Nov 23, 2025
oscar burger people gonna have to change their rules to include dsqs now
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oscar burger people gonna have to change their rules to include dsqs now
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carlos hearing all of this and pulling oscar into a corner and patting him very kindly on the back while oscar is panicking and red-cheeked, and carlos goes, "drank some truth serum, i take it? don't worry, we've all done it before. just stick behind me, i won't let anyone ask you anymore stupid questions," and oscar dumbly follows along, wondering if he should say he didn't drink anything
thank you @testarossa and @magnificentbirb for tagging me to share my 2025 fic graveyard... here are some ideas that resulted in a page or two in the docs and never got anywhere after:
i thought i woulda actually finished this one, but the snowboarding fic happened instead. after the 2025 wdc loss, oscar, incapable of asking carlos for comfort in any human terms, waits outside carlos's apartment as an orange bothered cat. and then of course, the cat follows carlos home.
“Hi,” Carlos said. “Hello, kitten.” It was orange with white patches on its paws. There was a tuft of fur that stuck out at the top of its head that looked as if it wanted to jump out and land elsewhere. And its expression—for lack of a better word to describe it, was affronted. “Aren’t you little,” Carlos said, crouching down, and reaching out a hand tentatively. Hiss. “Alright,” he said. “You’re a cat, not a kitten. You’re not little. You’re a big boy.” Meow.
i did want to expand on the carcar tlou au but the actual tlou season 2 annoyed me very greatly, having thrown away (in my opinion) so much of the impact it had in season 1. i've sadly lost interest in this one for now.
Old habits die hard. “Papa?” Carlos whispers in the open doorway, his voice sounding frailer than he can bear. Oscar is two full steps behind and hopefully doesn’t hear. Carlos slaps himself on the cheek. Physically slaps himself. Hard. The days are starting to feel like a deadly coin toss. He’s going to get Oscar killed like this. He’ll die before he gets Oscar killed. “Carlos,” Oscar says, shocked. His hand is around Carlos’s wrist in an instant. Warmer than anything Carlos can remember. “What are you doing?”
i had a very short carcar ufc au that didn't make it outta anywhere but the dms. oscar vs max for a title fight, with carlos in oscar's corner. oscar stumbles out of the second to last round so bloody and beaten carlos is this close to stopping the fight. and then the power of love prevails.
Carlos’s fingertips are light on Oscar’s swelling cheek. “Want me to stop the fight?” “Fuck you,” Oscar says, laughter bubbling out like something surprised and scared. “Don’t you fucking dare.”
no pressure tagging @janinaduszejko @brushedbymelancholy @seaplease @clachnaben @steviethenarwhal if you would like to play! <3
general insanity anon here you mean i'm being ASKED to demand you write and share?? too good an opportunity to pass up have three 🎁🎁🎁
“I thought that last year of Ferrari was the worst thing I’d ever go through,” Carlos said.
If Carlos turned around and said, actually, Oscar was the worst thing he’d ever gone through, Oscar would have to, he’d have to. Leave, probably. Go out and spend another night on the porch, shivering and sad to make up for his existence, a blight on Carlos’s life.
“I was stupid,” Carlos said, shaking his head slightly. “Worst thing? Ferrari doesn’t even come close.”
Then he squinted at Oscar’s pathetic face.
“No, it’s not you,” Carlos said crossly. “Of course you’d think it’s you. Idiot.”
hey no wait. SOULMATE AU. hear me out: the soulmate marks are a potentially random exchange between the soulmates (skewed for beginnings/endings of conversations and/or first meetings, but there aren't hard and fast rules) and carlos has "in a while, crocodile". maybe this only appeared around the time he switched to williams which is why he suddenly gets this habit of saying "see you later, alligator"!! and oscar, whose mark says "see you later, alligator", is sort of physically incapable of not replying "in a while, crocodile" when he hears it, even if it's carlos saying it. and therefore!!
IMAGINE HOW ANNOYED THEY WOULD BE WHEN IT HAPPENS
ohhhhhh..... wonderful.....................
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oh... it's the dakar... the time of the year that the most fuckable old man gets all his famous son's famous coworkers trying to fuck him...
truly the appeal of carlos sainz sr cannot be understated
actor!!! au!!!!!!
carlos when he first started out all lost like bambi at the film fest and then when eventually, finally, a stunt category is created, here comes oscar and it's his turn to look uncomfortable in a suit and very, very lost, and carlos jettisons to him the moment he sees oscar and has his arm out and is gallant about it and leads oscar all around and then carlos misses out on an award but oscar wins in the stunt category and afterwards at the after party they leave early and carlos says congratulations a little wryly, and oscar responds i don't do this for the awards, just as wryly, and then carlos goes well what do you do this for, and oscar goes well for the fast cars and the broken bones, and for the look on your face when i let you do your own stunts, and then they lean in and
i want to write a carteto fic in which teto gets cursed to lose all his jokes or his funniness, and then it's like:
“Try again,” Gigi says, as encouraging as he can be with his eyebrows turned all the way down with—worry? Anxiety? “Maybe we just weren’t ready.”
Carlos and Rebecca lean in. Add claustrophobia to the list of curses he’s been struck with. Teto is nervous in a way he hasn’t been with them since, since. He doesn’t remember ever being nervous with them. Fuck. He hates the feeling with a passion. He opens his mouth and--
and then i get stuck because i google jokes that would fall flat and it's like: