#attack hydrant

We always thought it was the robots that would revolt — that our toasters would try to kill us and out televisions would suddenly be consumed by thoughts of murder. But no, it was the plumbing.

It started with the sinks. Either nothing would come out but the occasional rusty drop of they’d sputter out of control, flooding. The toilets, of course, were a nightmare. A sea of liquid shit belching up across the city all at once, flooding floors and emergency help lines. We were wading in filth, with no easy access to water to clean it.

Then, the fires started. It had been a dry week, and the taps and showers had been less reliable than ever, and it seemed everything around us had gone to reeking tinder.

Fireflghters, exhausted and dirty as they were, came roaring up to the blazes, sirens shrieking. But when they tried to connect the hoses to the hydrants, those fat little sentries laughed and refused.