Feb 10
when random blogs have you blocked on main but they still follow your side blog.
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when random blogs have you blocked on main but they still follow your side blog.
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I keep thinking about August posting the video. When we now know that he is quite possibly queer himself, it shouldn't make sense. But we also know that that initiation was fucking traumatizing for him. He must have been hazed so badly for that. So my thoughts are he internalized the homophobia, and he was taught that liking men and being elite didn't go together. So Wille having sex with a boy meant he wasn't fit to be a leader. This was what August was taught.
And also, do you remember him saying to Sara: "Wille has everything!" when asked why he posted the video? Maybe it wasn't just the monarchy, Wille also got act on being queer!
AND Wille got to be popular and be liked, even when he didn't even try.
Maybe August genuinly wanted to help Wille when he arrived, by teaching him everything that he had needed to learn to be accepted. That it was important to follow the rules and accept the hierarchy, and it was important who you hung out with. But then Wille didn't need August's advice, those rules for getting through Hillerska didn't apply to Wilhelm. And on top of that he got to like men without being hazed for it.
He had everything August had ever wanted. And then he threatened/tried to take away everything August had fought so, so hard to achieve: his friends, his status and his safety.
Just to be clear: I am not excusing what he did, because that is not possible. I am only trying to make sense of it all, exploring what might have been going on in his head to make that decision.
ok here are some random ass thoughts that i will put out into the world, why not
sometimes im like. its weird cause i just dont feel Excited by the prospect of the same things that everyone else gets excited over yknow
like it's just a matter of different tastes in fiction but it's still kinda weird yknow!! And it makes it a lil difficult to figure out what is Actually self indulgence for me, and not just what other ppl think is self indulgence
I will always love you and be in pain because of it.
lm // sober thoughts
August Thoughts...
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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less edging more power jerking
why has no rich gay (non evil if possible - unlikely) bought tumblr to be a non profit like wiki?