“I’m really not in the mood for this...” he said to himself around a sigh that was bordering on a frustrated growl, phone tucked between his shoulder and ear--dead and cut off mind conversation as he slammed the trunk of his car shut with more FORCE than needed. 

                                 @atnoctum​     /     james  s.                               ʟɪᴋᴇᴅ .

loki knew to watch his tongue with this one.  she’s dangerous, not one to put up with any funny business.  straight to the point.  as much as he’d like to have a little fun, he knows his limits.  

- Insomniac’s Peter Parker ( for all the shit he went through in the game alone with all the betrayals and loses he had to go through. he lost his parents, he lost his aunt and uncle, he lost his mentor, he lost his friend, two friends at that, he lost his girlfriend for a time as well. he feels guilty for failing to save miles’ dad, he feels guilty for not seeing otto’s change sooner, he had to choose between the city and his aunt, his only friend in the police force turned on him, the person he looked up to in the homeless shelter became a villain. he almost died at least twice and he still felt the need to keep going, because he fears failure. he learnt his best friend had been critically ill and he feels bad for not seeing it sooner. he was branded a fugitive. blamed for the Raft breakout and Devils Breath and hunted by Sable International. he carries the weight of the world on his shoulders ) - Harley Quinn ( i don’t need to explain this one ) - Clementine ( she was just a kid when the apocalypse begun. she lost her family, she lost her friends, she lost everyone she cared about and she had to raise a toddler by herself. she even nearly died and now she has to adjust to having one leg. she was the voice of reason in all the groups she was in, and she had to watch each of them end in death or watch them tear themselves apart. she tried so hard to keep people together and tried to stop people fighting but in the end, she’s just a child. there’s only so much she can do. she tried so hard to be there for kenny and she can’t help but feel guilty for everything that happened to him. ) - Castiel ( just a soldier of god that was treated like shit by his friends and family, abandoned by his father, cast out and hunted by his siblings, and forbidden from ever entering heaven again after falling for humanity and giving everything to them. he killed his siblings to protect the winchesters, he died several times, he sacrificed, he bled. he asked for help and got turned away. lost his powers, tried to right wrongs, and was still scolded. if anyone deserves better, Castiel takes the cake of them all ) - The Doctor ( i can’t speak for the very early seasons but this is a person who thought they destroyed their own planet and wiped out their own race, they struggled through all the stages of grief, they struggled through depression and suicidal thoughts ( primarily with 12 ), they struggled with themselves, with each regeneration ( again, primarily with 12 ), and they outlive everyone they take on as companions, as friends. They lose them time and time again and it breaks their hearts every single time. They try their best to save people and their loses weigh heavy on them. 12 was constantly pushed to keep on going even when he was so tired. He wanted peace. And he was denied that. Though he pushed through and regenerated into 13 and by god is she trying her hardest but you can still see the sadness behind her eyes. She lost her planet again, she lost years of her life, she’s lost and hurting and angry but she’s still honouring 12. )

--- I like to believe that once luck runs out---            .... Ya’ simply go to the luck-store and buy some more...                           U N L E S S  you play it stupid-             .... I mean, you might not need luck then---                 --- But ya’ might need a  L A W Y E R -- Hey!   ❞

“The things i would do to get a hold of a guitar here...would raise morale..don’t you think? “ He added while looking at the other across the campfire. “ That or just..anything that plays music..”

Despite creating a blog for Pyramid Head, his relation to James is probably the most intimidating aspect for me to explore because I feel like so much has already been said... like the wealth of video essays... PH simultaneously being James’ reflection and anti-reflection, forcing him to confront his SINS by re-expressing and reenacting those sins  in the most unforgiving way possible... (James’ frustration at his wife being too ill to have sex with / PH abusing mannequins, James killing Mary / PH killing Maria).           I’m currently replaying SH2  and upon first encountering PH it made me think about the initial antagonism between the two. Before PH, James’ encounters with monsters have been geared towards self-defence, the only one you have to actually kill to progress the plot is the very first Lying Figure when James finds the radio, then, from that point on, you can avoid them. PH is the first monster who James attacks in a cutscene - out of the player’s control - and I was surprised that he opted to not hide and go on the offence by shooting Pyramid Head from the closet... (although I’m not sure if the scene plays out differently if you don’t have the handgun). This is probably the first sure sign of James outright refusing to face the reality of murdering Mary.           However I DO think the crux of James’ crime was not just that he murdered the woman he vowed to love and cherish until death do them part, but that her last moments were spent in fear because her husband took her life away and she was powerless to fight back. Maybe he knew she wouldn’t be able to because of her illness, taking advantage of her sickness to relieve her of it. Not only that, but him trying to forget... Regardless, there is a clear abuse of trust that has tainted - if not, destroyed their bond - which is what marks James as deserving of punishment rather than the sole act of killing her; thus what Pyramid Head represents contains multitudes...          As for James’ redemption, I think it’s interesting that in the game’s true / good ending, Laura is symbolic of forgiveness for James’ crimes. It makes sense with her being a child - she is wholly innocent and represents the first semblance of a future, one in which James presumably gets a second chance at life. Comparing Laura and Pyramid Head, the juxtaposition cements that Pyramid Head’s place in James’ narrative is to exhume the trauma he has perpetrated, suffered and repressed. PH is the most harrowing step of James’ self-actualisation, the most ‘cruel to be kind’ aspect, relentlessly forcing James to admit his wrongdoing and embodying the fear and pain that James inflicted upon his wife and himself.           If James rejects Pyramid Head then he is doomed to stay in Silent Hill and listen to Pyramid Head’s avant garde noise band forever !!!