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full moon, earth
FULL MOON: what type of person do you hope to be?
conscientious, but no longer to a degree that borders on the ridiculous. better at not hurting myself. kind, properly. gayer. just a little bit smarter, although i will gladly take expertise as a version of intelligence. aesthetically honed into an awesome and terrible visual weapon.
EARTH: where do you feel most at home?
previously answered, but also: the dorm room i share with @literalliterature
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cosmos, earth?
COSMOS: what's one thing you wish you could say to someone you are no longer friends with?
oof. i mean, i’m pretty sure everyone i’m for real no longer friends with is mainly because we like, don’t go to the same school anymore, there’s not that much lingering angst there. but-- well. uh. “the ways in which i find your behavior unacceptable are only mostly undercut by my failure to articulate myself to you”? “you should check your stove, because--”
we few! we happy few! we terminally communication-impaired!
EARTH: where do you feel most at home?
art institute of chicago
night light, midnight, 11-11
NIGHT LIGHT: who/what makes you feel safe?
girlfriend; dog; having headphones on; being in dorm room w @literalliterature sitting, horribly contorted, in/on her desk chair; hugs
MIDNIGHT: are you a different person late at night than in the early morning?
in the early morning i am miserable and migraine-y and driven with inexplicable purpose; late at night i am an aimless, creative, and highly excitable system
11-11: what's something you want, but feel like you will never have?
to spend a decent length of time living in paris; to be really properly secure in my belief that i am good and useful; *********
Topic: Pellam
i like how pellam is terrible. no, really, i like the specific and targeted ways in which pellam is terrible. i think she is a good dnd character and a joy to be in a party with. she is a genuinely sympathetic character with a frankly deeply upsetting backstory (and present story tbh) that allows for deep and significant interaction with other characters without ever becoming not a vehicle for your/our worstest jokes. i love her attitude toward face parasites.
foppish menswear, pls & thank!!
i mean. aspirational and essential, first off. i love the inherent, almost mandatory combination of several different fabric weights/textures, especially since obviously something has to be silk. i love waistcoats? i love extremely specialized pockets. i love the idea of embracing a “masculine-adjacent” “fashion” in which i still get to wear the intense jewel tones and ludicrous overlush textures of my dreams. plus the contradiction of being at once tight-fitting and lushly textured but also revealing basically no skin. ah, highly tailored bright-colored vests and jackets, my loves, that which will someday be truly open to me if i am very good and believe very hard
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i feel very painfully fond of you, and very futilely protective! i wish very much that i could somehow lift from you some of your brain's unkindness to you, although at the same time i feel sort of guiltily closer to you because we share some of the same social relationship neuroses? oh, and i appreciate the sweet rosy earnestness of your feelings for S—it's nice to see, and helps me feel less bashful about my own sentimental earnestness. […this is possibly not very successfully anonymized.]
this is.... not even a little bit anonymized, oh my god! but be assured i am all the fonder for it, and i return to you the wish to relieve the brain unkindness, and the guilty closeness, and the greater willingness to be earnest in the face of another’s earnestness in kind! you delight!
very cool and arranged. not soft maybe, but very kind. great taste in literally everything. finds a way to describe everything very well.
this is some extremely satisfying brain input, thank you
i think you're smart and thoughtful. we share some brain problems, which makes me sad, because i wish neither of us had them. S sounds lovely and your stories about them/about lesbian domesticities make me smile.
i wish you didn’t have any of them, you seem very nice
