#asphodelproject

It is the secret in his wine And the river's poem Misses how the air felt Before the unannounced end 

are turning terribly vague right in front of me;

my best days are 4 to 6 years ago,

but a new sun is rising, and it’s brighter

than any other star i’ve seen before.

after the rebirth, how do you live?

the freedom to breathe again

allows for the threat of suffocation

to take place; now i’m afraid of the daylight

‘cause the sunrise has been treating me well

– all pink and orange, just as vibrant

as i remember it from back then –,

and i’m mainly alive in the moments

where everything either falls apart

or starts unfolding.

did i mistake the main part for the prelude?

i only make fatal mistakes;

and i end up in one of two states:

eternally grateful, deeply frustrated.

everything i have now was once a fantasy,

but i raise the bar quickly, it’s spilling out of me

like water from a broken glass.

i’m praying for a life that fills my lungs with air,

measuring the amount of grey clouds on a pain scale

(moderate to severe);

my suffering will never make me famous,

so i might as well live a life

of happy mediocrity.

repetition, my curse, i’m learning my lessons;

Each forged morning Life kept dying; Emptiness perverts the beauty of chance 

Real only to body and language, I was only ever gentle  With one of them

Worlds upon worlds  And I still look too human Still, still — Between the god of resolve and the sun A lingering echo A dream of ink, both dissolving in water 

Spider on my ceiling I am watching your prey

This is already my second life  Only my second, and so I am terrified of the dark; Cold sunrises teach me to see They peek from under their veils, and Come in silence, the way only Hiding in between is silent 

The Moon has been jumping through the sky Her callous stolen light  It whispers: 'you cannot trust your eyes'

Jagged skies Unravelling unease 

I dream of freedom I reach down my ribcage; The fur feels soft, but the animal — it just wants to die 

I wanted to fly so he broke my legs 

He let me see clouds, made me believe  They taste of something sacred, that they Will stay, speak truth for me  That I was not born That I was just mist 

More and more poison And none of it will bring The innocence of dusks back 

There is no sun to wake up to And yet I am not granted nights  Patience, presence  Between the teeth of frustration