#askyusukeurameshi

You remember when you sent Hokushin and three others to fetch me? They were wearing something on their chest and back that hid their true energy and made them appear like D-class demons. That thing was freaky as hell! It was like a beating heart of some sort. At least, that's what it looked like. That's how they got to Human World almost completely unnoticed. Maybe you could find whatever they used and put it on. It should make you appear like a lower D-class demon.

Well, hell, what's he waiting for? I'm ready for anything at this point.

Mom was Chatty Cathy tonight.

She asked an array of questions, too.

Never mind the old aged typical questions like "How long is he staying?" and "Where will he be sleeping?"

No, she prodded me in a different way.

What she once reserved for Keiko she now expresses over Kuwabara.

"What's your sign?" She asked him firstly.

Then; "What's your favorite color? I see you like blue."

And then add the other Q's came spewing forth, rolling off her damn tongue.

"Do you like my son?"

"How much do you like my son?"

"Are you two going to share the same bed?"

"Sleep under the same covers?"

"Are you two going to lock yourselves in Yusuke's bedroom tonight and make-out?"

"Are you two going to have sex?"

"Will you both be using protection?"

After I told her to quit her shit, to just drop it-

She then coolly added; "Oh, I see you brought your cat. I'm not changing its litter box. Yusuke can do that. You're his boyfriend, Yusuke."

And Kuwabara was just... quiet.

Jeeze, thanks, mom. Goddammit, woman.

Then she suggested we go out and watch a movie because she needed the living room for her "friends" whom she usually hangs out with.

Yeah, the guys in drag she invites over. Her "drinking buddies" as I call them. The bitch likes to get high and takes all day the next day to dry the fuck out.

*Sigh*

We're not going to watch a movie tonight, though.

We're meeting up with Kurama and Hiei, whether Kuwabara likes it or not.

Me and Kuwabara are having...

Ginger Beef Stir-Fry With Ramen!

Mmm. This is one of my favorites, along with Beef Curry. Best use of Ramen ever conceived in my opinion.

Bon Appétit!

Yeah, I still own my noodle stand. I haven't given that up even though I broke up with my ex.

I'm just not getting my hustle on today.

I've got more important matters to attend to right now besides "making dough".

So, anyway... Yeah, so you know.

And I still own my Ancestor's palace back in Demon World...

Makes me wonder what the old skeleton will say about all this that has transpired...

Shock maybe?

Nah, he doesn't seem the type to be.

He's too much of a damn kook and a bastard to be moved by such occurrences.

Then my mind moves to...

Kuwabara.

How different will he be when his past self is awoken? Already, he's a pain in the ass, kinda like me...

But he's a Chaos Deity. A Trickster...

Kitsune Demons are tricksters, right?

And Yoko Kurama...

Can be terrifying a fuck on his own.

Yeeeeaaaah...

But I just HATE technology!

"High Tech" my ass!

When will they ever make something that reads your mind for you and jots down everything you desire so you don't have to? Or a machine that paints the pictures you see in your head? How about movies done this way?

...Eh, then again I guess that would all be a bad thing, right?

Hmm?

Sorry... I dozed off.

[...I think I blew up a school...]

I did not sleep last night.

Why?

Well, for starters...

Kuwabara moved in to live with me last night.

Why?

After he broke out of the worst prison imaginable, no fucking doubt, he really had no place else to go. His place was not an option. Hell no!

So... We talked and talked until he clunked the hell out, which happened within 30 minutes of him finally arriving at my place. Surprised, huh?

No, the major reason why I didn't sleep last night is...

I'm a fucking night owl.

...Shhh. it's a secret...

Chill.

So, as he slept, I was in the living room playing video games.

🖕😁🖕

My mom, fortunately, had already passed out by the time Kuwabara and I got to my place. Pfft. Empty bottles were all around her, everywhere, as usual. Old bitch even fell asleep with a cigarette...

Like so.

How my damn apartment does not go up in smoke like the last ones, dammit, I don't know.

Funny, my mom was never behind any of those damn incidences. The first time, some asshole decided to play arsonist while my body laid happlessly like the corpse it practically was... The second time, Sensui "The Super Dick" blew up what was my next apartment!

Ugh. I am not ready to move again, mom!

Then again...

Maybe we should move?

Now that Kuwabara is staying with me, I need a bigger place.

I need a three bedroom apartment now.

Eh, I'll check the damn papers or "the internet" for a new crib.

...

**GETS HOME > CHANGES CLOTHES > MAKES FOOD STUFF...**

IT'S LUNCH TIME! DAMN, I'M STARVED!

On today's menu...

Washoku!

A traditional dish that one cannot do wrong by serving your guests with!

I should really ask the Big Lug what he wants next time, eh?

Nah.

He'll have to speak up on his own if he wants something.

...What?

STUPID DIAPER RASH SUCKING ON HIS FUCKING BINKY!

KUWABARA IS ALREADY LOOSE!

HE'S RIGHT HERE WITH ME!

LOSER!

LOOK IN THE DICTIONARY!

THAT'S YOU! RIGHT THERE!