#asujanek

Me: @gastonthejr, fucking duh.

@tobiasslade: He’s so far up @hookedonharriet‘s asshole there’s no way he could make it work with anyone else. 

@ririhiss: I don’t know, it seems like fun irony or something to have her end up with a Sherwood kid. Maybe @marykatehood or @jojohood, they’re the only ones I could see being a pirate.

@janekensingtons: I don’t care what happens to that weird looking bitch. She can end up with another weird looking bitch like @aimeeblake or something.

@racheladale: Ugh, human sunshine. I can’t even deal with how energetic she is, but @casperlockex seems to be able to deal with her and he’s one of the few AKs who I don’t hate, so... have at her, buddy.

@fredcilier: The Isle’s softest bitch, just who I wanted to talk about today. Can she just lick @anthonytremaines abs for the rest of time so she’s too busy to be running her mouth in other ways?

@jojohood: Ugh, I just talked about her. Fine, fuck her sister, she definitively gets @ririhiss.

@vitani-okoro: I’ve got no fucking clue what V’s looking for, maybe some guy to be a tourney power couple with? @jaynassar or @felixstabby, Isle kids only for someone as cool as her.

@ariliki: Uh... Why do you think I pay attention to these people? Just because I’m on teams with them? I don’t fuck with them and they don’t fuck with me! @ariliki‘s about as irrelevant to me as like... @dougdeppert, so there, match made in boring irrelevant heaven. 

Not gonna lie, if Jay ever wanted to give old Malsy the slip, I wouldn’t say no to having him around. Usually I’m not into deserters, but when that’s who you’re deserting, I think you get a free pass.

Some other decent future pirates include: 

@sailormoonhawkins

@marykatehood

@li-lonnie

@andreatriton

@janekensingtons

@orthbrt

@maisy-macguffin

@katie-kluck

@jessgibbs 

The following characters have been dropped due to lack of muse. Please unfollow:

@beyondthesmee (Mr. Smee)

@harperofsherwood (Little John)

@janekensington (Wendy Darling)

@jaynassar (Jafar)

@kiontaji (Simba &Nala)

@li-lonnie (Mulan & Shang)

@portiaratigan (Professor Ratigan)

@staceytriton (Alana)

The following characters have been dropped due to lack of muse. Please unfollow:

@abigailpendragon (King Arthur)

@drewlympus (Hercules & Meg)

@jacksondoppler (Doppler & Captain Amelia)

@janekensingtons (Wendy)

@jaynassar (Jafar)

@madmaddymims (Madam Mim)

@sonnylemons (Honey Lemon)

@thepresleyslim (Alameda Slim)

Night: @winskellingtwin, I’m not good enough at keeping secrets to steal someone else’s girl over and over again! 

Month: @janekensingtons! She’s an adventurerererer. 

Life: @ganiambrosius. How. Exciting. And Cool.

No: @jojohood.

Mega No: @janekensingtons.

Littler No?: @ririhiss.

@darlingemily claims she’s always up for an adventure, and though I haven’t been able to discern her sexuality yet, I’ll be veering away from a boring heterosexual choice for her -- mostly because there aren’t any ‘adventurous’ boys her age in the adventure club. For Emily, I nominate @ariliki.

@dannykensington has expressed his preferences, so I at least know that choosing a male for him is the right path! However, while in Emily’s case I chose someone just as adventurous as she is, in Danny’s perhaps he needs someone to level him out a bit. Because of that, I’m nominating @javierchvez. Yes, I know he’s purportedly taken, but is it so terrible to want a chef to be in the family someday?

@janekensingtons and @icemasterbents would be an absolutely gorgeous couple and I will not be taking any further questions at this time.