#asks;hadley

Do you care what others think of you?

Yes, within reason. People I care about, that I've built relationships with, I care immensely about their opinions. Strangers, people I don't know well...I want to be known as a kind person as much as possible, but I won't stay up all night if someone I'm not trying to have be an integral part of my life doesn't like me.

Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it?

I won't have more than two drinks in a day. That's a non negotiable boundary for me. I just...have seen drinking to excess cause a lot of pain and bring out really ugly things from people and I'm not interested in getting close to that vibe at all. I like being slightly tipsy, do not want to be drunk.

When and with whom was your first kiss?

Veronica Stein in 7th grade. We had a study date that ended up feeling more like a hey I like you date. It was our first and last kiss. She didn't feel safe to come out with her parents and she said she didn't want to date girls until she'd moved out of their house and had privacy and independence. I was sad for me, I was really sad for her. I hope she got that independence though, carved out a safe space for herself and got to love who she wanted.

Do you have any allergies?

Seasonal allergies in the fall, they kick my ass with headaches and sinus pressure. I used to be allergic to cats as a kid and for a while I was absolutely devastated thinking my dreams of being a vet were done for. But surprisingly enough, perhaps sheer stubborn willpower and insistence to be around cats, I outgrew that allergy.

What is your favorite color?

I'm a big fan of green but my favorite is specifically Sage green which is like a grey-green inspired by the color dried sage leaves turn.

What is your favorite food?

I fucking love food so this is a hard question for me. If I'm going more affordable every day kinda food then it would probably be a good chicken parm. If we're talking nice meal out then I want to gorge on Korean BBQ. But also there's tacos....fucking really good street food...a philly cheesesteak....ny style pizza especially late at night. I...yeah...I like to eat.

What are your pet peeves?

Oh gosh, being left on read gives me so much anxiety. I know sometimes we get busy, not ready to talk about the topic, but I'd rather get a quick "I'll get back to you later" text than complete silence. Loud chewing gets me too, or people who go through their entire hygiene care routine in public...you know like someone spraying their perfume, brushing their hair, filing their nails at a dinner table while you're out. And yes that's happened to me.

Are you generally organized or messy?

Ooo okay...okay, let's get into it. I have spent my life figuring out tools that help me stay organized. If I do not have lots of drawers and shelves and storage areas to specifically designate as homes to my belongings then I will fall into chaotic mess. If I don't go out of my way to keep a calendar then I'll forgot things or get lost. So...I'm at a stage in my life where a majority of the time I am generally organized but I've had to work really hard to get here and maintain it.

What do you look for in a potential lover?

I don't know how to answer this. I can tell you what I've looked for in the past...people I thought needed support, needed someone to believe in them, people I thought were misunderstood. And...they might have been some of those things...but they all ended up being people who took from me and didn't refill my spirit and didn't make me feel supported. So I guess...what I'm looking for now is...not that? Stability, someone that can give as much as they receive, someone who has human flaws and struggles but not the kind that are so big and so heavy that it makes me feel like I'm the only thing keeping their head above water. Younger me loved that feeling, thought it was darkly romantic. But I don't want that moving forward.