#askmisterkaplan

Just taking care of some...things for @askraymondredreddington. Even though I haven’t seen him in weeks. And now I hear the most awful rumors about @askmisterkaplan! No one keeps me in the loop these days--how is everyone?

@askhudsondog, have you tormented any more pairs of batman boxers lately?

Thank you, Anon, for your question. To date, I have not had the opportunity to work with Agent Navabi directly. I was, however, called in by Mr. Reddington to dispose of the Scimitar’s body following her handiwork.

Oh, dearie, there are many. On one occasion my employer stormed in on a gambling ring, leaving more than a dozen bodies in his wake. One hour later I had all but one of the men drawn and quartered for a quick disposal. The last was a rather large fellow, and by then my chainsaw had become a tad dull. It became an exercise of creativity and ingenuity, but we got the job done. On another occasion Reddington made quick work of a handful of dock workers who had become a smidge too interested in his affairs. With the sound of sirens fast approaching, we made use of the surrounding water to wash any evidence of the bloodshed away; the local fauna took care of the rest. And then there was the time I had nothing more to work with than a few cinder blocks, a crowbar, and a pair of pruning shears. I’ll spare you the details; this case was certainly not for the faint of heart.

While my employer is always on a tight timetable, I can’t very well complain. He compensates me well…and besides, he’s family.

Kate Kaplan is one of Red’s most trusted confidants. She knows where all the bodies are buried. Literally. Why don’t you go ask @askmisterkaplan a question or two?