#asujima

Asuka leaned over the railing of the building she was in and looked at the neon-lit world below. From where she stood, the world looked enveloped in a neon red haze, and the passing of cars and people sounded faint and small, like she was a curious child over an ant hill.

It was the closest thing she would get to peace and quiet for a while.

“Makes ya feel like a giant, doesn’t it?” a familiar voice asked as Majima, Asuka's mentor and close friend, appeared beside her, lighting a cigarette and taking a slow drag.

“Ah! Jesus–” Asuka jumped a little at Majima’s sudden appearance.

“You should know better than to sneak up on someone like that! If you were anybody else, I would have decked you!” Asuka scolded.

Majima shrugged, brushed off the younger girl’s scolding, and took another drag.

The wind whipped around the girl’s hair, and she pulled her leather jacket tighter around herself.

“Honestly, it makes me feel like a god being up here and seeing the people look so small below,” Asuka finally answered.

Majima nodded as if to say fair point. Both went back to a semi-uncomfortable silence. Asuka took a deep breath and let out a contented sigh with her head tilted back.

“Been a while since ya stopped to catch yer breath?” Majima inquired as he side-eyed her.

“Ugh, you have no idea. It mostly just feels good; a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Didn’t know I needed that closure fifteen years later,” Asuka still had her head back before moving back upright, referring to a recent confrontation that brought closure to a long-standing issue.

“I didn’t mean to get you involved in my bullshit,” Asuka looked down in shame. It was her way of apologizing.

“Don’t be. From the looks of it, it was important,” Majima brushed away her apology. He didn’t care for her rule of not fighting her battles for her. He was just glad he stepped in when he did. At least she made it out and was safe.

“It was important I was fighting to–” Asuka cut herself off, debating how much she should say. She was fighting to protect someone she cared about deeply. She was fighting to ensure they wouldn’t get to said person. She was fighting to protect him.

“You were fighting like you were in love from the looks of it,” Majima pointed out.

Asuka scoffed, partially due to pride and to throw him off. Mostly, she was the one caught off guard.

“Me? In love? Never!” Asuka let out a huff and stuck her nose up at the accusation. Asuka Sasaki cares for and loves no one except a select few people.

…And one of those people just so happened to be him.

“Ya ever been in love?” the older man inquired as he flicked the ash and watched it fall below like dark snow.

“I wouldn’t know, I’ve never been in love with anyone. I mean, I’ve had a few crushes, but I have never truly fallen hard for someone before,” Asuka quietly admitted, her past experiences with love being mostly disappointing and unfulfilling.

Until she met him.

“Besides, it’s not like I’ve had good relationships modeled for me in my life, I wouldn’t even know what to look for,” Asuka finished, returning to her arrogant self as she pushed herself off the railing before returning to her original position.

“Well, what do you think love is?”

The question took aback Asuka. Truthfully, she never gave the concept too much thought. She simply held no interest in it, and it didn’t belong in her way of life. She enjoys the way she is too much to give that up for someone, and there was always too much on her plate to even entertain the idea. She thought of her parents’ relationship. One constantly gave and the other took, and there was no switch. One constantly gave all of themselves, destroying who they were in the process, to see the other happy, and it was never enough. She thought of her grandparents. It was the same thing. Only it was her grandmother who constantly screamed and took while her grandfather worshipped the ground she walked on and still loved her deeply. She guessed they’ve been married for so long and have been through so much together that they simply don’t know what to do without each other. And her aunt and uncle, well, they were both awful people towards others and each other, so they deserved each other.

Needless to say, Asuka has a poor understanding of the concept. She blinked a few times with a puzzled expression before beginning to speak.

“Love is– Love is–” Asuka tried to start many sentences, but failed. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. To hell with other relationships before her. She knew how she felt about the man before her, and it wasn’t how the others in her life thought about each other. She decided to go based on what she felt.

“Love is having someone by your side. Love is having someone in your corner, and you and theirs. Love is having someone who makes the bad things bearable and the good things even better. Love is being there for someone through thick and thin and accepting them for who and what they are, flaws and all. Love is someone you can go through life crises with and do domestic things like laundry and taxes. Love is no matter how bad things get, you always have someone to go home to at the end of the day,” Asuka rambled on before realizing that Majima was listening intently. Asuka’s face flushed red as she was second-guessing herself. She thought that he thought she was being childish and naive. She felt she had to save herself and the conversation, then she eyed his cigarette.

“Love is like the filter at the end of a cigarette,” Asuka continued.

Majima raised an eyebrow.

“It helps filter the bad stuff when you smoke somewhat. Love doesn’t make the bad things go away, and I’m not asking to be protected from all things; that's just unreasonable to ask of anyone. But life seems to be slightly better and easier if you have someone going through life with you.” Asuka finished.

She figured they would both do better with a metaphor they would understand, especially in their work. To Majima, she was hoping to be like the filter of his cigarette, and to her, she was hoping Majima would be like the chaser to her drink.

Majima tilted his head in agreement as if she had a point.

“I’m real sorry fer what happened to ya,” Majima finally said after some time.

“Don’t be. That stuff happened ages ago,” Asuka shrugged, thinking it wasn’t a big deal. But secretly, she was happy that someone finally acknowledged her hurt after all this time.

“Still, ya shouldn’t have had to see the pitch black of the world. ‘Specially as a young kid.”

“Doesn’t matter, besides, it’s not so bad, especially if someone is holding your hand in the dark with you.” Asuka gave him that adorable head tilt and a smile that said she was far from over.

Majima stammered and stared at her with a light blush creeping along his cheeks to his ears.

It was then he understood what she was trying to say all this time.

Majima grumbled and looked away. That was before he interlocked their pinkies and swung their hands slightly.

Asuka gasped and looked down at the bigger hand in hers, and her face got even redder. She looked at Majima, who seemed oblivious to her reaction as he was blowing smoke out. The cigarette was nothing but a nub, but he was trying to make this moment last. Neither of them wanted to go just yet.

It was then that Asuka finally understood what he was trying to say all this time as well.