#aurora lou

Something tickled him on the nose and it made him scrunch it. The tickle continued down over his lips but it was soon back on his nose again. He rubbed it against the soft pillow he was lying on and tried to continue to sleep. Far away he could hear a giggle from a young woman but he didn't think about it more than that, it must have just been a dream that flew by.

Aurora laid next to Bill and looked at him move his pixie nose while she dragged her fingers over his face. He was so cute with such beautiful futures. She thought that his nose was her favorite until he licked his lips and his dimple showed itself. He was way too cute.

She moved closer to his naked body with her own and lifted the cover carefully. She had a queen size bed but only one cover that they shared. She looked at his body, especially when he laid down on his back. He was naturally lanky with strong arms and legs but he had a little soft spot on his lower belly, concealed under a sparse happy trail. She wanted to drag her hand over the spot just to see if it actually was soft but didn't dare, maybe he would take offense. She looked up at his face again and dragged her long nails carefully over his jaw bone.

Bill felt a foreign feeling on his jaw. He couldn't say at all what it was, was it sharp? No not really, it tickled a bit like nails but not like the nails he had felt before in his life… He opened his eyes slowly and expected to see the window at home with white curtains but instead his eyes found a pair of full lips to look at. They were naturally in a deeper color than his wife's lips but also full in a way that made them pout alluring. He looked up at the young face. A small, slightly upturned nose and big brown eyes. The girl was so beautiful he was forced to blink just to see if she would disappear but she didn't instead he just saw more of her. Long dark hair, long eyelashes and feminine hands holding up the cover over her chest. Her naked chest. Bill remembered now. They had met at the museum. He had followed her home for tea, leading to such great sex he had proposed to her. Then they ordered a pizza, a really good pizza that led to them sleeping with each other in her bed while they held such deep eye contact it felt like they stopped time. He could feel his back hurting from pounding her so hard. Aurora. Aurora Lou. Fuck she was hot but also… He couldn't explain it, her whole being was like the finest cocaine. But fuck. He was married.

"Hey handsome…" she said sweetly and gave him a kiss on the cheek, then one more on his stubbly jaw. He smiled tiredly and looked at her. She didn't cover her chest anymore and that made Bill completely forget that he had a wife in Sweden. Bill looked at her chest and smiled bigger.

"Shit, am I dreaming?" He said and looked at her up and down when she had sat up in front of him. The cover laid around her hips but she didn't seem to care that her tits were completely exposed. She giggled at Bill's question and dragged her hand over his naked chest.

"No, you are awake. But…." She laid down on her stomach next to him and Bill moved so he could lay facing her and look at her. "Do you know how cute you are when you sleep?" She said with a giggle. Bill looked at her confused but then smiled while a blush spread over his cheeks. He hasn't heard such a compliment for a long time. Instead of answering her he reached out and took her arm, pulling her up on top of him. Aurora just giggled, sat up and removed the cover so the both of them were gloriously naked again. She could feel his cock poking her on the ass but she just smiled sweetly at him. Bill looked at her body up and down but stopped between her legs. He had fucked her three times. Even so hard she bled but she just took it, moaned loudly and played with her own chest. He had never seen anything that erotic. He wanted to fuck her again but when his phone rang he became panicked and moved her away a bit too quickly so she fell with her head in the mattress.

"Sorry, sorry…" he said, stressed while searching for his phone in his pants' pockets. Aurora just giggled and stretched out in bed. Bill knew that he must find his phone, if not to answer, but to fix the contact so it didn't say "Älskling" on the screen but Aurora… Bill dropped everything and just looked at her. She had such a great ass, had he ever been with a girl that had a good ass? She dragged her long manicured nails over her collarbone and breast and bit her lip and squirmed like she couldn't lay still. She looked horny. She looked like she wanted his cock again. She bit her lip and closed her eyes with a moan. Bill just stood and stared at her. Had the universe forgot he was a forty year old archaeologist? He was old, dry and boring. Maybe he would have been different if he had done something else with his life but now he was old in advance. Still that perfect girl wanted him.

"Spread your legs," he said with a deep voice and threw away his pants. He could hear the vibrating phone land on the floor but he just crawled up in bed, between Aurora's legs again and pushed his nose in her pussy. He didn't warn her about anything, just searched up her clit and sucked on it like it was his pacifier. He heard Aurora's sounds and once again thought that he wanted to hear those sounds for the rest of his life.

×××

They sat against the headboard both of them, with messy hair and fucked out expressions. Bill had long marks of her nails on his chest and shoulders while she had two hickeys on her breasts.

Both of them looked down at their legs. Bill's long pale legs with dark hairs next to her short ones, tan and hairless. Both of them had nice legs but in two really different ways.

"This was…" said Aurora and then giggled a bit embarrassed. She had no idea how to sum it up in a few words.

"Yeah…" said Bill and breathed out deeply.

"Do you want coffee?" Said Aurora and stood up on her knees in the bed. Bill first looked at her naked body but looked away when he realized what feelings that started to grow in him again.

"Yes, thank you… What’s the time?"

Aurora stood up and walked away to her vanity table where her wrist watch was. Her phone was still in the living room.

"10:15."

Bill laughed a bit nervously and dragged a hand over his face.

"I started work two hours ago…"

"Oh…" Aurora made a face of worry and put on the pink silk robe that was hanging on the chair by the vanity table.

"But yeah, I would love some coffee," said Bill with a crooked smile. Aurora smiled back and it made him smile for real. For just a few seconds the world stopped again. Bill could feel emotions in his body he had not felt since he was a teen and some felt totally new.

He looked after Aurora while she walked to the kitchen then he stood up to dress himself. He had a wife and kids. What was his problem? Aurora was 24, living in New York and… a model? He suddenly saw some pictures of her laying on the drawer. It looked like test shoots of her in just black underwear. He stood with his pants unbuttoned and looked at the pictures of her.

"Ehh…" Aurora had come into the bedroom to ask him how he took his coffee when she saw him looking at the pictures of her.

"Are you a model?" He asked seriously. He thought she would be too short but that probably didn't matter with her face.

"No… No… I just…" Aurora looked away a bit embarrassed. "I have an agent and he thought it was a good idea…"

Bill nodded a little and continued to dress. Aurora looked at him from behind. How his broad shoulders disappeared behind the white button up. He was such a man and she felt a bit silly where she stood in her apartment that looked like a little girl's bedroom.

"Do you drink your coffee black?"

She asked and Bill turned while he threaded the black belt through the pant loops.

"Yeah," he smiled a bit and then looked down at the belt. Aurora smiled back but wasn't prepared for Bill to follow her to the kitchen. He took his chance to look around in her apartment. It was clean but it was obvious she had too many clothes, bags and shoes. He hadn't much of a chance to look at them much but still saw some of the brands. Chanel, Dior, Prada, Vivienne Westwood, Versace… Aurora was probably not the ordinary shop girl.

They sat down on the couch together and like it was the most natural thing they crawled up close to each other, with Bill's arm around Aurora's waist and her legs in his lap. They drank their coffee in silence but they didn't feel the need to talk, but just enjoyed the closeness.

They sat down the mugs on the coffee table when they had finished their drinks and Aurora turned to Bill.

"When do you go back to Sweden?" She asked carefully. Bill smiled sadly and looked down at her legs, she had a little birthmark on her thigh which he dragged his thumb over.

"The day after tomorrow…"

Aurora was quiet. She had never believed they could really date because he didn't live in the country but she thought she might get to see him again.

"I should go…" said Bill without commenting on what they had said before. Aurora thought it meant that this was what he wanted. A one night stand.

When he stood with his outerwear on he looked at her. She stood just in front of him still just dressed in the robe and her dark messy hair. She played with her nails and looked down at them like it was the most important thing they were clean.

Bill felt his heart ache but swallowed hard to kill the feeling. All of it was so wrong and he should let her be now, she probably had a younger guy somewhere anyway.

"It was nice to meet you, Aurora Lou," he said awkwardly and strained a smile. Aurora looked up at him and nodded with a small smile. She wanted to be angry at him for obviously just using her for sex but couldn't. It felt like yelling at a puppy when he looked at her like that.

"Yeah… Bye then?" He said and stretched out his arms towards her for a hug but she just took his hand in hers instead. She was still more or less naked, he didn't need to come so close again. Bill smiled disappointedly but took the moment to look at her. She probably regretted that she had slept with someone like him while he knew he would never get over her. She was gorgeous but when he looked at her he knew he mostly would miss how she made him feel.

×××

He went back to Sweden, to the hamster wheel. The wedding bands had been on his finger since the cab ride from Auroras’. They felt weirdly foreign and he looked at them every time he got some time alone. He has had them there for eleven years and suddenly it felt like they sat too tight.

It was nice meeting his daughters again, he had been in New York for two weeks and had missed things but if he was honest it was a small price to pay for keeping his sanity. He couldn't just have a nine to five job, he needed to go collect new experiences and new impressions. It was great that his wife was pleased with Stockholm so she could take care of the everyday life but he didn't understand her at all and even thought she became a bit boring because of it.

He tried to not think about Aurora Lou any more. He tried to see it as just a nice experience but also a slippage that didn't really mean anything for his marriage. He knew nothing of it was true but it was just what he would say to himself, over and over.

"So when will the release party be?" Asked his wife when they sat on the couch on a Tuesday. She was mentioning the book he had written with two of the professors at NYU, about the prehistoric human's eating habits. It was as boring as it sounded.

"There isn't a release party, it's an academic book. Us guys in the work group will just go out and eat dinner or something I think."

"Oh…" said his wife, disappointed but Bill ignored it. He was relieved it wasn't a release party.

Bill sat with his laptop. As soon as his daughters had gone to bed he took it out. He hadn't so much with his wife and was too restless to just watch a series with her. He knew he was unromantic but he didn't see a point trying after so many years.

He pretended to work but it wasn't at all what he did. He looked at casting directors' pages. Swedish and American. He still had a dream about acting but didn't share it with anyone. It was too embarrassing to confess he felt his whole six year long education was bullshit. It supported his family but he felt bored and unsatisfied every day. He gave his wife a fast look then moved so the laptop's back was towards her. He took a deep breath before writing in Google's search bar. He didn't have her last name but hoped just her double first name would give him a result.

Aurora Lou.

It came up with several Instagram accounts, a doll, and make up products. He scrolled the pictures and found a link fast but it wasn't at all what he expected. It was a teenage Aurora, dressed in a pink dress with a microphone in her hand. He clicked on it fast without thinking and scrolled the article about a festival in a park in L.A.

"Aurora Lou, 18, shines the brightest with an amazing voice and her own written songs. In a few years she will be the big winner at the Grammys."

Bill swallowed hard and looked at her face. He felt with her so much and it was obvious why.

"Is it something?" Asked his wife, with furrowed brows. Bill looked up at her, shocked.

"Hm?"

"You look upset."

"No?" He said and pretended to not understand.

"Okay." She turned to the TV again and Bill closed the tab with Aurora and then closed his laptop all together. He swallowed hard. He had decided to forget Aurora but now he engaged himself in her singing career. But he still felt warm in his chest. Even if he remembered her face so well he needed to see it again to get confirmation she was the most gorgeous girl he had seen. Even if Aurora was jail bait in the picture, was she so beautiful.

He sighed and pretended to yawn.

"I'm going to bed…"

"Okay but you haven't forgotten that you must take the kids to school tomorrow?"

Bill gave her a confused look. He started work at 8 am while she didn't have a job. He actually supported her.

"The birthday brunch?"

He smiled stiffly and nodded as an answer. Oh right, the birthday brunch he was paying for to her friend.

He didn't say goodnight, he needed as much sleep as he could get if he should get up earlier to take the girls to school.

×××

New York in October. Bill walked through central park alone. He hadn't liked being alone when he was younger but saw more and more the charm with it the older he got. He could be in his own head completely and think of all the things he would never share with anyone. Now he also had some time to kill before going to the ballet. Yeah, the ballet. The university had gotten some tickets for free so he and his colleagues had got them as some sort of congratulatory gift for releasing the book. He didn't think ballet was his thing but was willing to try.

He met his colleagues in the lobby. It was a big modern lobby, he expected something older but understood now why they didn't have a strict dress code. He still tried to look a bit more dressed up in black slacks and a black button up. His colleagues looked like they used to, a suit jacket over a regular outfit so they still looked like academics. He wondered if he looked like them. He hoped not.

While they stood and talked Bill watched the other guests. Most were dressed in black. Men in suit jackets and women in black dresses that's why she stood out even more. She. Among all the dark colors a bright red dress could be spotted. It had such a high slit you could see her naked hip when she moved. The dress was beautiful with thin straps and made in silk but her face was even more beautiful, framed in vintage waves. Aurora Lou. She was one level down from them so he could stare at her from above without her knowing. He looked at the man next to her who held her hand while she walked in her high stilettos. He was young, well groomed and dressed in a dark blue suit, it was obvious he had money and Bill wasn't surprised that she was with that sort of guy. Of course she had a young, rich boyfriend.

"Don't say you know that girl," said one of his colleagues loudly and impressed. Bill looked at him but felt some sort of pride grow in him.

"Is she a celebrity or something?" Said another colleague. All four of them stood now and looked down at her from the balcony.

"Yeah, I know her," said Bill with confidence. He wanted to say he had slept with her but then he would also confess to cheating against his wife.

"She is hot as fuck. Too bad you're married…" Bill looked at the colleague. He really wanted to tell them. "You would totally have a chance. You're a hot guy, bro," said the colleague and hit his arm playfully to confirm his straightness. The others agreed with some silly laughs and Bill laughed too and shook his head. He knew he had been handsome. When he was younger he heard it all the time, especially when he did his film roles in Sweden. The Swedish Magazines called him heartbreaker and he got quite uncomfortable with the attention. But then he started to study, met his wife, got a job and became a father and then he hadn't recognized the man in the mirror. But maybe he was too hard on himself? Maybe he had started to identify himself a bit too much with the boring archaeologist stereotype?

Bill looked down on Aurora Lou again. She smiled at the guy when his hands dragged over her naked back. Bill thought back to the time with her. She had called him handsome. She had called him cute.

"I'm going to go down and say hi to her," said Bill, with purpose and strengthened his back. The other men cheered him on playfully and he smirked while going down the stairs.

He watched her back when he walked towards her. His heart beated hard in his chest and his hands shook. He knew it wasn't normal to feel this way for a girl he just met once but started to accept that there was something special with Aurora Lou. Maybe he just was extremely horny for her but no, it was something more.

"Aurora?" He said when he came up to her. The young man still had his hand on her back but let it glide to her waist with a firm grip.

"Bill?" She smiled surprised and pushed away the guy's hand and gave Bill a hug without doubting. Bill leaned down so it would be a better hug and smiled into her hair.

"Oh my god, I thought you were in Sweden, like for forever now!"

Bill laughed and fixed her hair for her when they had hugged.

"No, I have some work and other things but…" He laughed a little and by accident looked at the guy who wore a sour expression. "I don't know ballet isn't really my thing…" he laughed and shrugged his shoulders.

"I think you can change your mind, it's really an experience," said Aurora and smiled.

"So you have been at the ballet before?"

"Yeah, I actually danced when I was younger but then I got the ass…" she said with a blushing smile and giggled a little. Bill laughed and thought about flirtatiously commenting on it but didn't get the chance.

"This is Benjamin and Benjamin, this is Bill," she introduced the men who shook each other's hand a bit too harshly with hard expressions. Even the people around them could understand what was happening. Aurora strained a smile but turned to Benjamin who gave her a look that meant it was time to say goodbye to Bill.

"It was nice to see you," said she sweetly before Benjamin dragged her with him to the entrance to the hall.

Bill smiled at her and did a little salute. When he looked at that hand he realized he had had his wedding rings on the whole time.

×××

The ballet actually was an experience but after an hour Bill started to feel he have had enough if the experience. It was then he saw Aurora Lou again. She sat a few rows in front of him, in the middle while he sat more to the side. He could see a bit of her profile and felt something coming to life in his belly. He needed her. He needed a fix. He spinned his wedding rings around his finger over and over. She couldn't have seen them, she would have made a comment. He looked down at them and without doubting he took them off again and put them in his pants pocket. He brushed away the guilt and succeeded to say to himself it was nothing wrong.

When it was over he declined the invite to go and grab a beer and let his company go without him. He said he would try to take a cab to his hotel but it wasn't the whole truth. His goal was to get Aurora going in the cab with him. He saw her come out together with the young man. He spoke with an older couple and seemed to forget Aurora in her high heels and long dress while they walked down the stairs. She had a short fur jacket to her dress and she looked like a 1940s actress, just a bit more sexy. Bill couldn't understand how the guy could let her go down the stairs without help when she had such high heels. He totally forgot he had done the same thing to his wife way too many times but to his defense, her heels were never as high as the ones Aurora wore. Bill walked up the stairs without Benjamin noticing him and walked up to Aurora who balanced in the high heels while holding up her dress and carrying her little bag in her other hand.

"Can I escort the lady down the stairs?" He asked like a gentleman and offered his arm to her. Aurora looked up at him surprised and giggled.

"Thank you, the stairs are so slippery because of the rain," she said and took his arm. Bill took her bag too and helped her carry it down the stairs.

"Is there some way for me to be able to spend some time with you tonight?" He asked carefully and looked down at her.

Aurora looked pained and dragged her nails over the sleeve of Bill's navy blue coat.

"I have a date…" She nodded towards Benjamin who walked some steps in front of them.

"Yeah but… I will treat you much better," said Bill with a beating heart. It felt like she actually wanted to be with him.

Aurora smiled a little and looked up at him.

"I know you would but I can't just leave him… But…"

Bill looked at her with hope and she giggled at his expression.

"Nothing stops us from meeting after my date?"

Bill smiled big and was on his way to ask for her number when Benjamin shouted annoyed at her.

"Just come to me when you can," she said with a low voice before letting his arm go and taking her bag. It was silly she did because it was so much slower for her to go by herself. Bill continued to walk by her side, both to make sure she didn't slip but also to be able to be close to her. He looked at her profile and her legs with that high slit and thought again that he wanted her so badly, more than anything he had wanted in life.

×××

He watched from the corner of the house Aurora and Benjamin saying goodbye to each other outside of Aurora's door. It was obvious Benjamin wanted to come close to her. He caressed her waist and smiled sleazy towards her. Aurora smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek but then pushed away his hands that were on their way down to her ass. Bill swallowed hard and wiped his hands on his hips. He was jealous. He was so jealous he imagined himself walking up to the guy and hitting him. He was not a person that took to violence but seeing Aurora with that stupid brat made it boil in him.

Benjamin jumped into a black car while Aurora walked into her apartment building. Bill took a risk and ran up to her even if Benjamin's car wasn't far away. It was just easier being let in by Aurora at once.

She smiled when he ran into the hallway and Bill looked at her with an even bigger smile. Carefully he did the same thing as the young man; laid his hands on her waist and pulled her close to his body.

"Can I kiss you?"

Aurora smiled and looked at him with sparkling eyes.

"Yes please…" she said with almost a moan and Bill looked at her fascinated. Did he just get her to moan?

He kissed her softly but she deepened the kiss. Bill felt his heart beat like a drum in his chest.

They stood in the hallway, making out like teenagers. It was both erotic and innocent at once. Bill lifted her up and she placed her legs around his waist but instead of continuing to make out they laughed together, laughed of simple, warm happiness.

×××

The feeling of total happiness stayed with him while they sat on a small little bar that laid on her street. She had changed her dress to a short black one with lace adorned stockings before going there. Bill was fascinated by them, for him it was a garment for the bedroom, even if he had never had a woman in that type of outfit in his bedroom.

It felt good to do something together and Bill liked sitting with her, showing her off.

They talked about friends, family and their childhoods. Her childhood was in the same time as his early twenties so they could share some things with nostalgia otherwise the both of them had some things to learn from the other. Bill really wanted to ask about her singing career but didn't feel he had a good moment. Maybe he would make her sad.

"How do you live in Sweden? Like, you live in Stockholm but do you live in a house or apartment…" Aurora asked sweetly while playing with Bill's big hand in her small one on the table. Bill licked his lips and looked away. He wanted to tell her the truth. He really wanted to but he couldn't, it felt like it was physically impossible.

"In an apartment… With my three daughters," he said. It was almost true. He didn't hide his daughters, that was the most important thing.

Aurora's smile disappeared.

"Oh…" she let go of his hand and took a big sip of her red wine. She laughed nervously. If Aurora had succeeded with more things in life she had felt different about it, she would have grown faster but this Aurora wasn't there yet. This Aurora had just one thought in her mind, to succeed with her singing career.

"Yeah…" said Bill and swallowed hard. Of course he understood. Maybe he didn't even need to tell her he was married to make her dump him.

"So are you like, alone in taking care of them or is there a mother in the picture?"

She just asked if he had someone to share the responsibility with but Bill in his worry felt a need to explain himself. Or rather lie until he would believe it himself.

"I'm divorced. Since four….three years back." He realized his youngest daughter was four. "My ex has her own place." He nodded and then smiled at Aurora. He didn't think he could lie so easily. He didn't see himself as such an asshole but he felt desperate. He would lose her otherwise and she was the first person in many years that had made him feel good about himself.

Aurora smiled at him too and carefully he took her hand in his again.

"I'm not some boring dad, I promise," he said as a joke even if a boring dad was probably how many would explain him.

Aurora giggled and fixed her hair.

"How old are they?" She said with a smile. Bill smiled too because he was proud of his daughters even if it would have been easier right then and there if he didn't have them.

"12, 7 and 4."

Aurora smiled back at him but Bill had a hard time interpreting her. Maybe it didn't really matter the second time they met. It was himself that stressed everything because he was so afraid she would find out the truth. She giggled a little sadly and shook her head.

"Our life is so different from each other…"

Bill gave her a searching look and smiled nervously.

"You are a father while mine still supports me…"

Bill licked his lips, he hadn't really thought about how Aurora supported her lifestyle in NYC.

"He owns my apartment, he pays for my agent, my dance lessons, my singing coach and gives me an allowance every month."

She looked away embarrassed with shiny eyes. He wasn't the only one who was embarrassed about his life.

"What does he do for work?" Asked Bill, maybe he should have said something comforting but he got too curious.

"He is a plastic surgeon in L.A…"

Bill could understand he probably earned good money on that. Bill looked at her carefully then smirked.

"That explains the valley girl accent," he said with a similar accent as her. Aurora laughed.

"I don't sound like that!"

"I don't sound like that," mimicked Bill and Aurora laughed and hit his arm. They looked at each other for a while until Bill dragged her chair closer to his and laid his arm on the backrest of her chair. She giggled a little and leaned towards him.

"You're good at that. The accent."

Bill smiled crookedly and shrugged his shoulders.

"I was an actor many, many years ago."

Aurora nodded and looked up at him with big eyes.

"I know… I kinda googled you."

Bill smiled amused but it also warmed his heart that she had googled him too.

"Did you not like it?" She said and dragged her hand over his thigh.

"Yeah yeah but…" he shrugged his shoulders and smirked to cover his real feelings. "Is it okay if I sleep at your place tonight?" He asked both because he wondered but also to flee from the question. Aurora smiled and leaned up so they could kiss.

"Of course, handsome."

×××

She sat straddled over him while he laid down. Everything came so natural and easy for them until she would ride him. He looked forward to seeing her from that angle but it didn't work. She just succeeded in rubbing against him and it didn't give him much at all. She noticed that he wasn't pleased and stopped her movement.

"I'm so bad at this…" she said, embarrassed and sadly.

"No, no… But maybe you can move like, up and forward with your hips instead of just…" He saw that she got even more uncomfortable and moved off from him.

"I usually can…" she said and lowered her eyes. Bill swallowed hard. An image of her and Benjamin came up in his head. Maybe he was the one that did something wrong.

"We’ll try again," he said and took her hand to make her sit up on him again.

"No… I just… I guess you're too big or I have too short, weak legs." She said and looked away.

"Come," said Bill and tried again to make her sit on top him. He had some new confidence by hearing he was well endowed.

"I just feel unsexy now…" she said with a low voice and stood up and put on her panties. Bill sat up without covering up and looked after her disappointed while she put on a big t-shirt. She stood awkwardly and watched him sit in the middle of the bed with still a hard on.

"Do you want me to go?" He said a bit nervously. She pulled down the t-shirt, trying to cover her panties.

"No… But maybe you want to? It's okay… I mean, I really feel… I can't give you what you want right now…" she said with a weak voice, it sounded like she was close to tears. Maybe it was the wrong feeling but Bill felt warm in his chest seeing her caring about his opinion as much as he cared about hers.

"I just want to be with you. I don't care what we do, I just want to talk to you, be close to you…" he said with a warm smile.

She giggled and wiped away a tear that spilled down her cheek.

"Really?"

"Really." Bill smiled and covered himself up. Aurora crawled down in bed next to him.

"You know… I really like you, for real. I don't know but… It will sound silly but it feels special with you? I don't know…" she said with a blush. Bill laid his arm around her and smiled big. The butterflies were wild in his stomach.

"I feel it too…"

Aurora looked up at him.

"I know that we haven't been with each other much at all but…"

"I feel it too," said Bill again and kissed her.

There was something really special there. No one of them could explain it but it was like a box full with feelings they never felt had been locked up. Were they in love? Yes, but it was way too early to say something like that and then there was the little problem. The little problem, that Bill was married and Aurora didn't know anything about it.

×××

Aurora tickled Bill under the nose with a long nail so he dragged his hand over his face in annoyance. She knew he wouldn't be annoyed if he knew it was her but now he was asleep and everytime he woke up he seemed to have forgotten he was lying in her bed. He had slept there four nights in a row and had become a habit for Aurora to tickle him in his face. She thought he was too cute to not annoy that way. He looked boyish when his face relaxed from sleep and instead of a face with manly attributes his face became smooth and angelic. She was ridiculously in love with him and didn't want anything else than to lay with him in bed all day but in twenty minutes his alarm on the phone would ring and he must get up and then go to work, even if she had succeeded to make him hard in just seconds.

Bill slapped her hand when she dragged her nails under his chin and the sound made him wake up.

"You hit me!" Said she playfully and pushed his chest. Bill closed his eyes again and hushed her. He moved closer to her and then continued to crawl up on her.

"Bill!" She screamed with a hysterical laugh but he just pretended like he did it in his sleep and faked a snore. He couldn't stop himself from smiling, it was way too wonderful to make her laugh like that.

"I can't breathe!" She screamed with the same laugh but Bill sat up by that. It was never the thought to make her in distress.

She laughed though and looked at him with big eyes. She looked at his wide collar bones and flat chest. Bill flexed his arms discreetly when she looked down at his arms.

"It's hard to believe you're 40…" she said and dragged her hand over his veiny underarm. Bill looked at her uncomprehendingly. Aurora looked at him with a similar look.

"That's positive?" She said worriedly. Maybe he didn't want to look younger.

"But do you mean I look older or younger?" He said with furrowed brows. Aurora moved closer to him with a similar expression. She couldn't understand how he could wonder such a thing. He looked really good.

"Younger? I mean, you still have such a boyish charm and have amazing skin."

Bill looked at her with those big boyish eyes. She had felt it before that he didn't seem to really believe her compliments and wondered if you maybe got that way after a divorce.

"You're so handsome… Sexy… Hot," she said with a seductive look and crawled up and straddled his lap. He sat in the lotus position so the both of them could sit comfortably. Bill smiled with a blush and she kissed his deep dimple.

"You should really work on your confidence…" she said sweetly and dragged her hands through his hair.

Bill looked at her with big eyes. He had a girl like her in his lap. He couldn't be as old and boring as he thought he was. Aurora looked at his eyes and thought about what they had spoken about before but also Bill's personality. He was quite silly and liked to play around.

"You still dream about acting…" she said carefully but looked him straight in the eyes. Bill didn't let go of her eyes even if that would be his regular reaction when someone put him against the wall. He had never confessed about his deep desire and thought he would never confess it. His wife wondered in the beginning of their relationship why he had given it up but believed him when he said he didn't want it. Something told him he wouldn't be able to lie to Aurora but also that she knew the answer all too well. Maybe it was because she also now was one of his deepest desires.

"Yeah, but that's too late now…"

He didn't look away and neither did she. She dragged her long nails over his scalp and looked at him examining.

"No it's not. Have you tried?"

Bill shifted between looking in her right and left eye.

"No but…"

"No buts. You should try, otherwise you will regret it. If it doesn't work, you have tried."

Bill smiled and kissed her a bit more passionately than she were prepared for. He knew how much she fought for her singing career. Auditions, singing lessons, sending demos to every person in the business she could find. It was inspiring. It was also inspiring that she believed in him so much, that she didn't seem to think about anything else other than that he should be happy. He hadn't felt that since… Has he ever felt it? Had he ever had a girl that had really listened to what he wanted?

×××

Bill had gone to New York every other month to work with two professors and their team at New York University. While he was there he had his own office and was treated as a colleague. Even if he didn't really like his job it was nice to be able to go to the USA. He had been there a lot when he was younger when his dad worked there. He had a thought about moving to the USA when he was in his early twenties to try to get some acting roles but he put that to the side when his girlfriend under that time rather wanted him to do something more modest with her. They moved to Uppsala together to study. It didn't work out between them but he met his wife through his brother instead. He had always earned money so his wife that hadn't really succeeded with any of her ideas had lived on him since they became a couple.

Marriage, children and a job at Stockholm's university came as a natural growth instead of what he really wanted. He didn't even think about what he wanted until his first trip to New York. It was like he came in contact with himself again by leaving Stockholm. He knew he could never say it out loud, how much he liked to leave Stockholm and his family.

Bill pretended to work on his laptop while his colleagues walked by his office, looking through the narrow window by his desk. Among the archaeologists, historians and biologists he worked with he had status. He was the cool guy among all the nerds. It wasn't so hard being the cool guy around corduroy and thick framed glasses so he didn't see it as some big compliment.

There was a knock on the door and he sighed to himself. They often wondered if he wanted a coffee, wanted to take some air, or eat lunch… They wanted to be close to him like he could give them a bit of coolness. Bill himself didn't feel cool at all.

"Yeah?" He answered and looked up from the computer. It was Paul. One of the worst. He had tried to start to smoke just because Bill did it sometimes. Everything to be close to him.

"Ehh… You have a visitor?" Said Paul with a smirk.

Bill looked at him with furrowed brows and waited on more information.

"Joe said you talked with her at the ballet… She's really pretty," said Paul and looked at him with big eyes. Bill couldn't stop himself from smiling. It wasn't good she was there but he missed her all the time even if he had woken up next to her that very morning. He stood up with a smirk and fixed his knitted sweater. He wished he had a mirror in his office to fix his hair.

Paul just stood and looked at him with a nosy smile. He looked at everything Bill did, how he fixed his hair with the help of his phone camera, took a mint but also took off his wedding rings. He thought he did the last thing discreetly but Paul looked at him like a hawk.

"Who is she?" He asked and followed Bill out in the hallway.

"She's a student," Bill lied naturally.

"Really? Archaeology?"

"Yeah."

Paul laughed a little.

"Didn't think archaeology students could look like that."

Bill shrugged his shoulders.

"I guess you have met the wrong sort then."

When he came around the corner he saw Aurora stand by the entrance door to the department. She wore her white coat and white platform boots and lacy tights. She didn't fit into the university's brown interior.

"Hey?" He asked and smiled at her. He said hello when he was some distance from her in a way to try to prevent her from saying hello in a too intimate way.

"Hey my man," she said with a sweet giggle and played with her pink little handbag. She had a black headband holding her long hair in place and looked sweet with her perfect eyeliner and girly vibes. Bill wished he could be her man but he wasn't.

"Emm… I must be like 'professional' here but maybe you can come into my office?" He said and looked worriedly back at Paul who stood in the corner and watched them.

"Oh, okay. Can't you like… Hug?"

"There are students here and yeah…" said Bill and turned to the hallway he had come from. Aurora nodded a little and looked around while they walked to his office. Every man they met stared at her like they had never seen a woman. She thought to herself that some of them maybe hadn't, they looked like such nerds. But Aurora was used to men's eyes on her.

They walked into Bill's office and when he had pulled down the blinds he kissed her passionately. Aurora didn't think about his behavior, she had never really been to a university so maybe there were such rules.

"What are you doing here, babe?" He asked. Aurora took off her white coat. She had a pink knitted dress that sat tight over her curves. Bill wiped the corner of his mouth and when she stood and looked through the shelf he pressed himself close to her even if she hadn't answered his question. He caressed her hair away so he could bend down and kiss her neck.

"I thought you might want to eat lunch with me? Now since we won't eat together tonight?" She said and leaned her head to the side so he could continue to kiss her neck. Bill didn't really think about what she said because he had pulled up her dress and was on his way to pull down her tights so he could push into her from behind. Aurora just let him, he was always horny. She leaned forward against the shelf when he pulled down her tights and spanked her ass. She giggled and he smiled.

"Bad girl, just coming and interrupt me at work…" he said and unbuttoned his slacks.

"I can go?" She teased and pushed her ass against his crotch. Bill spanked her again but then pushed her down on the couch on all fours so could stand on his knees instead of standing in the awkward position he needed to stand into to fuck her standing.

"What did you say about tonight?" He asked while playing with her thong between his long fingers.

"I work tonight."

Bill stopped in his motion and looked at her confused even if he couldn't see so much of her face in that angle.

"Doesn't the store close at 7?"

"It's not in the store." She pushed her ass against his hard on and moved up and down. Bill moved away. He was horny but now also curious.

"Where will you work?"

Aurora had hidden her other work intentionally for Bill because guys she had dated before hadn't liked it all and she could just guess what Bill would think. He had values like a dad to daughters.

"I'm a part of a burlesque show. You know, to be able to sing." She said it with a shrug but Bill paused. He could hear the possessive pulse in his head even if he didn't have the right to feel like that.

"So… You take your clothes off?" He said and sat down on the couch. Aurora looked back at him and also sat down when she saw that he had.

"And sing."

"But… But you take your clothes off in front of… drunk men?"

Aurora started to dress. She had heard this before. But no man would ever be more important than her dream.

Bill looked at her when she was dressed again. He could've also paid to see her undress. It was also that made it harder to accept her job. He knew exactly what all those men thought while looking at her. It didn't matter if they had children, were married, had respectful jobs they just wanted to do the filthiest things with her.

His girl.

The music was loud in the house, Swedish hip hop Aurora didn't understand much of it. It went too fast and there were phrases she never heard before. She took off her chunky heeled boots and rolled her eyes when she heard the noises from men and how she could almost smell the testosterone. She walked into the dinning room where the sounds came from and on her way fixed her updo and her dress that was probably a bit too short. A puffy emerald green dress her belly had space in.

"Looou!" Said one of Bill's friends when she came in and met the sight of five men around the table. The table was full of glass cups and bottles and all of the men looked like she had caught them but the worst was Bill's face. He tried to smile so sweetly but he looked nervous. He stretched his arms out towards her while the other men said hello to her like she was his mother who had come home early. Aurora just gave Bill an irritated look and didn't walk up to him.

"Sorry babe… It just happened…" he said and covered his mouth with a hand to cover up a burp.

"Our bump? Our bump? So can I also just "let it happen" then?" She said annoyed but there was a hint of humor in her voice. Bill smiled shamefully and looked at his friends who smirked.

"But you won’t because you.. Are much more disciplined than me… Much better than me…" he still waved his arms towards her where she stood by the entrance with crossed arms. Two of his friends laughed when they saw how desperate he was.

Aurora rolled her eyes towards her drunk husband.

"Have you smoked too? Because it smells here. Cigar?"

Bill sighed and looked down at his lap. He should have known he wouldn't be able to hide it from her, even if they did it outside. Her nose was insane under the pregnancy.

"Babe…" He whined like a five year old and stood up. He walked towards her with a lowered head. He really tried to look sweet and watched her with big eyes and pouty lips. Aurora looked just as unfazed and gave his friends a look as if she mocked him. They looked at the couple amused because they knew it was mostly playful.

"I'm really really sorry… I won’t do that again?" Bill said and tried to reach for her hand but didn't dare take it when she gave him a condescending look.

"There’s eight weeks left of the pregnancy, of course you can promise that." She rolled her eyes. Bill licked his lips and looked at his friends for help but they lowered their heads with smirks. He missed the times he could buy himself forgiveness from his partner, with jewelry or a fancy dinner, he couldn't do that with Aurora, she had more money than him.

"Say you're sorry," Aurora said with her hand on her belly. Bill gave her a confused look and furrowed his brows.

"I did?"

"Not to me, to her." Aurora patted her belly.

He smiled a little and nodded.

"I can do that later. In bed."

"No, now. With the voice. The regular way."

Bill wasn't the embarrassed type, but this was private.

"I'm going to change clothes but then you can do it. You know, she is kicking wildly right now." She dragged her hand over her belly and by reflex Bill reached for the belly to feel the sweet movements. It was the only way for him to really feel like a part of the pregnancy but Aurora moved away.

"I think right now it's my bump. Right?" She said and then walked towards the stairs. Bill sighed and threw his head back. His hands rested on his hips. He closed his eyes but then the world spun so he opened them again.

"Why did you even drink? I mean, was it worth it?" Said one of his friends still with a smirk on his lips. Bill gave him an annoyed look.

"It was you guys that forced me!"

"You weren't hard to persuade," said another friend.

Aurora came down in pink satin pajamas and her hair in tight braids.

The bump wasn't really a bump any more, it was big and round which caused gaps between the buttons of the shirt, even if it was made for pregnant women. Bill just wanted to hug and kiss his sweet girl, drag his hands over the belly. Their baby girl was often awake late at night so she probably was having a party. Aurora held her hands over the belly in that way and Bill gave her a pained look and sat down on his knees in front of her. He was still so tall he was forced to lean down to be in the same height as her belly. He looked up at her with puppy eyes and with slow careful hands he unbuttoned the lower buttons of the shirt so her round belly was out. His friends looked at the show with interested eyes especially when Bill pressed his eye against her navel, pretending to look inside, even if her navel wasn't even a hole anymore.

"Bebis, bebis, är du där? Pappis, pappis är ju här? Hur är livet där inne? Vi väntar ju på dig, min lilla tjej." (Baby, baby are you there? Daddy, daddy is here? How's the life inside there? We are waiting for you, my little girl.)

He sang it with a high pitched voice while he shifted between looking in Aurora's navel and pressing his ear against her belly like it was a little dance. Aurora couldn't stop herself from smiling with love and amusement. That little song he had written by himself and sang almost every night. His friends applauded and cheered when he had finished. Bill gave them a fast smirk but then turned to the belly again where he could feel his daughter move. He looked up at Aurora.

"Can't you join us? I can make you a virgin pink paloma?" She smiled and dragged her hands through his hair. His friends looked at each other with mixed feelings. They really liked Aurora but of course the dynamic would change if a wife was with them.

"I think I should let you boys be alone, now when you have your first and last drunken night under the pregnancy," said Aurora and buttoned her shirt. Bill smiled a little and stood up. He could be with Aurora all the time but it was wise to be with just his friends sometimes. He nodded and let her go after she had said good night to them all.

"It's almost scary watching you with her. Or at least when you think about how you were pre-Aurora Lou," said one of his friends. Scary wasn't the word his other friends would use but Bill with Aurora was different. He was the same when he was only with them but he had a glittery sparkle in his eyes that hadn't been there before and together with Aurora that glitter was thrown on everyone around. Everyone could feel their chemistry.

Bill smiled and shrugged his shoulders while sitting down with them again. He didn't feel a need to say anything.

×××

He wouldn’t call himself hungover. Tired, yes, but not hungover. But it was what he was. He would never confess it to Aurora, who sat in front of him by the kitchen table drinking a smoothie he had made for her. He had stood in pain while the mixer whirred loudly and now felt like his head had exploded. She sat silent but looked at him amused while he put in a large spoon of multivitamin powder in his smoothie.

"So when will the girls be here?" She asked and took out one of her hair ties and tied up her braid. Bill looked at her tiredly. He hadn't forgotten they would come, he had just forgotten while drinking that he would become hungover.

"In two hours…" he said with a tired, raspy voice.

"Will you clean the dining room? It looks like a frat house in there."

Bill looked at her with furrowed brows. He was dark under his eyes and his lips were so dry Aurora could see patterns on them.

"But the cleaning lady… Lotta, she will be here in an hour?"

Aurora smirked because she knew what she would say would make his hangover worse.

"She just works Mondays and Thursdays, it's Saturday today."

Bill looked at Aurora tiredly and scratched his neck.

"You mean I must clean? Now?"

"Yes, if you don't want the girls to see it. Who is it that has drawn cocks on like every bottle sticker?"

Bill dragged a hand through his hair and made a pained groan.

"Can't you..?" He said with puppy eyes but Aurora stopped him.

"Not my party. And it smells so much alcohol I can't be there. Maybe the baby will get drunk."

Bill sighed another loud pained groan and threw his head back.

Aurora drank up her smoothie and stood up. She loved Bill most in the entire world but sitting opposite him when he was hungover and whiny she didn't have energy for. So after she had made herself ready for the day she went down to the studio to do some recordings.

Bill collected glasses when his phone rang. He looked at it and saw his ex's name and hoped she wouldn't say they would come early. He really needed to clean but also take a shower.

"She doesn't say why. She just refuses to go to you."

His ex had dropped the bomb that his middle daughter didn't want to go to him, that she would stay at her mother's.

"Can I talk to her?" Bill asked, annoyed but worried. The hangover made his feelings too intense and he felt his patience bob around in his belly, like a cork on a stormy sea.

"She doesn't want to talk to you. What happened last week?"

"Nothing! We just took it slow? Aurora and I worked on the nursery and I think all of the girls had quite a lot of school work."

Bill sat down and looked at the glasses and bottles in front of him.

"And the baby doesn't take all your time?" His ex said carefully.

"No. But of course we have stuff to do and that doesn't disappear because they are here and… It's their sister. She will be a big part of their lives. If that's the problem she must get used to it."

His ex was quiet because Bill was right but even she had a hard time taking in that her daughters would get a new sister. She had accepted that Bill would have one more child but how close the child would be to her kids was harder to take in.

"Have you said anything about it? I mean… You haven't been so positive towards Aurora."

She was still quiet even if she hadn't said anything to her daughter about Aurora but it was embarrassing knowing how obvious her feelings towards Aurora were. She didn't want to be that ex, who seemed jealous and petty because she didn't see it like that. She was just a caring mother.

"Have you?" Asked Bill again. Her silence made him think she had and he sighed irritated.

"No, I haven't. Nothing at all."

Bill continued to clean up after the phone call even if his chest was heavy. He never thought he would be in this situation. He saw himself as a good father. A caring involved father even if he had a lot work outside of Sweden. He really thought all of his girls loved the idea of a little baby but his ex insinuated that it was the baby that made her not want to visit him anymore.

After cleaning up he laid down on the couch to rest his head and tired body but also think about everything with his daughter. He had seen signs but had just thought it was the teenage years starting. The sour mood, the more time alone and the attitude.

"Hey, is it that bad?" Asked Aurora when she came into the living room where Bill was lying. She meant the hangover but he just thought about his daughter. He looked up at Aurora when she patted his cheek softly and felt a need to talk to her. He knew she would get sad, really sad, not just because of her sensitive nature but also because of the hormones. He sat up on the couch and pulled her down carefully and then told her what his ex had said. He looked at Aurora's face showing the feelings he felt. Sadness, guilt, bewildered.

"Is it my fault? Should I maybe tone down? I know it's much about the baby…" She looked down while tears started to run down her cheeks.

"No, no, no. This is not your fault. If it's someone's fault it's mine. This is your first child, of course it's a big deal. Of course you should be able to embrace that."

He laid her hair over her shoulder and caressed her neck.

Aurora looked at her husband who didn't just look hungover now but also broken. She moved closer to him to pat his chest.

"I'm sorry… This can't be easy for you and… I really want to help you, but I don't know how," Aurora said carefully while looking at Bill's face. He smiled sadly and laid his hand over her hand that laid on his chest.

"You can't. I must fix this. I must go to her and talk with her. Even if she doesn't want to."

Aurora nodded a bit and patted her belly, the baby moved around and made her feel hungry. Bill looked at her belly too where he could see how his daughter danced around. He laid a big hand over Aurora's navel and made a circle to calm down the little one.

"What will happen if she can't accept the baby?" Aurora looked at the belly when she asked and thought for a second about the possibility that Bill would leave her and their child. It was too painful to think about, still the thoughts were there now and it made her chest hurt.

Bill looked at Aurora's face. She looked worried and small, like something little could break her completely.

"She must accept her sister."

"But if she doesn't? Maybe she doesn't even see the baby as her sister?"

"She must. There is nothing else."

Bill sounded determined but he was also scared. He didn't want to think about what such a thing could lead to.

×××

He had sent a text to his ex to say that he would come and they could stay at home for a while. It was noticeable in her text that she wasn't that positive to him forcing their middle daughter to talk but didn't feel she could stop him either, it was his daughter too.

Bill took off his jacket and boots after he had come in through the cold autumn winds and hugged his youngest daughter who had come running towards him.

His ex looked at him with a questioning look and crossed her arms.

"You look tired…"

"Yeah…" Bill didn't say anything more because he didn't want to say he was hungover the day his girls would come to him.

"She's in her bedroom…" said his ex and moved away so Bill could release his youngest and walk to their middle daughter. Bill took a deep breath and walked to the closed door. He knew it would probably be emotional and that his daughter would probably be angry but mustered the courage to knock on her door.

"Yeah?" She said with attitude but did answer. She probably thought it was her mother. Bill opened the door carefully and gave his daughter a look who sat leaned against the headboard in her bed, playing with her phone.

"What are you doing here?! Leave me alone!" She screamed to her father that just took some steps into her room.

"I said leave!" Her dad didn't move so she stood up to try to push him out. It was useless because he didn't even move an inch. His daughter made a sound of frustration and laid down in bed with her face in her pillow. She tried to grab her earphones but her father took them quickly.

"Honey, we need to talk. I don't understand."

"Of course you don't…" she said bitterly.

Bill sat down on the edge of her bed and sighed.

"I don't want you to feel like this. And I got so sad when your mother said to me you didn't want to come to us."

She was quiet because she really hated hearing that her dad was sad but one word made her continue to pout: us. He and his little happy family.

"Is it because of the baby?" Asked Bill with a heavy chest.

"No!" She said even if it was partly about that. She also knew it was stupid to blame a little baby, not even born.

"So what is it then? I really don't understand." Bill was on his way to lay a hand on her back but paused. She would probably be even more irritated than she was if he touched her. She laid quietly a while thinking about what to say, thinking about what she actually felt. She sat up with a jerk and gave her dad a killer look.

"You're so gross!"

Bill looked at her shocked, both by the movement and her words.

"Sorry?" He said with furrowed brows.

"You're gross and pathetic and… embarrassing. I wish you weren't my dad."

Bill looked at her hurt and looked down at the floor. His daughter was close to stopping her words by seeing her father's hurt face but chose to continue.

"Your movies are pathetic. You and Aurora are gross and you're just embarrassing. And everyone is talking about you."

Bill sighed and dragged his hands over his jean clad thighs. His hands became more and more sweaty.

"I didn't know you felt like this… I've been an actor all your life…"

He looked at her while she looked out the window. She didn't want to look at him. Her words were mean. Especially the comment about her not wanting to have him as a father. She didn't feel like that and worried he would now give up on her and give his new baby more attention instead. They sat quietly until she started to cry. Bill looked at her with glassy eyes and touched her shoulder carefully. She threw herself into his arms and cried violently against his chest. Bill hushed her soothingly and hugged her. He pressed his lips against her temple and she breathed in her dad's scent.

"Don't leave us…"

"Hm?” Bill looked down at her by her words. She took a deep breath and looked up at him.

"Don't leave us for your perfect family."

Bill looked at her confused. It seemed like this was about other things than she had said earlier.

"But you're a part of my perfect family?" He looked down at her and laid his hand on her cheek. She still hugged his waist hard.

"But… Aurora and your child will be so cute… Probably perfect. And you already give her everything. Things we have never got."

"I'm sorry honey… I know it's different but… Me and your mother had another econom-"

"I didn't even have a nursery! I slept in your room!" She interrupted him with an upset voice and let her father go.

"But we didn't live in a house with nine bedrooms. We lived in an apartment with two bedrooms. And…" he looked towards the door to know her mother wouldn’t hear.

"Your mom didn’t have much of an income while Aurora… She has much more money and she wants the baby to have some things. It's her first child. She has you three, of course. But this is her baby. And it will be different from when you were a baby because it is a different time and you have different mothers."

"But you gave her the round room!" She whined and Bill gave her a crooked smile.

"Is that still a thing? I thought you were pleased with your room?"

She sighed and looked down at her hands embarrassed.

"Yes."

Bill held back a laugh while he played with a strand of her hair.

"It's because of the sun. You know, babies shouldn't lay in sunlight, there have been many accidents with babies getting too warm and that's the room that doesn't have morning sun."

His daughter looked up at him. It was actually a logical explanation and it made her sigh. She was stupid and childish.

"But must you and Aurora be so… clingy with each other? You're 45 years old!"

Bill still smiled.

"That doesn't mean I stop being in love."

His daughter gave him a grossed out look and Bill laughed a little.

"But okay, we should think about that. Do you want to come with me? Home to me and Aurora?"

She looked down at her hands again.

"Can I come tomorrow? I just want to…" she couldn't find a word but took a deep breath and Bill could still understand what she meant.

"Take the time you need. But honey, I love you and your sisters the most in the whole world. That I have two more people I feel those emotions for doesn't make me love you any less."

Bill patted her cheek fatherly and once again his daughter hugged him.

"I love you too… And I want you as my dad. And… I love the baby too."

×××

Aurora laid in bed against the mountain of decorative pillows, lifting her belly up to get some relief. The belly was big and heavy and when she felt like that Bill stood behind her and lifted it up with strong soft hands. It was already so big and both she and Bill wondered if she would be able to carry the child for eight more weeks. Bill still worried he may have had too many tall genes for her petite body so she couldn't handle his big baby. He himself wasn't such a big baby but his older brothers had been and also his youngest daughter.

Next to Aurora sat Bill's oldest daughter and looked worried at her dad's wife. She had gone to Aurora as soon as she got to know her father would leave and talk to her younger sister. She took the opportunity to be alone with Aurora and talk with her about it all.

"Are you okay?" She asked Aurora while she looked at the big belly. Aurora's body had changed a lot but she was still so small compared to the Skarsgårds.

"Yeah… Your dad must help me carry it a bit when he comes home." Aurora gave her a crooked smile and his daughter made a similar face.

"I don't know if it is a good idea for you to do that in front of my sister…"

Aurora was quiet because she really wanted to make Bill's child feel comfortable but she wasn't comfortable for the moment. She needed her husband helping her in the pregnancy and everyday it became harder and harder for her body.

"She has just realized you two…" his daughter got pink in the cheeks and Aurora gave her a wondering look.

"That you two… What you like to do when you're alone in here."

Aurora looked at her confused first but then realized what she meant.

"Oh! Oh… Oh god…" she laid her hands over her face embarrassed. All of it was embarrassing, that this actually was something both Bill's oldest and middle daughter had thought about and that his oldest now told her that.

"It's okay. It's… Okay. I get it. You know me and Ahmen do it too."

Aurora gave her an uncomfortable smile.

"Have you talked with your parents about that?"

"Mom knows. You will not tell dad, right?" His daughter suddenly looked worried. Aurora sighed deeply.

"I've said to you that you shouldn't tell me things you don't want your dad to know. I don't want to lie to him."

If she had been the girl's mother it would be different, then she should have wanted to know everything but even if she loved his kids she wasn't their mother and didn't need to get in conflicts with Bill because of them.

"But Lou!" The girl said frustrated.

"No, I've said this to you several times. I am your dad's wife first and foremost."

The girl crossed her arms but after a while sighed.

"Tell him then but… Tell him that I don't want to talk about it."

Aurora nodded once.

"Sure." She looked carefully at Bill's daughter who laid with her arm crossed but Aurora's eyes made her turn towards her and she smiled a little towards Aurora. Their relationship was great and the girl was mature and smart. Since the first weekend together their bond grew and it made everything much more simple. His oldest daughter could accept the songs about her dad, Aurora's revealing photo shoots and her constant snuggling with her father.

"So what do I need to change to make your sister more comfortable?" Aurora asked as she tried to massage her own back. The girl looked at her and her belly.

"Sit up," said she determinedly and moved closer to Aurora. Aurora gave her a strange look.

"I've seen dad do it, move so I can sit behind you."

Aurora laughed lovingly and sat up so she could sit behind her and massage her lower back.

"Thank you, it already feels better," she said with a giggle. "But your sister?"

"Oh, I don't think you can do so much, to be honest. Maybe don’t remind her what you do with dad when you're alone…"

Both of them became silent with embarrassment.

"Do you think she can accept the baby?"

"Of course! She even knits a hat for her in school!"

Aurora looked back at the teenage girl with a big smile.

"Really? That's so sweet!"

"Yeah but pretend you don't know anything, I think it should be a surprise."

When Bill came home with his youngest daughter they heard old music by Post Malone and the door to Aurora's closet room stood open. Bill didn't really think the music was that old until Aurora said she had partied to that album on her sweet sixteen party. He agreed with her that it was old after that but in reality he had just wondered if he was old too.

His eight year old daughter ran into the other girls quickly and Bill could hear her asking how Aurora and the baby were feeling, like a little doctor. He smiled to himself and didn't disturb them until she had taken her bag and gone up to her room.

When he looked in at Aurora and his oldest daughter the both of them sat on the floor looking through clothes Aurora mostly saved for sentimental reasons. Clothes from tours, videos and premieres. Everything so extra and fun. His daughter's eyes were so big while looking at the impressive clothes.

"I will never be able to wear these again…" said Aurora like it was funny but Bill could hear the sadness too. She wore a big pink sweater and leggings, she looked most often like that for the moment so he could understand she must miss her old clothes.

"This is awesome!" His daughter held up a little white skirt with a low waist. There wasn't much fabric at all.

"Oh, I haven't used that one for ages! I think I was like 19? Must be under the time I saw your dad for the first time."

Both Bill and his daughter looked at Aurora with big eyes.

"19?? Eww daaad!! And weren't you with mom then?" His daughter had turned to him and he looked horrified.

"No, no, no!" He just said as a reflex even if it in its context became the wrong answer.

Aurora looked at them a bit amused and dragged her hands over a pair of old pants with corset lacing over the legs.

"I said, saw. I was nineteen the first time I saw a movie with your dad."

Bill smiled a bit to himself and leaned against the door post. He liked hearing how she had thought he was hot long before they got together, even if she was so young then. He himself had started to hear about Aurora under the same time but then she was just a random pop girl, no one he really gave any attention to.

"It was that romantic one, you know when he kills like everyone, you know?" Said Aurora with an almost blushy smile. It was also the movie she had quoted the first time they had met. She looked at her husband and played with her hair.

"Cute, cute, cute. But this," said his daughter and pointed at them, "this is the shit you can't do when my sister comes. You must start acting like a married boring couple."

Bill looked at her and scratched his neck uncomfortably. It was a bit embarrassing being berated by his own daughter. Aurora looked down at her clothes again. It would be hard to act like his daughter wanted. She was clingy and needy as a person.

His daughter continued to look at the clothes. Under some other things she found several unused thongs with bunny tails. Bill smirked embarrassed and so did Aurora towards him. Both of them thought the same thing: hippity hop.

"Oh god…" said his daughter and laid her hands over her face.

"I had the same kind for a photoshoot! I just got some more with me!" Said Aurora and hid them but it wasn't the whole truth.

×××

Aurora sat on top of Bill while he patted her belly. They were in bed, taking the moment alone to be really close. Her hair had grown and laid in wild curls around her shoulders while Bill's hair stood up because she had dragged her hands so much through it. She had denied him sex because of his daughter's presence and he felt a bit frustrated. One week without sex. It was the new thing now. Every other week.

"You just say that they can't hear so you can get some, your oldest actually says they talk about us having sex!" She said with a low but upset voice.

"Of course we have?" He made a gesture to the belly.

"Yeah but they shouldn't think about it."

Bill sighed. It was an awkward situation that his daughters were so conscious of his sex life but at the same time, his wife was pregnant, it was obvious they slept with each other and also it’s completely natural for a grown up couple. They looked at each other seriously but it soon changed to something else, the erotism was floating around them.

He dragged his hands up to her naked chest while she moved her hips sensually over his. They moved against each other with their underwear on and craved even more intimacy. One week, one week, thought Bill to himself.

The next day they had agreed to have as little physical contact as they could, they wouldn't talk about their latest photoshoot and keep the door closed to the nursery. Both of them could see why the designer baby clothes and the perfectly decorated nursery could be provoking, even if the both of them knew Aurora mostly did it for herself. It wasn't like a baby would care about the pink walls with clouds or the Tiffany decorations. The daughter with Aurora would have a totally different upbringing than his older daughters.

Aurora was nervous. She mostly walked around, even if she had awful back pains. Bill laid on the couch in the living room playing with his phone. He was in a conversation with a guy about sponsoring a new restaurant and just tried to focus on that but it was hard when Aurora wobbled around. He looked at her walk from the kitchen, into the dinning room, through the living room out in the hallway and then back to the kitchen again. He sighed to himself, to stress like that wasn't good for her.

"Babe, come here," he shouted after her and laid his phone on the coffee table. They were alone on the first floor, his oldest was with her boyfriend in her bedroom while his youngest was in the TV room.

She looked extra nervous while walking towards him. It looked like she thought he was angry at her. She played with her long nails and the big football jersey she wore. Bill smiled to calm her down and sat up with a bit of a groan.

"It will be okay. She was okay yesterday. She just needed some time," he said and pulled her down on the couch so he could kiss her lips.

"I don't know, I have a bad feeling…" she said and continued to play with her nails with a low gaze. Bill sat up even more and looked at her with searching eyes. He didn't really believe her feeling but it was something with those extreme nerves that also made him nervous.

The both of them got a notice on their phones 15 minutes later that someone stood outside of the door. They could see his middle daughter and ex through the camera and Bill pressed the button to let them in. Aurora sat close to him and he gave her a final kiss before he stood up. They must be grown up now. A boring married couple. Aurora looked up at him but chose to stay on the couch. She was nervous she would say the wrong things in front of his ex.

When Bill came out, in the hallway stood his daughter and ex already there, no one of them had taken off their outerwear and looked like they would leave again.

"Hey?" He said a bit doubtfully and smiled towards his daughter. He walked up to her to give her a hug and she answered with open her arms.

"Aren't the others here?" Said his ex and looked around. It was too big to see anything else than the hallway by doing that but it came as a reflex for her.

"Of course," said Bill shortly with a smile. He tried to be as normal as possible. His ex looked down at the shoes standing by the door. A pair of Nike sneakers didn't fit in and she also recognized them but she didn't say anything.

"Aurora?" She asked instead and looked up at Bill. Bill glanced at his daughter quickly, he had seen in the corner of his eye that she looked away when Aurora's name was mentioned.

"She's in the living room. She has back pains."

His ex nodded and looked down at their daughter who stood with her eyes in the ground.

"Maybe we can have a coffee or something?" Said his ex carefully, she didn't want to sound impolite but she wanted to come in and talk.

"Sure, sure," said Bill with a nod and made a symbolic gesture to the kitchen. While they took off their outerwear he walked into Aurora in the living room. She stood leaned against the couch and dragged her hands over her belly.

"God, she just kicks my ribs over and over…" she said lowly. Bill smiled with mixed feelings. He couldn't really help and now he couldn't even pretend to help with pats and kisses.

"We will have a coffee in…" Aurora interrupted him with a loud groan and leaned forward. Bill walked up to her fast, if something was happening he must act.

"Hey, hey, are you okay?"

Aurora made a pained sound and leaned her forehead against his chest.

"I don't know…" She made the same pained sound again and pushed her face even harder against Bill. He held her in his arms when he noticed she couldn't hold herself up.

"Oh god… Bill!" She said with panic and then a loud cry. "It feels like last time! The miscarriage!"