Just recently heard the phrase “Shyness is arrogance” which I find to be total bullshit. I wasn’t shy because I thought too much of myself.
Similarly, I find “Shyness is petty” to be unrealistic. I do find it more reasonable, considering I conflate how I imagine others view me with how I feel about myself, especially in confrontational environments and situations or whenever I’m spotlighted.
My shyness is more rooted in my anxiety. I shy away from social interactions to protect what confidence I have in myself. The confidence I have cultivated I rooted in my individuality, who I am when I am alone or with those I am close with.
My image is not threatened when I’m shy or anxious. My “I don’t give a shit” is threatened. My confidence is threatened. The shell I keep around my self-image is threatened.
That’s why I’m shy. My masking has constructed layers of shell around me, each new layer shielding it’s predecessor, and more shells become encased in the growing center.
I want to feel like I can completely unmask, deshell, and be comfortable without shielding myself from imaginary judgments. I should be confident in my individuality and actually not give a shit when my individuality shows.