#askjay

Hi! I don’t have a ton of tips because I’m still in a relatively sensitive environment.

BUT the first thing that might help is taking a step back from church. People didn’t bat an eye when I said I needed time to reevaluate some things and find out what works for me. I’m an adult and have that freedom, so do what works best for your age/situation! Most people understand “doubt” and think you’ll come back eventually so it’s a good temporary measure.

Stepping back might be the best thing to do so you can heal.

Additionally, find a couple safe people. If you have safe friends, a family member, etc. tell them what’s going on. It can be hard to figure out which people are safe but I found people’s reactions pleasantly surprising.

Remember that you’re not alone in this - deconstruction has an unforeseen ending but you may learn some great stuff along the way.

Hi! Thanks for the message! It's cool to meet someone who's undergone similar circumstances. I'd love to hear your story!

I do still work for the same company - and it's rough. When I began deconstructing and eventually deconverted, I wasn't in a place to leave my job. I'm currently in the interview process for new jobs so hopefully I'm out soon!

Overall, I cope mainly by taking big self-care steps and avoiding major involvement when I can. Thankfully, the organization is pretty large and I'm just an administrative assistant. Day-to-day isn't too bad.

BUT, when bigger things do happen, like staff gatherings with worship music and speakers, I turn off my camera, play games on my phone, mute when the music plays, journal, scroll Tumblr, etc. I try to only listen when it's necessary. I deconverted during COVID and remote work so that's nice.

This is getting long, sorry.

The most difficult thing is hearing statements and conversations that I used to be head-over-heels into. Like, discussions about the importance of evangelism and the misfortune of those who left Christianity. It HURTS because I was so involved in those conversations. Now it just feels like a stab to the heart. And, like I posted a little while back, how on earth did I believe this shit?

That last bit is the hardest: seeing things from outside the company. How on earth is this legit? How do people believe this? Why do I still work here? It's problematic.

I usually use very thin coats of paint; sometimes clear paints- doesn’t matter if the parts are clear or not, as you’ll get the same result regardless. Anything that dries after you sprinkle glitter onto it will work just fine 👍

And if you want, I had made a tutorial of sorts on how I do it: