#aula rambles

its crazy cos idk if ive ever had any dreams about my body changing along sexed/gendered lines until i started t and it became Possible for me. it's like i unlocked the door to my own transsexuality lol

thinking abt that time my boss implied i shaved my head bc i was having emotional issues and its like damn... yall really hate gnc women fr

so i just learned all the things i was venting about on tumblr yesterday is called a disorganized attachment style

i try not to overapply the criticism but things are often some white people shit

oh someone liked a years old post of mine recently and i was like Damn that shit they were saying was wack and also they were going through it. i feel embarassed to have so openly struggled especially. Idiotically (and by that i mean internalized [And perhaps {probably} externalized {becuase internalized isnt really internalized anymore if you voice it and this was also initially an ex terf to tirf sorting blog so i mean}] transphobally( but at the same time it's nice to know that things are indeed better? like going on t was just chill? for any suicidality and loneliness and whatever angst i still feel it would be a better end just cos i got to do this transsexual shit first