Atsuka: Scout, listen, I get that things between us are a bit tense, but I need your help. You're one of the few people on the team who actually talks to Sniper normally, and he's already put me on my ass twice. Help me get back at him, and I'll owe you one. So, what do you say? Deal?
Scout: O-ho-ho, hell no! Atsuka, I'm not suicidal, going after him is asking for a beating! Besides, why the hell would I help you?! Forget how you beat the crap out of me last time? And he's like a brother to me, and I ain't ever betraying my bros. So don't even bother, I'm not falling for your tricks, go find some other sucker!
Atsuka *leaves*: Eh, fine... And here I was gonna, AS A FRIEND, help you score with Miss Pauling after this... Well, if you don't need that, I'll be off, find myself "another sucker" ((
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Scout: W-wait! Hey Atsuka, hold on! What do you mean by that? Not that I'm like, in love with her or anything... But what the hell are you talking about!!!
Atsuka: Tomorrow we're going to a bar with Hachiko and Miss Pauling, and basically, I could start a conversation about guys, what type she likes, and, of course, I'd tell you, as a friend. You're so obviously head over heels for her. But hey, you're not interested, bros before hoes, right?
Scout: ALRIGHT! FINE, GODDAMMIT, I'M IN! So what's the plan?
Atsuka: Oh-ho-ho, I'll tell you everything right now, just listen carefully)
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*Some time later*
Scout: Yo! Hey Snipe, what's up?
Sniper: Huh?! Scout, that you? G'day, just checking the perimeter.
Scout: Gotcha. See the game yesterday? What'd you think?
Sniper: Yeah, saw it. Honestly, wish I hadn't, how the hell can you screw up that bad? A bloody kangaroo would've played better.
Scout: Agreed! They'll let anyone in these days, what are they even hoping for? Like they're in some sports comedy where everyone magically wins at the end, but nope ((
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Sniper: Well, those comedies are at least funny, but in real life, nothing's fucking funny... Hey, you seen Atsuka around? Haven't seen her all day, not by her van, not at the garage.
Scout: N-no! No, haven't seen her... Why you keeping tabs on her anyway? Got a crush or something? Ha-ha-ha. Or is your paranoia acting up?
Sniper: Scout, you want your tongue cut out? No! Engineer asked me to find her. He needs her for some job and can't reach her.
(Atsuka: Be there soon, give me 10.)
(Engineer: Alright, but you're working double for this.)
Sniper: Besides, it's no trouble for me. Stuck on base anyway, gives me something different to do. Plus, it's no sweat off my back, and Dell appreciates it. Honestly, no idea how he works with that little gremlin. But he's a tough bloke, he'll manage)
Atsuka: SCOUT, NOW!
Sniper: WHOA! What the...
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Scout: Sorry, bro. But it's gotta be this way. ((
Atsuka: Thanks, Scouty, good work. Info's coming your way, like we agreed. Now your turn, Sniper. Taste my humiliation... HEY! HARRY! I'M TRYING TO GIVE A SPEECH HERE!
Scout: Ats! Hurry it up! I can't hold him much longer! Shit, Snipe, you're heavy as hell...
Atsuka: Alright, no time to waste, I've got precious little of it. So, let's begin)
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Atsuka: Oh, come on! Are you gonna laugh or not?!
Sniper:*Cough*, f-fuck you, gremlins! Your pathetic pokes and tickles won't get me to crack. So let go right now, before I...
...
Scout: Ats, try his neck, maybe that'll work?
Sniper: *HaHAha* Scout, y-you're dead!
Atsuka: Aw, how cute! Hahaha, Snipe, you look like an ostrich, hiding your neck, but I'll get to it anyway, heh. Come on, don't hide, is it that ticklish? Though I've got a better idea) What cute little ears...
Sniper: BACK OFF! You hear me, you little shits?! You've lost your damn minds?! Had your fun, now let me go!
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*GRAB*
Atsuka: GO ON, TRY KICKING ME NOW!
Sniper: Oh, fuck... A-alright, you two, sorry, I didn't mean it. Let me go, and maybe I won't even beat the shit out of you.
Scout: Ooh! He's backing down!
Atsuka: Nope, Snipe, you're not getting off that easy. Take this!
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Atsuka: Scout, wanna try?
Sniper: SCOUT! DON'T YOU DARE!!
Scout: I'd love to, but I'll get my ass kicked if I join in, he'll kill me!
Atsuka: Aw, come on, that's a problem for later. Besides, we can respawn, so Go!
Scout: Ah, what the hell, screw it. Hey, this is actually fun, hah)
Demoman: What the bloody hell are those noises?
Hachiko: I don't know, but none of our business.
Atsuka: Yeaaah! We rock, give me five!!
*SLAP*
Scout: Hell yeah, totally worth it!
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Sniper: You do know I pissed myself, right?
Atsuka: Ew! FUCK! That's disgusting!!
Sniper: Haha, Just kidding) What? Wait! HahaHA I'll seriously piss myself!! *Pfft* HAHAHAHAHAHA
