pick up the ball. He dribbled it as he got back to his position, shifting his gaze between the ball and her. “What are you doing?”

“Just picked this up from Paul’s room,” she said, patting her camera bag.

“You guys must have loads to pack.” Mason turned around and took another shot. The ball hit the ring again before it bounced loudly on the ground.

“Yeah… But we’ve been pretty organised, so it’s not hard to pack everything up again.” She walked closer to the wall and Mason noticed her putting her camera bag down as she stood against the wall. She tightened her jacket around her as the chilly breeze blew. “Although we believe we’ve lost a GoPro. Paul’s misplaced it. Thank God he’d removed the memory card.”

“Yeah?” Mason slightly raised his eyebrows at her before quickly looking away. He took another shot and it didn’t go in again. He shook his head, lazily picked up the ball, and just dribbled it aimlessly. He’d been missing all the shots, he didn’t want to embarrass himself even more in front of her.

She’d fallen silent and Mason didn’t dare to look up because he could feel her eyes boring at him. He might find a look of disappointment on her face, or worse, pity—he absolutely didn’t want that. He was feeling like such a big failure already; knowing that he’d failed people he cared about would only make him feel worse.

“Hey, Mase?” She said, but Mason didn’t respond. He did a layup instead; it finally went in. “I know you’re upset but… Don’t get upset for too long, okay?” Her voice sounded so soft. So gentle. “We’re all gutted but you guys have to be proud. You guys put up a good fight, it just wasn’t meant to be.”

Mason let out a heavy sigh as he shook his head, still dribbling. “We kept saying that this is gonna be our time, you know? It honestly felt like it. And I just wished that I could help the team a bit more.”

“Our time will come. Your time will come,” she said, and Mason could tell that she was smiling when she said it. “You still have a long way ahead. And this special squad is only gonna go far, I know it.” She sounded so reassuring, Mason couldn’t help but to look up at her. There was no sign of disappointment or pity on her face; he could only see her subtle smile and kind eyes.

“Thank you,” Mason muttered, offering her his best smile. She nodded and her smile grew bigger. Mason wished he could tell her how pretty her smile looked, or how warm his heart felt right now.

This was their least awkward interaction after what felt like such a long time, quite the opposite from their last. She looked rather relaxed too. Mason was curious more than ever about what had actually happened, why she’d become distant and all that. He’d thought about asking her again but this was a nice moment they were sharing and he didn’t want to ruin it. Maybe he should just forget about everything, he shouldn’t have made it a big deal, maybe she’d been just—

“I do take photos of you, Mason,” she said.. “Just when you’re not looking.”

Mason was about to do another layup. But he stopped on his tracks, he almost stumbled on his own feet. He quickly turned and searched for her face.

“What?”

The chilly breeze blew again and she folded her arms. “Last time you asked why I never take photos of you,” she tried to remind him, even though there was absolutely no need for that because Mason obviously remembered. “Well, I do actually take your photos. Just when you’re not looking and… From far away.”

Mason gulped. “Why?”

“Because I’m just shy and embarrassed? Okay– This will sound so silly,” she chortled. “But you’re my football crush. I’ve been a fan since you made your first England debut. And it’s just weird for me to suddenly… Work with you. It still feels weird even after almost a year.”

Mason gripped the ball on his hands; the tips of his fingers almost turned white. He clenched his jaw as he tried to process her words, his heart started pounding hard in his chest. “So… You have a crush on me?”

She scrunched up her face cutely. “Do you really have to say it out loud? God, it feels so… Embarrassing.”

Mason chuckled. “I’m just trying to get confirmation here.”

She sighed. “I have a Chelsea shirt with your number and name, how about that?”

Mason his stomach flipping and he couldn’t help but to chuckle again out of relief and nervousness. An image flashed on his mind, of her wearing his club shirt with his name on it, and it made his heart flutter.

“Okay, okay,” he said as he approached her, with a huge silly smile on his face. “That’s wonderful, that’s… Wow. It’s actually very good to know that.”

“Really?”

He nodded. “I mean, you must have noticed that I’ve been trying to get your attention, then? Throughout the whole camp?”

She shrugged. A blush was visible on her cheeks. “Of course I do. I’m a girl, a quite sensible one, I always know what’s happening.”

Mason shook his head in disbelief. He threw the ball away and took a few more small steps towards her. “For weeks I’d been thinking that I'd done something wrong.”

“Sorry for making you worry, I really didn’t mean too…”

“Yeah. And it turns out you knew all along that I fancy you.”

Her eyes widened. “You fancy me?”

“You literally just said you’re quite a sensible one.” Mason furrowed his eyebrows. “Why would I try so hard to get your attention if I didn’t. Do you fancy me? Am I a real crush or just a football crush?”

She pursed her lips as she stared at him for a while. Mason was honestly stunned because he’d never seen her looking at him like this before. She was admiring him, taking her time to take him in.

“A real one,” she finally said, her voice just above a whisper.

Mason was washed with the biggest wave of relief—he let out a long sigh, letting out everything he’d been holding in. He’d actually forgotten that he’d been upset because of their loss tonight. This surely mended his broken heart a little and made everything feel less down.

“Well, okay. This is nice,” he commented. He didn’t take his eyes off her. He couldn’t. “Did you know I always use all my chances to look at you? When you’re not looking.”

“I guess I did.” She shrugged. Mason grinned and she giggled.

“Hey, do you know what?” His eyes lit up, sparking a curiosity on her and it was shown by the way her eyebrows lifted up. Mason quickly got the ball that had rolled away. “I’ll do a shot and if it goes in, I get to take you on a date.”

“What if it doesn’t go in?”

“It will, I promise.”

“Go on, then.”

Mason got in position and dribbled the ball. It was at that moment that he realised that his hands were slightly trembling and this was probably stupid, but he didn’t care. She was finally looking at him from up close—he still wanted to impress her. More than ever.

After taking a deep breath and wished for the best, he confidently threw the ball in.

—

i thank you so much if you reach this point because this is a loooooong one! it took me a month to finish this one:') i kept getting stuck but today i suddenly got inspired and was able to finish it! i hope you enjoyed it! reblogs, likes, and comments are always very appreciated!<3

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The night was getting deeper, but she patiently waited for Sonny to come home. She rushed to the door when she heard Sonny’s car pull up. Even though she knew he was okay—she saw those photos of him and Rodrigo after the match, both men had wide smiles plastered on their faces—she couldn’t help but to worry. She had actually asked him to stay home but he insisted on going, saying he needed to watch the last match and see his mates before going away for the world cup.

“Hi. You okay?” She asked, welcoming Sonny with a hug.

“I’m okay. Like I promised, I came home safely. All good. Nothing to worry about.”

“I simply can’t not worry about you.” She hugged him a little bit tighter. After the injury she had been feeling awful every time she had to let Sonny get out of the house. She honestly would prefer to have him stay home so he could always be under her watch.

Sonny led himself to the kitchen as she asked him about how the match had gone, she trailed behind him. He animatedly bragged about how Rodrigo had scored two goals, how the boys had put on a fight. Sonny looked genuinely happy and that gave her a little bit of relief, mostly because he’d been a little bit down lately because of the injury.

“The mood was good. It was nice to get a win before the break. Everyone was happy and— Wait a minute.” Sonny only wanted to get some water at first, but the sight of the dining table caught his eye, so he stopped. “You cooked? Oh, no. I already had dinner, babe.” He turned to her with an apologetic look.

“I know. It’s fine. I just cooked a bit just in case you were hungry,” she shrugged. “Do you want to just take a bath? I’ll run the water.”

Sonny immediately took a seat and picked up a fork. It was already too late for dinner and he really shouldn’t be taking any more carbs today. Though he knew she wouldn’t even get upset if he didn’t eat it, the food she had cooked was still warm and looked very appetising. He couldn’t resist, especially when he knew it was going to be good.

“Baby, this is so good,” he commented as he munch on the food. His eyes sparkled like it always did every time he ate her food, which gave her that warm and fulfilling feeling. He gave her a smile, which was infectious, she smiled too. “I need to have some bites. Please don’t tell my nutritionist.”

She giggled as she ran her hand through his hair. “I won’t. How about the bath? You feel like taking a warm bath before bed?”

A cheeky grin appeared on Sonny’s face, and he nodded.

—

“I feel like it’s my birthday. You’re kind of spoiling me tonight,” Sonny said as he got in the bathtub. The water was turquoise and smelled nice from the bathbomb; his favourite one, he always said that it made him calm and relaxed. “This is really comfortable, innit?”

“You tell me,” she said, pulling up a stool so she could sit near him beside the bathtub. “I think you’re really gonna have a good night's sleep tonight. Watched a fun match, ate good food, end the day with a warm bath…”

“I know. Today was a good day. Almost feels like my birthday because I feel like you’re spoiling me.” Sonny reached for her hand and gave it a light squeeze. “Thank you.”

She shrugged. “It’s not much.”

“No. Thank you for everything. You’ve been taking a really good care of me. I really don’t know what I’d do without you,” Sonny said, staring into her eyes. She knew he meant every word, she could feel how genuine he was being. 

She let out a little sigh as her other hand went to his face. She graced her fingers on his cheek very carefully, still scared to hurt him even though he said that he no longer felt any pain. Sonny seemed to melt into her gentle touch, closing his eyes and slightly leaning his head, wanting more of it. She, on the other hand, felt her heart clenched when she stared at his healing scar.

“I’d do anything to help my baby recover and stay fit. He needs to captain his country at the world cup, remember?” She gave him a reassuring smile. Sonny drew her hand closer to his lips and placed a kiss on it.

—

“Promise me you’ll take care of yourself,” she muttered. The worry was creeping back and it showed in her voice. It was quite a tiring day for her and it was time to get some rest, but she just couldn’t stop thinking. “Listen to your coaches, get enough rest, have fun.”

They were in bed, lying face to face as their hands linked. Both were wearing matching pyjamas, covered by a warm blanket. Sonny was already drifting to sleep and honestly she could easily fall asleep too now, but she still wanted to use the opportunity to just stare at his beautiful face.

Sonny was going to leave in three days for the world cup, they’d be away from each other for a moment. She’d go with his family once the tournament started but they would only have very limited time to see him, so she was determined that she’d make the best out of the next three days with him.

“Are you still listening?”

“Hmmm,” Sonny responded.

“Promise me you won’t get injured again…”

“Can’t promise that. But I’ll try,” he vaguely mumbled.

“Promise me you’ll win the games.”

“I’ll try…”

Her lips perked into a small smile when Sonny opened his sleepy eyes and blinked them slowly a couple of times before meeting hers. “I need you to promise me something too,” he said. He sounded rather serious. “Take care of yourself. You’ve been stressing out so much, so once I depart for the world cup, I want you to take a break, have time for yourself.”

She simply nodded.

“Go have lunch with your best friends, bake some cookies, go shopping, do whatever you want. Okay? Stop worrying me for a second. I’ll be fine. Okay?”

She giggled and shuffled closer to put a kiss on his cheek. “Okay, I promise,” she said, kissing his cheek once again.

“Come here, now.”

Sonny opened his arms and she fell right into his embrace. He hugged her tight and caressed her back, kissing her on her forehead. She put her palm against her chest, feeling it heaving up and down, feeling his heartbeat. The conversation eventually ended and it didn’t take long until they both fell asleep. She fell asleep with a smile on her face, knowing that this had been a good day, for the first time in what felt like forever. She didn’t mind that it had been rough lately, but all that matters was that Sonny was happy again and getting his spirit back. And maybe she had to give herself a little credit for that.

—

thank you for everyone who has been reading my sonny fics, i really appreciate it🥺 i hope you enjoy them!

i hope you liked this one too. i currently take requests so you can send them in! likes, comments, and reblogs are highly appreciated. thank you!💖

“This arrived a couple days ago. I assume that you didn’t receive one, since you still looked… Fine and normal. You would’ve been exactly like this if you knew,” Ben said to Sonny, who looked like he was in a trance. “I’m sorry, Sonny, but Joey, my wife, and I thought you should know about this.”

Sonny gritted his teeth, eyes still locked into the envelope. His heart started beating so loud in his ears.

It was a beautiful invitation, Sonny had to admit. Papers in her favourite colour with gold letters, decorated with a ribbon in a darker shade, simple and sweet. It was just so her. But Sonny hated it, because it wasn’t his name beside hers on that wedding invitation.

“Look. I don’t approve of what you did to her. But I think you deserve another chance,” Ben continued as he leaned a bit more forward. Sonny still hadn’t moved an inch. “She’s a good person, Sonny. As her friend, I want the best for her. And I think that what she truly deserves is you. The best version of you.”

“But, Ben, she’s getting married.” Sonny said, stating the obvious, as if he was trying to convince himself that it was true. He leaned back on his chair, looking completely defeated. “See? She invited you and Joey, but not me. She doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore. She’s made up her mind.”

“You still have the chance to change her mind. This is your very last chance.”

Sonny had ruined her life once. As much as he didn’t want to see the love of his life marrying someone that’s not him, wouldn’t he be the biggest prick on planet Earth if he did it all over again?

“Do you still love her?”

Sonny shifted uncomfortably in his seat and he let out a little chortle, his shoulders shrugged a little. He finally looked up and met Ben’s sharp eyes. “You know the answer. But obviously, she’s moved on. I can’t– I can’t do anything about it.”

“You can. I told you, this is your very last chance,” Ben said, emphasising the words so Sonny would really listen to him. “This is what I hate about you, mate.” Ben shook his head and let out a quite exasperated sigh. “You’re such a fucking coward when it comes to her. Haven’t you learned? Why can’t you just commit to the person and the relationship you want more than anything in your life? Do I really need to say this out loud for you?”

Ben wasn’t even being harsh, he was just stating the truth. Sonny’s relationship with her did not work out because he’d been an insecure coward. He’d made her go through everything but then he pushed her away and let her go just like that when she said that she wanted something more.

After the big break up, it hadn’t taken Sonny long until he realised that he’d made the biggest mistake in his life—mainly because Ben, Joey, and Dele reprimanded him for what he’d done—but even then, he’d been too scared to give her a proper explanation and apology. Everything had gotten too late because a few months later, Sonny heard from Ben that she was dating someone else. And it seemed like things had gotten way too late again for him now.

“Sorry, I don’t… I don’t know. I need time,” Sonny said in a timid voice. Trains of thoughts were clashing in his mind, and he didn’t like the uneasiness that had started to wrap him. “I mean, we don’t even know if she still loves me.”

That was his biggest question right now. She’d moved on from him rather fast, and it had not even been a year but she’d already decided to marry someone else. She obviously had forgotten everything about their past.

Ben let out another heavy sigh. “Believe me, she still does. It’s actually quite easy to see.” Ben suddenly stood up and tugged down the hem of his sweater, Sonny’s eyes followed his movement. “Sorry, I need to go. Promised my wife I’d pick her up from work. But, hey, if you need any help, don’t hesitate to give me a call.”

Sonny slightly nodded before he dropped his gaze back to the wedding invitation.

“Sonny, I’m your best friend too. I want the best for you too, that’s why I’m doing this. I do think that you two are meant to be together.” Ben placed a hand on Sonny’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “But you will remain as her one fucking stupid ex-boyfriend for the rest of her life, unless you do something about it. And she’ll be a Mrs…” Ben paused, picked up the invitation from the table, and scanned it. “Miller. She’ll be Mrs. Miller in less than six weeks.”

Sonny visualised her first name and the groom’s last name in his mind, and the new name started to ring in his head. He wasn’t kidding if he said that he was getting a bit nauseous because of it.

“Go, Ben, don’t make your wife wait,” Sonny said as he looked up at his best friend and gave him a small sheepish smile. Ben patted his shoulder once more, before he said goodbye and left Sonny alone, with a completely conflicted heart and mind.

—

“You’re insane. Oh God, Sonny, you’re absolutely fucking crazy, are you out of your mind??”

Sonny lost count on how many times the combinations of those words—crazy, insane, out of your mind—had come out from her mouth for the past half an hour. He agreed, though, he was crazy for doing this. It made her really upset and angry, he’d never seen her like that before. Her sweet and lovely side was nowhere to be seen and honestly, Sonny didn’t blame her at all.

“You can’t just show up at my door and ask me for the impossible, Sonny. You– You never even tried to get me back, you never even tried to reach out after we broke up.”

“You were already dating him, I couldn’t suddenly come back, could I?”

“And you think that you can come back now? When there’s already a ring on my finger?” She sneered as she held up her hand and showed him the big shiny ring. “You had three months before I met him. But you never texted, you never called.”

“I’m sorry.” That was all Sonny could say. He’d given her a thousand of it today. He wanted her to know how sorry he was about everything—about the things he did and did not do.

“You’re lucky my fiancé is in Paris right now, he’d probably punch you in the face if he saw you here,” she said with a calmer tone. She was standing near the window with both hands on her hips. From the kitchen island where Sonny was leaning himself against, you could see the backyard outside and the purplish sky outside as the sun was about to set. “I actually really want to punch you in the face right now. God.”

She’d been pacing back and forth, but she’d stopped and was now looking directly at him, with eyes full of anger and hurt. Sonny gulped, but didn’t make the lump on his throat go away. He felt so guilty, and now hurt from seeing her looking hurt. Honestly, Sonny would actually let her punch and hit him as much as she wanted, if it could help her to forgive him and take him back.

“Sonny, you can’t just come in here and tell me not to get married.” Her voice was a bit shaky. A little bit of tears started to pool in her eyes, but she took a sharp deep breath to shake them off. “After breaking my heart like that and ten months of silence, you can’t just show up and expect me to take a step back again.”

“Have you? Have you really moved on? I’m sorry but… I think what we had was special. I can’t even forget about you even a little bit.”

She lightly chortled and shrugged. “I don’t think we don’t have to forget to move on,” she answered. “I mean, I’m lucky, I guess. I found someone who makes me see forward, and show me things out there, show me what I can have. Someone who makes it feel less painful when I think about things from the past.”

Once again Sonny felt his heart dropping to the pit of his stomach. He hated to get reminded that he’d been replaced. That man was her future now and he was merely a dark shadow haunting her.

“Do you love him?”

Her eyes slightly widened. Sonny couldn’t believe it himself that he’d just blurted out the question, but he needed to be brave today to get answers. She chortled again as she folded her arms in front of her chest.

“Of course, I do. I’m going to marry him, Sonny,” she said. “Josh loves me. He treats me right, we understand each other. And he wants to commit to our relationship, that’s the most important thing. He’s not perfect, but… He’s always sure of what he wants. He wants me, and he wants to always work things out between us. He doesn’t give up on me, or on us. So if you or other people are wondering why I’m suddenly marrying him, that’s why.”

Basically, that man was everything that Sonny was not. That man gave her everything Sonny didn’t. And Sonny once again was reminded that he was a complete fool.

When they were dating, Sonny had been so insecure. He was not a ‘normal’ person who lived a ‘normal’ life. His job demanded so much of him, so at some point in their two-year relationship, he felt like he had become a man who couldn’t give and provide the things she deserved.

Sonny hadn’t been having the best season back then, he’d picked up a few injuries and hadn’t been performing well on the pitch. It reflected on his life off the pitch. He felt like he hadn’t been able to give her love and security. He couldn’t protect her himself, or be there for her when she needed him in rough days, or even give her his time for a little date.

So that was why, when she suddenly blurted out the words “maybe we should just get married” in their conversation one night, Sonny panicked and let his insecurity and fears eat him up. Even before they dated, Sonny knew that she dreamed of being married and building a family, and he felt like he couldn’t give her that anytime soon. So he slowly pushed her away and shut her out, which led to the break up.

The silence in the room was deafening. The words “I love you” were at the tip of Sonny’s tongue, but he knew it wouldn’t be enough to win back her heart. Sonny was not someone who likes to give promises; he didn’t want to convince her to get back with him with sweet words and empty promises. He was actually there right now just as someone who loved her more than anything in his life.

“We were fine, Sonny. It wasn’t perfect, but we were working things out, weren’t we?” she finally said, breaking the silence. “I was a bit stressed out, a bit upset because things were hard for us, but I was fine with it. Because I know since day one, that life with you will not be easy sometimes. And honestly, I liked it. I liked what we had, I wanted that hard life with you.”

Sonny listened to her carefully, as he felt his heart beating hard on his chest. Their eyes were locked into each other, and Sonny swore that tonight he wouldn’t look away from those beautiful eyes that she had.

“And I’m sorry, maybe at that time it wasn’t the right time to mention marriage. But I loved to imagine a future with you.” A faint smile grew on her face and her tone got a tad happier. “Being your wife, building a family, planning for life after your retirement one day… I imagined all that. You’d be a coach and I’d still come to watch the match even though you don’t play anymore. And you’d always be famous so we’d always have to have bodyguards with us when we go out on sneaky dates, even when we’re nearly forty. Maybe a couple of Son juniors would tag along…”

This time she didn’t stop the tears from falling from her eyes. And Sonny didn’t know what had gotten into him, but he walked towards her, and when he was close enough, he pulled her into his arms. At first he thought that she was going to reject him and push him, but a moment later he felt her melting into his embrace. Her body shook as she silently cried, and he let her as he kept hugging her.

“I want all of that for us. I want everything you wanted for us,” Sonny whispered to her ear.

“No. You can’t do this to me, Sonny, you can’t,” she mumbled to his shoulder in between her cries.

“I’m sorry, I have to. You’re the love of my life, I can’t let you marry someone else.” His voice started shaking as he felt the urge to cry. The feelings were getting overwhelming for him—the feeling of having her in her arms again, the feeling of possibly losing her forever. “I know you still love me. You feel the same, I can feel it. We belong to each other. Please.”

Sonny felt her gently pushing him, so he reluctantly loosened his arms.

“But I’m getting married in five weeks! We’ve paid for everything, the invitations are out, and I’ve just booked flight tickets for my parents, for God’s sake.” She looked up so she could clearly look at his face. “And I can’t break Josh’s heart, Sonny. He’s so fucking in love with me, it’s going to crush him.”

“But I’m the one you truly love.” It came out as a statement, not a question, because he was sure it was the truth. Ben was right, it was easy to see that she still loved him. She still looked at him the same way, touched him the same way. The connection between them was still very much there. “You loving him doesn’t stop you from wanting me. Him loving you doesn’t stop your pain of not being with me. I know because I feel it too.”

“Please, come back to me,” Sonny continued. “Life with me is still going to be hard. I hate making promises but I will now. I’ll believe more in myself. I’ll let you be there for me, for us. I’ll listen to you, I’ll tell you when I need you, I won’t push you away. I’ll give everything for us, no matter how hard things are.”

“You know it’s easier said than done…”

“I know. But please, give me a second chance to try. I can do everything. What I can’t do is see you with anyone else. Please,” Sonny begged, as he placed his hands on her waist and gave it a light squeeze. “Don’t marry him and get back to me.”

She let out a long sigh as her hands travelled to the back of his head. She caressed his hair like she’d used to, so gentle, so calming. “Oh, Sonny…” She said. Sonny closed his eyes, feeling himself melting into her touch. “You’re the best thing that I’ve ever had…”

Sonny’s heart skipped a beat. But to be the best thing she’d ever had was not enough for him. He wanted her more than anything, more than he’d ever been. He maybe still had a bit of insecurities and fears left deep down inside him, but he’d willing to fight them for her.

Today he’d presented her, maybe still not the best, but surely the most real and honest version of him, that he hadn’t shown her in a very long time. And if at the end of the night he rejected her and told him to go away, he honestly didn’t know what he’d do with his life.

—

“You ready for this?” Joey asked. They were on a balcony, looking down to the aisle and altar in the garden. The big day had come and Sonny had never felt so nervous in his life before—not for any North London derbies, not even for that Champions League final.

“Yeah,” Sonny simply shrugged as he took a sip from the glass of sparkling water he’d been holding. “Looks a bit cloudy today, innit? I hope it’s not going to rain.”

“Weather forecast says it’s going to get sunny in the next hour, so everything’s going to be fine,” Ben said from the bench he was sitting on. “However, I feel like the rain’s going to pour down from your eyes.”

“That is so lame,” Joey turned on his heels to look at Ben. Sonny just let out a chortle.

“Tell me he’s not going to weep, though. Look at him now, he looks like he could bawl his eyes out in any second.”

“You’re the worst friend. Sonny, isn’t he the worst friend?” Joey, who happened to stand between the two men, shifted his gaze back and forth. “What Sonny needs the most today is calm and comfort, and you’re not helping at all.”

“Well, I’ve helped a lot. He wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for me,” Ben defended himself. To be fair, Ben deserved some of the credits, so Sonny had to agree–he nodded his head in agreement. “See?”

Joey shook his head. “I do think I deserve some credits too, but whatever,” he commented. “I’m a bit hungry. Anyone wants to look for a quick bite?” He glanced at both men again.

“Yeah, I’ll go with you,” Ben said. But Sonny shook his head this time.

“Nah, I’m good. I’ll stay here.”

After giving a pat on his shoulder, Joey left with Ben trailing behind him, leaving Sonny alone.

Today was going to be a life-changing one for Sonny. He was still processing his feelings and everything that was happening, and he was grateful that he had Ben and Joey who’d always been there for him, because he didn’t think he could go through this alone.

Sonny had made his mistakes. He could only regret it forever, but he’d realised that the most important thing was to appreciate what he had now. Everything that had happened had shaped him to be the man he was today, which was better than who he’d been yesterday. 

Sonny was going to see her in an hour, in the most beautiful wedding dress that had ever been made—but it was mostly because she was the one who was wearing it. She’d be the most beautiful person on this island, and she’d walk that aisle gracefully, with her most gorgeous smile plastered on her face. And Sonny was going to be there witnessing it all.

And just maybe, by watching her being the happiest person in the world today, he could finally let those regrets go. Maybe it would be easier for him to forgive himself and take the next step. And finally, he could be the man that he wanted for her.

—

so...what do you think happened at the ending? do you think sonny is going to marry her or he just got invited to her wedding with josh? were ben and joe there at the venue as his groomsmen or were they all just guests at her wedding?🥹

i haven’t written in like 4 months and i thought that i’ve completely lost the ability to write, so i was surprised that i managed to write this. i hope you’re still interested in my writings because i might make a short comeback!😆

thank you so much for reading!🌟

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Trent’s stomach did the uneasiest dip. He lost his focus in an instant, it went chaotic inside his head. He wasn’t supposed to read those—he only meant to use the phone to change the song—but he did and he read them thrice to make sure that he saw it right. Trent looked so dazed and upset for the rest of the shoot, at some point Jordan needed to ask if he was okay. He made up an excuse, saying he might have eaten something wrong at lunch.

With a worried look painted all over her face, she asked the same question after the shoot had ended. He must’ve been acting really strange and God knows how the video would turn out but he couldn’t care less. There was a more important matter that he was already dying to get out of his chest. But he still had a microphone on him so he gave her the same answer. He excused himself and quickly left the room.

—

Obviously, he didn’t do well at training. He had hoped that focusing on training would make him forget about those messages but he was wrong. He kept making mistakes, his teammates yelled at him a lot but he didn’t even have the will to defend himself.

Training was done for the day. After taking a brisk shower and doing some more contemplating, Trent decided to look for her. 

He was just walking around trying to look casual, and luckily he caught her walking to the first team’s restaurant, so he followed suit. She stopped at the fruit bar and was getting herself a bowl of fruit salad. Trent didn’t even bother to announce his presence and copied what she was doing.

“You okay?” If earlier she was worried when she asked him the question, this time she asked with a flat and dull tone.

“Yeah.” He simply shrugged.

She took a few seconds to stare at him before she slightly shook her head. “I don’t think you’re okay.”

“Why do you think so?” Trent stared back.

She let out a sigh. “Because you read the texts on my phone. The ones from my ex,” she muttered before leaving him to search for a table. Trent felt his heart slowly sinking.

She chose a table in the corner of the room to give herself—and Trent—a little bit of privacy. Everyone knew they were friends so it wouldn’t be odd for anyone to see them sitting together. There was barely anyone in the restaurant too since it was out of meal time, so even if the conversation they were about to have got a bit tense somehow, it would be safe from anyone’s ears.

“I didn’t mean to read them,” Trent said. “I was looking at the screen and they just popped out.”

She was silently munching on her salad. She looked sour, but Trent couldn’t quite figure whether it’s more of sadness, anger, or something else.

“Is he reaching out to you again?” Trent asked. “Has he been bothering you? What is he asking you?”

“He’s just… Been messaging me. Saying sorry and that he… Regrets everything. He’s just saying everything he’d said before,” she answered hesitantly.

“And that he’s still in love with you?” He remembered the exact line that still made his blood boil every time he thought about it. He actually felt sick. “Is he trying to get you back? After everything he’s done to you?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t really been responding to him.” She shrugged. “I have work to do, I don’t really have time to think about it.”

“Well, that’s good, maybe– Maybe you shouldn’t. If– If you feel bothered maybe you should just block him or something, don’t give him access to you.”

She shifted in her chair uncomfortably. She didn’t answer, taking a sip of her glass of water instead. “Trent, I understand your concern. I really do. But I can handle this, okay?” She said, staring at him. “I’m sorry, but I would really appreciate it if you let me handle this myself.”

Trent instantly fell silent, clenching his jaw shut. It sounded like she was trying to put him in his place; he certainly felt so. He dropped his gaze as he felt a pang of guilt about the way he was acting. Maybe he’d actually crossed the line.

His reactions and actions weren’t without any reasons. They hadn’t only been going to casual dates—they’d actually talked about going for a more serious relationship. Work had to come first at the moment for both of them but they were slowly and surely going there. There was some sort of commitment between them, hence all his concerns and worries surfacing when her ex-boyfriend came back to the picture.

But whether Trent liked it or not, her ex-boyfriend was none of his business. He had no right to meddle with it.

“You’re right. I’m sorry,” Trent mumbled. “I was– I was just worried about you. I don’t want you to– I’m hoping that you won’t give him a chance to hurt you again.” He nervously fumbled out the words before meeting her gaze again. “He hurt you, he’d taken so much from you.”

“And I’m the last person who’s gonna forget about that.” She gave him a sheepish smile. “I need you to trust me a bit more, Trent.”

“Okay.” Trent nodded. “Yeah. Right. I just want you to know that I’m here, so… I’m right here for you. Please don’t let him in again.”

She was silent for a moment. But then she made a bold move to quickly reach out for Trent’s hand across the table and give it a squeeze, making Trent’s heart jump. “I’ve made my choice. And I know it’s gonna be the best not just for me, but for both of us,” she said as she gazed fondly at him. Trent was her choice.

Trent felt like he should’ve known better. He’d been friends with her for years and she was someone he’d always trusted. Surely, after the past couple of months of knowing her more and growing a special relationship with her, he shouldn’t have thought that she would suddenly change her mind about them, not to mention how she’d stated that she’d closed the chapter of her life that involved her ex.

“Of course. Yeah. I’m so sorry,” Trent said, still holding her hand. He would’ve loved to hold her hand longer but someone was coming so she needed to let it go. “But you get me, yeah, why I’m kinda mad? Not at you, obviously. It’s just– The audacity of that man to reach out to you again?” Trent was getting on it again, but she shot him a warning look. “Okay, okay. Sorry, I’ll stop. But if he bothered you too much and you feel like you need me, I’m always here.”

“Yeah, I know.” She smiled, but then suddenly, it turned to a small chuckle. “This whole situation is really confusing but I’m not gonna lie, I like seeing you being protective. I’m pretty convinced that you hate him more than I do.”

“Told you I’d beat him up if I ever saw his face.”

“Okay, calm down now.”

Trent couldn’t help but to chuckle too. He picked up the fork and started eating the fruits that he wasn’t really supposed to have—his nutritionist had instructed him to cut out snacking. They fell into a comfortable silence as they just looked at each other.

—

Trent decided to hang around the training ground for a little bit, getting questioned by some of the staff and the last ones of his teammates on why he was still there. He made up an excuse, saying that he would need to pick his mum up in a bit and he had nothing to do until then. But Hendo gave Trent a secret knowing look, because the captain understood that he was actually just waiting for her to get off from work; Hendo knew about the two of them. 

A minute after he noticed her walking down the main stairs and heading out, Trent bid his goodbyes to the staff he was talking to, and also headed out to the parking lot. He put his hoodie on and it wasn’t because the sky was gloomy and it looked like it was going to rain. Trent walked into his car, hanging his head low, and he could see that she was getting on hers which was parked just right behind his.

But Trent didn’t stop at his car. He walked past it, walked over the curb, and knocked twice on her passenger’s seat window. He opened the door and he slid himself in.

“What are you doing?!” She asked, a mixture of shock and puzzled look was painted all over her face.

Trent answered by grabbing the side of her face and leaning in to connect their lips. He instantly felt electricity rushing on his veins, his heart pounding hard on his chest—it felt absolutely thrilling but also relieving in some ways. He kissed her sweetly, but a little bit desperate, with his thumb gently stroking her cheek. He stopped for a second before giving her the last peck and trailed a few kisses on her cheeks and jaw. He then quickly pulled himself back.

She was definitely too stunned to speak. Her eyes were wide, but Trent knew that it wasn’t because she was mad—it was because she was absolutely flustered. 

“Sorry. Needed that. Really needed that.”

“Oh my God, Trent! What if someone saw that??”

“What if someone saw you holding my hand back there?” He casually said as his hand reached for the door handle. He opened it and swiftly got out. She rolled down the window once the door was shut again.

She put a palm against her forehead. “You’re just… Insane.” She shook her head in disbelief.

“Told you I needed that,” Trent said in a more serious tone. He meant it. And he hoped she understood why he needed that. The thing with her ex had stressed him out pretty bad today and he was just aching for some intimacy with her.

“Okay. Now can you please go?” She urged.

“Okay, okay,” he chortled. “See you tomorrow?”

“Well, I’ll get here before you do just like any other day.”

Trent gave her a playful smile, took a good look at her still flushed face, before he walked away. He tapped the roof of her car, saying, “I’ll call you tonight.” He didn’t hear an answer but he would do it anyway and he knew she’d pick up.

She drove away as he got into his car and started it. Trent gripped his hands tight on the steering wheel and it was when he finally realised how hard his heart was beating. He chuckled to himself, shaking his head slightly as he turned on the radio. 

Maybe Trent shouldn’t have to worry about her ex. Trent was the one treating her right and they were pretty much together. Everything had been going in the right way and it would only be going that way as long as they trusted each other—that was what this relationship had been built on after all. She’d chosen him and Trent would hold on to that. He would just shake off what had happened today, and maybe think about something more important, like how he’d ask her to make their relationship official one day.

—

inspired by this video where hendo reads some messages on the staff’s phone about their pregnant missus and interrupts the filming😆 i was rewatching it then got inspired! hope you enjoyed it<3 likes, reblogs, and comments are always much appreciated! thank you!

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Maybe she should’ve prepared herself for this Calvin Klein photoshoot. She’d been so excited when he signed the contract, but she’d only realised it just now that it meant the whole world got to see him being that incredibly hot.

She was curled up on the sofa in the living room when Sonny came home. He announced to the whole house saying, “Baby, I’m home!” which she answered with a low “I’m here…” hoping he could figure out where she was.

The TV was on. She’d put on a random cooking channel but of course, she hadn’t been watching it because her mind was occupied by other things. Yes, yes, the photoshoot. She was getting annoyed and it showed.

“Hi, baby. You okay?” Sonny could notice it immediately, the long face and the pout.

“Yeah…”

Sonny knew she wasn’t okay. She didn’t even bother to look up at him.

“Bad day?” he guessed. He approached her, leaned down when she was close enough to put a kiss on top of her head. He then sat beside her and naturally placed a hand on her thigh.

“No, it was fine… How was your day?”

“Good, good… Training was fun today. Talking about the tactics is stressing me out but we’re making progress.” 

She only responded with low hum as she reached for the TV remote at the coffee table, her thumb hovering over it before she decided to randomly surf the TV channels. It was getting awkwardly quiet and from the corner of her eyes, she could see that Sonny was eyeing her.

“I’m gonna take a shower,” Sonny said, trying to draw out a reaction from her. But she once again only hummed and didn’t budge at all.

“Baby…” Sonny shifted on the sofa, now facing her. He took her free hand and held it. “This is your chance to tell me what’s going on before I go to the showers.”

“It’s nothing, it’s… It’s stupid,” she said as she slightly shook her head. “You’ll just laugh at me if I tell you.”

“I promise I won’t.”

She finally turned to him, meeting his eyes. He looked so innocent, confused as to why she was being weird, even worried if he’d done something wrong. She immediately felt uneasy being under his gentle gaze, almost embarrassed even though Sonny didn’t even know what was going on.

“Those photos from the Calvin Klein photoshoot…” She started, but paused in an instant, giving herself a chance to bail out.

“They’re good, aren’t they?”

“Yeah, very good. But that’s the thing.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

She looked away, let go of his hand, and grabbed a pillow. She hugged it for some comfort. “You look too good, babe. And the whole world gets to see that. And I– just– I don’t know. I’m just annoyed about it.”

“Are you jealous?” Sonny got it right with one guess.

Well, he knew her. She was a bit of the jealousy type. Sonny understood, he couldn’t blame her. South Korean national captain, Spurs legend, ambassadors for so many brands, he’d gotten himself a huge following. Eyes were always on him. People would always be ready to admire him, adore him, and literally drool over him.

“Maybe I am,” she shrugged, trying to make it look like it wasn’t a big deal. It really wasn’t, though, that was why she was reluctant to talk about it. “I told you it’s stupid, just forget it.”

“No, no, it’s not stupid,” Sonny shook his head. “You have the right to be jealous, you’re my wife.”

She sighed and turned to him again. “I know, but it’s your job. I’m not supposed to be annoyed about it, but…” She cupped Sonny’s face and pouted even more. “Sometimes I just hate that I have to share you with the rest of the world.”

Sonny matched her pout and he slouched his shoulders, signs that her words were affecting him.

“Especially when you were being that sexy. It’s truly unfair,” she finished off.

Sonny couldn’t help but to chuckle, making her pout quickly turn into a small shy smile. “See? I know you’d laugh! It’s stupid, like I said, it’s stupid.” She playfully slapped him on his shoulder.

“No, I mean, I’m glad that you’re jealous. If you’re not, then I must have done something wrong.”

“That’s the problem, you’re too handsome and too good at being a model. And all the ladies want you. That’s annoying.” She rolled her eyes, which earned more chuckles from Sonny.

Sonny circled his arm around her shoulders and pulled her in for a kiss. “You know I’m yours. I belong to you. People only see what we want them to see, remember?” He said after he pulled away. She rested her head on his shoulder and he gently caressed her hair. “Maybe I should try to tone it down a little bit next time. Try to make it not too sexy.”

“That’s impossible, you’re naturally sexy,” she sighed. “Maybe you should just terminate the contract, you know? Can’t you just cancel it?”

Sonny laughed and this time she joined in. She realised how silly she was being. She and Sonny had talked so many times about it before—when he was out there, he belonged to everyone who supported him so he always needed to do his best but when he was at home, he belonged only to her. But still, she couldn’t help but to feel annoyed when the rest of the world got to ‘have’ her husband, especially when she wanted him all for herself.

“I think that is not possible,” he responded.

She sighed, detaching himself from him. “I know, just forget it. I’m just being silly.”

Sonny smiled and ruffled her hair, staring at her like he really adored her, which was only the truth. “You’re so cute when you’re jealous,” he said as he stood up from the sofa. “Okay, I’m going to take a shower. Do you want to join me?” He offered his hand. She rolled her eyes but took his hand anyway.

Guess she didn’t really have to be jealous. After all, the rest of the world didn’t have this privilege and some others. These were only hers.

—

anon wanted me to write anything based on that photoshoot and this is what i came up with. hope you enjoyed that!

“Manners, Jude. That’s rude,” Jordan whacked Jude on the back of his head and the lad acted hurt. Jordan then extended his hand to shake her hand and they both introduced themselves to each other. “I’m Jordan. Pleasure to finally meet you.”

“Finally? Sorry, uh… John’s mentioned me before?” The shy look that had been on her face was replaced by a look of surprise.

“He’d just been moaning about how the tea here doesn’t match his taste. Man loves his tea, doesn’t he?” Jordan glanced at John and for a second John thought that there was a mischievous look in his eyes. “He kept mentioning a name to Kyle, saying that this person makes the best tea and he missed it. Kyle thought that he actually missed the person though, not the tea.”

John shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “Oh, come on. You need to go that far?”

Jordan and Jude got the same triumphant smile on their faces—John sighed in defeat and she let out a nervous giggle. Fortunately, the two lads were kind enough to let it go.

It wasn’t until they left that John found the courage to look at her. She just stood there biting her lips, her cheeks looked more rosy than before. John felt more embarrassed knowing that she was embarrassed. He was definitely going to give Jude some lessons later, and maybe, bring Dave the cat close to Jordan so Dave could give him a little scare.

“I’m sorry,” John apologised, running a nervous hand on his hair. “They can be like that sometimes.”

“It’s fine, John. I’m actually happy to see that you guys are getting along so well.”

“Yeah, imagine what I have to put up with every day.”

John caught her smile before he quickly looked away, mostly because he still felt embarrassed. They both fell silent and John could feel that it was suddenly getting slightly awkward. This was only normal, but it really wouldn’t be awkward if she was truly just a friend.

But she was never only a friend to John. He adored her—if he was asked to be honest right now, he’d say that he was really in love with her. She was the one he thought about when he woke up in the morning, the one he always wanted to tell Kyle about, the one who occupied his mind when he wasn’t thinking about football. It had been almost a year since things started blooming between them, but John had always been holding back because he knew she wasn’t looking for a relationship yet—she’d just gotten out of a serious relationship that didn’t end well—and he respected that.

“Ugh…I actually hate every time this happens, you know. This… Awkward moment.” John turned to her with slightly furrowed eyebrows, but she didn’t look back at him; she was looking far into the empty pitch. “It’s just like, funny, how everyone is surprised every time we introduce each other as friends. Like, which part of it is really hard to believe?”

John let out a nervous chuckle, unsure of how to respond to that. For some reason, he agreed. But he could also actually give her plenty of reasons right now why no one would buy it.

It was the way they looked at each other, the way they behaved around each other, and treated each other. There was something different, something special between them that was so noticeable.

“But they’re right, though.” She sighed, finally looking back at John. Her voice was low but loud enough for John to hear.

“About what?”

“About us. We’re kind of… More than friends. It’s always been that way.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah. You don’t think so?”

John shrugged. “No, sure. Sure, I do.”

John’s heart rate accelerated. All this time he’d always tried to convince himself that she felt the same way like he did—that there was something special between them—and now he’d just gotten the confirmation for it.

“Right. I mean, like, I kinda know that you’ve been giving me space, but… I feel like I’m ready to share that space with someone else.”

John couldn’t believe that they were having this conversation right here, right now. He quickly scanned his eyes around and thankfully everyone was busy with their own families and friends; his parents were engaged in a conversation with Ramsdale’s parents. John turned on his seat, facing her. He stared at her beautiful eyes and he could feel that there was something slightly different in the way she looked at him.

“Well… If you want to be more than friends, I’m up for it.”

She scoffed and then laughed, drawing a grin from John. She shook her head and stared back at John with what he believed as a fond gaze.

“That’s a very lame way to ask me to be your girlfriend, John Stones.”

“But you get the point. I can’t really take you on a date and bring you flowers now, can I?” His gaze then shifted to her hand and he confidently took it in his hand, giving it a light caress. “I promise I’ll take you on a date when we get home.”

She nodded. “Fine, okay. Uhh, I think it’s time for you to go?” They both looked around and saw his teammates started leaving. It was about time for them to go back to the hotel. “You go, then. Please pet Dave for me?”

John smiled. “Yeah, sure,” he said as they both stood up. He pulled her into a tight, warm hug and he wished that he could spend a little bit more time with her. He knew he would already miss her once he hit the dressing room. “Can I kiss you?” he whispered in her ears.

“Sure. You okay with the cameras?”

“I’m gonna make it real quick.”

“Okay.”

With one swift motion, John let her go from his embrace and gave her a quick peck on her lips; his stomach flipped when their lips met. She was rather stunned when he’d done it, a shy look was painted all over her face. She couldn’t contain the happiness so she laughed and John laughed with her.

“Okay, then. Call me when you get back?” John asked.

She nodded. John then said goodbye to her and his parents.

Everything had happened so quickly. John had just started to process everything when he walked down the tunnel. His heart was comfortably pounding in his chest and if Picks saw him right now, he’d definitely say “You look like an idiot, why are you smiling like that?”. He’d gotten the win and the girl, you’d understand why he was smiling like that.

“Here’s the thing, John.”

John felt an arm around his shoulder. It was Jude again. He looked serious this time.

“Friends don’t really kiss each other on the lips, you know,” Jude said.

John rolled his eyes and shrugged Jude’s arm off. He gave Jude a look and started to quicken his pace. “Well, that’s the thing. We’re not really friends anymore.”

Jude stopped on his track and he dropped his jaw. John wished he could have taken a picture because the boy was absolutely stunned.

“Wait— What do you mean??” He said, and John saw realisation slowly hit him. “Nah, you didn’t, mate! You didn’t!!”

John laughed in satisfaction and ran off before Jude started chasing him.

—

world cup is over but i still have a couple world cup-themed imagines, i hope you don’t mind!

i enjoyed writing this one, and it’s always fun to bring on the other players~ i hope you liked it! likes, comments, reblogs, and feedback are always appreciated!💖

She had taken a leave from work and had booked the earliest flight she could find to London. She had travelled far and flown hundreds of miles—she’d only had restless sleep on the plane—but she was still very determined to go straight to Spurs’ stadium. She wanted to see Sonny play. She was making an effort.

They were on halftime break when she arrived. Emily, Ben’s wife, welcomed her in the family lounge with a big hug. The first thing she said to Emily was expressions of gratitude for willing to help her tonight.

“You sure you don’t want to go back to our place before dinner? We can go now and still make it in time,” Emily asked her, looking worried because she actually did look like a total mess right now. She had tried to freshen up earlier but not even her best concealer could hide those tired eyes.

“No, I’m okay. I want to see him play,” she answered. “I probably should make sure that our reservation at the restaurant is really secured.”

“Okay. Do you want some tea? Let me make you a cup of tea, yeah?”

She smiled and nodded. “That would be lovely, Emily, thank you.” She felt Emily giving her shoulder a light squeeze as she left, leaving her to make a call and run over her plan for the surprise dinner tonight.

—

She and Sonny had had an argument before the world cup. But somehow they’d just put it aside because he needed to be focused for the big tournament. They had been barely talking since. Even after the tournament had ended, she hadn’t heard anything from him at all and she had been hesitant to reach out.

“If you still want this relationship, then you must understand that I can’t be the only one making efforts.”

She remembered his words from the argument. The long distance between them was always the biggest issue. Not long after their first anniversary, she’d accepted a job abroad so for the past year they’d been living in different countries, different time-zones.

At first it was fine. But after some miscommunications, unhonesty, and lack of communication that they’d never really resolve and sometimes not even acknowledge, it became not fine. The problems had all mounted up and both of them had ended up hurting each other.

But she had had more than enough time for herself to think—to figure out where and why the downfall happened, to understand herself, and try to put herself in Sonny's shoes. She had realised that he wasn’t wrong when he said she wasn’t really making an effort. She had found the courage to admit that she hadn’t been the best partner for him.

She still loved him. And this relationship was worth fighting for. Those were the conclusions she’d gotten from her sleepless nights where she pondered about everything. With the hope that he felt the same way, she went the extra mile to fly out to where he was and try to save their relationship, reminding her that she’d used to do these extra miles to win his heart, when things had been so much simpler between them.

A couple of days ago, she’d reached out to Emily and Ben to ask for a favour. To invite Sonny to eat out and she would surprise him there. The couple, being the kind people and good friends that they were—saying that they believed that every relationship would have rough bumps and that she and Sonny deserved a chance to fix everything up—agreed to help.

She arrived at the restaurant before Sonny and the couple. She waited in the private VIP room that she’d booked. She kept shifting uncomfortably in her chair and checking her watch once every two or three minutes. She was only going to meet her own boyfriend, yet she felt ridiculously uneasy and nervous. Mostly because she knew this could either go very right or very wrong.

After what felt like forever, her phone suddenly buzzed on the table, making her heart jump. It was a message from Emily.

We’re here

She quickly stood up and went over to the mirror, making sure she looked decent. She’d had time to change into a better pair of clothes and put on more makeup; she wanted to look pretty for Sonny. It reminded her of the old days, where she would do anything to look at least presentable, because she knew that Sonny was always in public’s eyes and she wanted to look like a good pair for him.

She sat back down just in time before the door opened. Emily and Ben entered the room. She put on a smile on her face, eyes searching for the figure she was dying to see, who entered the room last.

“Surprise!” She said when Sonny finally saw her.

He stopped in his tracks, mouth agape as he realised that he wasn’t hallucinating. She was, in fact, there. Ben was making some comments, but she couldn’t hear any of them because her heart was pounding in her ears. She just stared at her boyfriend that she hadn’t seen for months.

Sonny didn’t take his eyes off her as he approached her. His face was blank, she couldn’t really tell whether he was glad to see her or not. But when she stood up, he wasted no time in pulling her into a hug.

She let out the biggest sigh of relief when he wrapped his arms around her. His hug still felt so warm, so welcoming. And truly, there was no better feeling than being embraced by the person you long for the most.

—

The four of them sat down together for a while, catching up a bit about their lives. But then the couple decided to leave despite her insisting that they should stay. They said that she and Sonny should have the time and the room all for themselves, making up for the lost times.

“What’s… What’s all this?” Sonny asked a moment after Ben and Emily left them.

“It’s just me making an effort,” she answered. “I missed you and I really wanted to see you, so… Here I am. Are you mad?”

“No, it’s just a little bit confusing. Why– Why didn’t you just call me? Tell me that you’re coming here? Thank you for the surprise, it’s nice, but– I’m just confused…”

“I’m sorry,” she said with a timid voice. “I was just scared to see you. Our last fight was… Bad. I was worried if you were still mad at me. I didn’t even know if you wanted to see me...”

“You could just call me and ask.”

She shrugged. “I was scared to even ask.”

“I’m your boyfriend…” Sonny shook his head and ran his hand through his hair frustratingly. “I feel disappointed in myself now. I couldn’t make my own girlfriend comfortable enough to talk to me... It shouldn’t be that way, innit?”

She slightly shook her head as she dropped her gaze. “But it’s on me too. I shouldn’t be scared but I do, because… I was afraid that I’d ruin our relationship even more.”

She heard Sonny letting out a heavy sigh. The next thing he did was reach out for her hand—he held it and gave it light strokes with his thumb. She just stared at their linked hands. The corners of her lips perked up ever so slightly without her even realising, as she felt a bit of relief washing down on her.

“It’s my fault too… I’m sorry for every hurtful word that I said to you,” Sonny started. “Babe, look at me.” She raised her head up and met his gaze. Her heart clenched when she noticed the regret written all over his face. “I’m sorry for saying you don’t care about us anymore, that you don’t make any efforts for us. I was selfish. I asked you for attention and I blamed you because you didn’t give me the attention that I wanted. But I didn't try to understand that you’re struggling too.”

She nodded. “It’s understandable. When we weren’t speaking, I had enough time to reflect on everything,” she said, shifting her gaze between his eyes and their linked hands. “I got to live my dream, I got to be independent like I’ve always wanted, but I got too comfortable. I detached myself from you… And I’ve realised that it’s not right. It’s not what I want.”

“It’s okay…”

“It’s not okay, babe, I– I lied and hid things from you. I tried to make things easier for us, maybe mostly for me. I got tired and felt like it’s okay for you not to know some things. It was wrong. I’m sorry.”

Sonny let go of her hand and her heart dropped for a second. She watched on as he got up from his chair and walked around the table. When she realised what he was going to do, she got up too and a second later, she was wrapped around his arms.

She couldn’t hold back her sudden tears, they rolled down her cheeks, and eventually fell onto his shirt dampening it. It seemed like Sonny realised that she was crying because he started stroking her back and her head, also planting small kisses on the side of her head. He let her cry and she honestly appreciated it. All this time she’d been crying alone, it felt nice to be able to cry whilst being embraced by him again—just like how it used to be—and she could just finally let everything out.

After a while, Sonny loosened his arms and he searched for her face. He held her face and erased her tears with his fingers before he leaned down to place a gentle kiss on her forehead.

“Thank you for coming here, yeah? I really appreciate your effort. I love you, baby,” Sonny said with all sincerity. She couldn’t help to let out a sob, more tears fell from her eyes. “I’m sorry that our relationship became a mess but I know that I love you. Now let’s fix this. Me and you.”

“Together?”

“Yes. Together. I promise I will always be there for you this time.”

She softly nodded. “I love you too,” she whispered.

Sonny smiled as they gazed into each other’s eyes. She slowly felt like her chest was getting less and less heavy. They definitely still have so many things to talk about and obviously look for the solutions to fix their mess, but for now, she just wanted to be held by him and stare deep into his beautiful eyes.

They just needed to stay like that, reminding themselves why they loved each other, why this relationship was worth fighting for. This was just another hardship that they could overcome, because they believed that their love was stronger than they knew.

—

finally a sonny angst!! i revamped this fic THRICE, took longer than it should (i feel so bad😭). i made it too complicated, so i got very stressed out, but i think this is the best that i could come up with. i hope you liked it!

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