KASSEL WE`RE COMING!

upcoming events next week 

Die Goldene Discofaust at Aueblick Zinefest (flyer by Jolanda Obleser)  <3

and a RELAXING COMIC ZINE WORKSHOP at Periptero Culture Kiosk 

plus comic readings by Die Goldene Discofaust, who is releasing their new shit 

I started this blog last year in march when I met up the first time with my boyfriend Han from korea. Since then a lot happened, he broke up some when in may i guess and now we have about that time when we had sex and he broke up afterwards. I’ve been posting a lot of this here, a bunch of stuff I did on youtube but time passes and so passes my life. Something happened, something like a miracle. I came back here to write smth down once again to let it stay not only in my mind but Also here where I can always go back to.

I don’t know, how many times have we laughed about those stupid dating websites? i mean, I find it weird anyways but we have an App here in germany which is similar to badoo, yes right, the one where everybody was doin a vine about. Juuust badoo is all about sex and this other german app is a lil different. A little less about sex and more about get to know someone. Dunno if that is a real english sentence. So anyways, I’ve kept writing with some of those guys there, these are all from my place, or at least nearby, that’s what this app is about, to find people from ur place. … I’m explaining too much. Anyways I met up with some of those.. one rejected me right away after just 15 minutes, someone who was really nice. Someone else another time just wanted to sleep with me and i was fine with that as well but when we met up, he just talked to me and nothin happened lol what a waste. At the same day just later I met up someone else who was really nice and had a taste of humor. Even though his walking style was weird and he got me sick since he went outside with me even though he had an infect, he was still really one of a kind. The thing is just stat when we write, he doesn’t write anything. I am the one to do so. And I hate this, like srly. i told him what I think about him being shy as he told me before and that it would be a big problem for me but nothing changed except him writing me a good morning and a how are you. I was dead disappointed in that so I gave up on him. Another korean guy I met up was cute as well but since he can’t even talk English and just a lil german, it just srsly does not make sense to be staying in contact with him anymore.

Last but not least, there was another guy. He is also interested in the asian culture, well mostly Japan because of one piece and manga’s in general - and he is impressed that I can speak a lil bit korean. So at first I was really skeptical about this whole thing and I didn’t know what to think of him until he gave me some voice mails and I played them loudly when I was outside with my bestie. I told her that he likes Japan too, just as we do and she was really impressed by that. She told me stuff like: “Hey ur lucky that u got someone who’s interested in this stuff, also he seems to be rlly nice and cute.” from that moment on, I kept writing with him more and more and I started to see him in a different way than I did before. And I love my best friend for this, even though I usually don’t go back to her telling’s about guys, this time she really got me. Well, since she usually hates everyone I like lol. Well, Him and I we talked to each other 3 days ago on the phone for the first time and I really liked that I wasn’t just the one who kept talking and it would be all boring. It srsly wasn’t. That night I fell asleep so easily, u can’t even imagine what a relief that was.

We continued on the next day, on Thursday. We talked late at night over the phone and he kept calling me little alien. Which might sound weird for others but somehow I just really enjoyed this funny thing. We weren’t sure if we could see each other the next day, on Friday since he had some pain which could turn out to be serious but luckily it got better and he drove to Kassel. By bus and train he has to drive about an hour. I have to drive 20-40 minutes more. Anyways.. yesterday he came. And I was nervous as fck. Like srsly. Every time when I meet someone new, who I really like, I just get a weird feeling in my stomach.

So I was going to pick him up at the main train station here and he walked towards me right away and we hugged. We walked into the center of the city and yet I was feeling a little weird since this was a new situation and I my mind was filled with: “Omg does he even like me, do I look like shit, I definitely look like shiit, I bet.” We went to the bookstore and I showed him the manga section and he was totally impressed by hat since they don’t have such things in their place. He was happy like a little kid. srsly. We continued buying something for me, for school in another store until we went into the big park we have here in Kassel. Each time I am there, I’m feeling so well. I’ve been going there with the guys I like and every time I was there, I just really had a great time.

Anyways, we’ve been walking and he was impressed by the view as well, sure it’s beautiful there! It was warm outside, 20°C and the sun shone well. He bowed down to get me a little flower when I joked around that I would want one. And he really got me one. This little flower means so much to me. Some when we reached the middle of it and sat down on a bench next to the sideway. Behind us the lake with an island in the middle and a little building on top of the lil island.

It was the right choice to sit down since we got closer to each other by that.

Step by step.

Slowly.

So slow and careful I could still dream about it again.

We sat next to each other already, pretty close because of a spot on the bench. He smelled so nice. I love when boys smell good. Not the weird “I am a man” smell but a nice fresh smell.. But some when even our arms while sitting next to each other touched. We kept talking and talking, about anything. Some when he placed his arm behind the backrest of the bench until his arm rested on top of it and he placed his arm around me. This whole process took him a while, he told me afterwards he was quite shy and didn’t know if he should do it or not. But yet I was feeling really comfortable with it. Yes I did. I felt comfortable.

I still have a body issue because of my fat and I don’t like when people touch me on certain spots or are close to me but I felt really well with him being so close to me.

I rested my head on his shoulder while his arm is always around me. I took on my comfy jacket and sat back down to him. My left and his free right hand, since the other one was around my shoulder, carefully touched each other’s and stroked the other one carefully. It was so lovely and careful, such slow movements that I fell in love with small touches he gave me. I changed my sitting position from a regular one into sideways, so that I sat sideways on the bench and he was behind me. He turned a little sideways too until he placed his arms close around me and came closer so that he could hold me even better and we sat like that for another while until it got pretty late and we had to stand up and had to leave to the center again to get to my tram and for him to get to the main train station.

As we reached the huge grass place again, out of the park, he stopped and placed himself in front of me, saying I have to wait for a second, that he just has to cuddle me a little more.. He hugged me and I knew he wanted to kiss me.

I just knew it.

And it happened.

We kissed.

Well, it was more a peck, a 2 second kiss you know. And he smiled at me. I did too. I was just seriously too shy.. we kept walking to the center regularly and there it was.

The place where we had to say goodbye.

And I just hugged him. We kissed shortly and we backed away at first. But I looked at him and didn’t want to let him go yet so I came closer to him again and touched his hips. He carefully placed his hands on my jawline to let me look up to him with the help of his hands and he gave me another kiss on my lips. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he kissed my cheek once more and I kissed his neck.

Then we both left.

I never thought that something as beautiful as this was could happen to me ever again. I’ve been feeling dead cold for all the past months. Feeling like a machine. Standing up, going to school, just to be working. And not enjoying life.

As I came home, we both thanked