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Does my adhd really exist if im undiagnosed and the only peer review ive gotten is also by an undiagnosed friend
But like
Ive taken atleast 35+ tests since i came to know (in uhhhh...2024? Idk maybe before i have weak memory)
And the scores are always like 18/20, 90/100,81/100, 87/100 etcetc
Does it count
Help
I hope i can find atleast one diagnosed person to judge me so that i can feel validated one day
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I just put my phone down to move on to the next task finally, then was like, hey wait. What time is it?
Proceeded to pick up my phone and get sucked into distraction traction again for indiscriminate length of time (time blindness what?).
Finally put my phone down again and realized... I still don't know what time it is. I never checked the time.
Anyone else fall asleep to death metal because you can't fall asleep to silence, but music has words that you can understand so your brain follows them and starts trying to understand the songs story and now you can't fall asleep because you're researching it's meaning at midnight, and white noise isn't bumping enough? Anyone else?
I think I might have autism
Having whatever tf i have is being really overwhelmed by loud classmates and locking up instead of writing an essay and then shouting nonsense at nothing when you get home
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I have videos and animatics to finish, drawings to complete, and requests to write and little to no motivation 😭
Just recently heard the phrase “Shyness is arrogance” which I find to be total bullshit. I wasn’t shy because I thought too much of myself.
Similarly, I find “Shyness is petty” to be unrealistic. I do find it more reasonable, considering I conflate how I imagine others view me with how I feel about myself, especially in confrontational environments and situations or whenever I’m spotlighted.
My shyness is more rooted in my anxiety. I shy away from social interactions to protect what confidence I have in myself. The confidence I have cultivated I rooted in my individuality, who I am when I am alone or with those I am close with.
My image is not threatened when I’m shy or anxious. My “I don’t give a shit” is threatened. My confidence is threatened. The shell I keep around my self-image is threatened.
That’s why I’m shy. My masking has constructed layers of shell around me, each new layer shielding it’s predecessor, and more shells become encased in the growing center.
I want to feel like I can completely unmask, deshell, and be comfortable without shielding myself from imaginary judgments. I should be confident in my individuality and actually not give a shit when my individuality shows.
