New Fiona fan here! But I suppose from what I have read here I should say early seasons Fiona fan?
I watched the uk version years ago and only just started the US one, and I'm only up to season 3.
I went binge reading on ao3 and your fics are golden! Top shelf quality writing, Fiona centric, gut wrenching stuff. I think you are one of, if not the only writers in the Fandom that do her justice.
And give her the credit she deserves.
I have two questions for you, if you feel like answering: in your opinion, which was Fiona's worst self sabotaging instance?
And, does she ever go past the point of no return?
Mind you, I don't much care if there are spoilers in the answers, but the questions are being asked by someone who has watched (as of last night) up to season 3 episode 10ish
hi there! SO sorry for getting back to you so late; i'm finally out of finals hell and can get back to my inbox :)
thank you so much for your kind words! you are so so sweet and i'm genuinely so shocked and happy that my silly little stories resonate with you. thank you for reading !!! <3
i unfortunately will have to spoil quite a bit to answer your questions, but here are my thoughts!
i think fiona's worst self-sabotaging moment comes in season four, when she cheats on her then-boyfriend/boss mike with his brother robbie (who is on-and-off on drugs). he spends several episodes doggedly pursuing her, to kind of a creepy extent, but fiona still seems to find him alluring. she also feels 'safer' with him than mike, which is ironic since mike is the sweetest, most upstanding, kind guy in her life; this seems to be because mike's 'normalcy' scares her, and she admits herself that she doesn't know how to be with him because she's not 'good enough' or 'normal enough' for him. anyways. fiona cheats, gets caught, gets transferred to a different position at her job, is ostracized by her friends and coworkers, and her life comes crashing down. this leads her to end up receiving cocaine from robbie as a 'birthday gift.' fiona leaves it on the table while she's celebrating that night. baby liam gets into it and accidentally puts it in his mouth and overdoses and almost dies. fiona's negligence hurts her baby and she goes to prison. this moment was so so sad and heartbreaking and frustrating for me because she had this really amazing guy but self-sabotaged her own relationship because of her fear of intimacy/normalcy/having good things in her life, and it lead to this huge, terrible spiral that completely shattered her life. she could never have imagined/expected it to go that far, of course, but the fact remains that all of this unfortunately stemmed from her infidelity. season four makes me sob and cry every single time i watch it. fiona's devastating mistake led to some of her worst fears: hurting her kids, losing her stability for them, and having to leave her siblings behind. ughhhhhh, fiona!!!
this is a hard one to answer. i think so many of fiona's mistakes and poor decisions are things i would find unforgivable in real life, but because of the way the narrative of shameless unfolds and the reasoning behind her decisions make me more empathetic towards her. (and also, i love her so i have to admit that i'm biased lol). obviously, liam getting into her coke was an honest mistake, but it still stemmed from her irresponsibility. so although i feel absolutely terrible for her, i just can't see myself being able to forgive her if i was one of her siblings. she also kicks debbie out in season five for getting pregnant, which... i can understand the feelings behind her decision, that doesn't make it morally okay to do something like that to a teenage kid you're supposed to take care of. but i still don't think these are decisions that put her past the point of no return; i think fiona truly goes off the deep end in season nine. her whole life comes crashing down around her (AGAIN) because of some circumstances surrounding her work and love life (this guy named sean) that i do honestly think were out of her control (becoming a landlord notwithstanding). poor fiona spirals into alcoholism as a result. i don't want to demonize her for struggling with addiction, especially as it runs in her family, but this causes her family to essentially give up on her/abandon her. lip kicks her out of the house. fiona decides to leave chicago altogether. i think this was her true 'point of no return' because it showed her that she literally could not return to her old life; in fact, she needed to leave in order to save herself. she could never go back to being the kids' old, familiar fiona, because she had changed too much, and the kids could never accept her for who she had become. she could never go back. so she had to leave.
so sorry for writing you an absolute essay of a response! please forgive me for rambling so much. thank you for reaching out with these questions; as you can see, i had great fun answering them :^)
