โ ย I CAN'T FEEL MY ----- โ the sound of pain in the heiress' voice is gut-wrenching , echoing bone-deep through the mating bond. she knows he must feel it as if it is his own pain. she tries to rein it in , if only for his sake. โ ย my wings. i can't feel my wings --- โ
there's a simple answer for that -- she has none. moments ago , she'd been struggling against the spring court heir , &* then there was searing pain &* a burst of pure black &* then ------ then she was here , drowning. only for a moment ; azriel had appeared &* dragged her back up through the water filling her lungs.
she hasn't had a moment to take stock. a moment to really register that she cannot feel her wings because she has none. she has none of anything , really. but , to her benefit , there is no physical pain ----- how can there be ? she is made of water now. for the moment , she is corporeal -- he can in fact hold her in his arms there at the edge of the pool of starlight. she feels as if she is still a solid thing of life -- that she might still have bones &* muscle &* blood. the difference now is how cold she feels. how the ripple of water dances on her skin like a projection. she is no longer a living thing if the definition is a heartbeat &* blood in her veins. when her powers wane , she will be nothing but this pool &* her thoughts , trapped in his mind.
but she has not acknowledged yet that she is anything but her former fae self. has not stepped past the trauma from a few moments ago. how could she ? her mother just died. selene herself just died. the only thing she can focus on is that azriel has his arms around her &* she is safe there with her face buried in his chest.
โ ย it's so cold. โ a whimper escapes the starborn as she squeezes her eyes tighter shut , frame shivering against him. โ i don't ---- what happened ? why can't i ----- ? ย where are we ? โ she dares to crack open an eye &* peak out , expecting to see the slaughter she'd just witnessed again. but there is a quiet , moonlit forest around them. azriel is soaking wet. her skin shimmers in the moon beams. violet eyes blink , confusion seeping in.
why were they wet ? she'd just been in the middle of the mountains in the winter ---- the smell of spring is unmistakable. this was not the night court.
a panic races down the bond as she quickly shifts her gaze to her hand there against his chest ---- notes the shimmer &* odd pattern of water that has taken to dancing across her skin. the same skin that now glows faintly. her breath catches , holds for a second -------------- there is silence within her ; deafening as she realizes she cannot hear her own heart. finds there is no consequence of not breathing at all.
โ ย i died. โ it is not a question. it is a fact ; spoken in a whisper that suddenly sounds too loud in her silent form. no -- that couldn't be right. her mother died , but . . . if she's dead , why is he able to hold her ? mating bonds snap when one half dies. she doesn't feel dead -- she feels . . . different. changed. unreal. she's not sure she can even begin to explain this state of being.
โ ย i did , didn't i ? โ she swallows thickly &* shakes her head before pressing her ear against @aueternus's chest , listening to the thud of his heart. she closes her eyes to think. โ ย we were . . . we were visiting the camp. mother &* i . . . we went to bed. &* then . . . then there was yelling &* ---- &* they just . . . they just cut her throat . . . &* her head just ---- โ she shudders into him as that mental image comes hurtling back. โ ย it happened so fast. we didn't even have time to react. i don't remember what happened to me after they cut my wings ---------- โ she flinches at the recollection of pain -- the water around them ripples out like a pulse. โ ย how did i ------ why am i here ? how did you find me ? โ