#aufrissparty

Burgenland is the least-inhabited county of Austria. Maybe this is the reason why, to move from this last place, a hook-up-party was organized. After my arrival I informed myself about what makes it so special and what there is to do. 

Dude with the Beard: Today there is simply nothing. There is simply nothing (with way more R’s than there should be). This party is... There is nothing. It’s simply nothing special. And because we are so special here in Burgenland, nothing holds us (undecipherable gibberish). Jaaa!

However, there actually was something, for example the “Tow-Away-Zone” that was well-frequented. Most guests showed themselves to be delighted (cue thumbs-up guy) because of an array of reasons.

Drunk Dude: This is so awesome because we can get wasted and we always get wasted because it’s good.

Girl shrieking: THIS IS SO PHAAAAT! Girl in the background: It’s so cool here!

Dude with the Beard: I like it very much and do you know why? (People screaming AAAH and interrupting) You can be incondito. I’m quaksi non-existant. I’m non-existant. Everyone else is on average way over me (don’t ask me what this is supposed to mean, I don’t get it in German either.)

Guy with the Hat: Nothing but gay people here!

The main attraction of the night was an sms-video-wall where uncensored text messages were displayed. (The first one reads: “Does anyone need a kitchen?”)

Extremly Drunk Dude: There is the sms-chat-wall where you can flirt a little and all that.

One of the Shrieking Girls: You can send SMS over there, this is so cool! Honestly!

Dude #5: The sms-wall is fucking useless. (With a nice shot of: Fucking ORF (Austrian equivalent of the BBC)) Because way too many people text there and they write complete bullshit. 

Dude #6: Only bullshit on there but... still cool.

Girl shrieking: THIS IS SO PHAAAAT!

Later that night hungry mouths proved the party to be a success. Which pick-up lines were successful?

Dude #6: Joo, for example.. do you know how to swim? Then you would have to say no or yes. Interviewer: No or yes. Dude #6: Well, say no.. Interviewer: No. Dude #6: Can I still push you into the pool? (Note: in German we have the same word for pelvis and pool so he’s basically saying: Can I still thrust into your pelvis? I know.. it’s weird, people are weird) So if you were a woman... Do you get it? The pelvis and thrusting...

Dude #7: (Basically a rhyme that says: Sugar, do you want cake? Just a joke, gonna fuck you anyway.)

Dude #8: Baby ...... Have a drink with me...

Dude #5: Hello (Schnitte is basically this) do you need a filling?