#askshwe

Oh man. The first time I felt this in my last relationship, I woke up wanting to shout it out to the whole universe. I felt it all throughout my body. Similar to when you are so angry, all you feel is anger in every part of your body and all you see is red? Except it’s love, and it makes you feel warm all over. It was the wildest feeling. He had told me he loved me a few weeks prior, and I wasn’t quite there yet. Here’s how I can best describe what happened: it was as if the feelings were brewing inside of my stomach for sometime, and on a random early morning around 7 am, it bubbled up to my chest, then out my mouth. It literally woke me up from my sleep. The first thing I muttered to him still half asleep were the words I love you. As if those words, those feelings had a mind of their own and jumped out of me. Nothing could’ve stopped it. Short answer: I just knew. There was no questioning about it, no doubts. And for some weird reason, I wanted to tell everyone about it (maybe this is only true because the feelings were mutual).

A situation that reinforced these feelings were when things got difficult (hard conversations, miscommunications, feeling under appreciated/undervalued, unmet needs, etc) and it became hard to love him in the moment, the “in love” feeling overshadowed any negative emotions I had toward him. In other words, I knew I was in love with him because I loved him despite how much I disliked him in that moment.

Other ways I knew I was in love/situations that helped me realize:

Catching myself smiling throughout the day when I think of him

Genuinely wanting to know how he is doing/feeling

Wanting to provide anything and everything for him

Knowing I can be completely myself around him and still be adored

Wanting to share all the happy experiences with him

Seeing him interact with my friends, family, people in general

Feeling completely safe and at peace when he is around

Having fun doing absolutely nothing with him

I'd love to have a conversation with you! Feel free to message me on Facebook if we're Facebook friends :)

This was a rant, and I'm sorry for that. Have you ever made a mistake that you can't shake? Do you think the constant reminders and guilt are deserved? I'm asking you because I just know you're thoughtful and true, and your inspiring growth through the years makes me long for more in myself.

This is one of the kindest things anyone's ever said to me.

I've been having a hard time lately, this message means more than you know. Thank you for reaching out.

I mean this wholeheartedly as well -- every single one of us deserves the forgiveness of others, especially one from yourself. No one is free of actions that have hurt others. It's part of the human condition. The only way forward is to sincerely apologize for those actions, and forgive yourself. You deserve to live a full, loving life regardless of your past mistakes. Not because you are any special, but because you are human.