#askgarteblog

This sounds suspiciously like something Lieutenant Double-Yefreitor Harrier du Bois would say. So no.

Unless you would like to submit a legitimate application and not just an anonymous text.

What is wrong with you all.

I genuinely need help or I’m going to lose this place. Good luck finding another RCM-friendly hostel, if this is Officer du Bois. And if it’s not… then please reconsider. Just. Please.

Neutrally,

— L. Garte, Manager

P.S. @lieutenant-hdb was this you? If so, is that one of Sylvie’s left behind aprons you stole? Please give it back.

“I AM CUNO”

please be informed that I know Cuno has begun work as an RCM Junior Officer and no longer lives in Martinaise. If you’re going to be a vandal, at least be honest.

Furthermore, trespassers risk being locked inside sheds, greenhouses, waste bins, cellars, forgotten rooms, and the yard. I have no obligation to free you should you become trapped inside one of these structures. It is genuinely in your safety interests to avoid vandalizing my properties. Thank you.

Disrespectfully,

That would be inappropriate.

Just because I am not destroying it immediately does not mean it is going to be lying around for just anyone.

Have some decency, Anon.

Again, to Whom it May Concern,

I will not be playing King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard over the PA system. If you wish to listen to the King, there is a pawn shop to the southwest of the Whirling that sells radios and speaker systems.

Float Along,

Sorry,

Boston

Done.

Since he ran off before I could reprimand him properly, will you please inform your friend that he owes the establishment 60 réal for lost profits, as two customers checked out early on account of the building being “haunted.” They cited sobbing and banging coming from the floor.

Furthermore, I believe your friend pissed in the corner of the room. It has damaged the cables for one of the pinball machines. It is also very… dark. Please make sure he gets some water.

Thank you.

— L. Garte

Yes, actually. Unfortunately it may take some time, as I am creating many of the recipes myself.

Due to a lack of regulation in the Whirling’s menu, our chef was prone to… accidentally contaminating the dishes with other… ingredients… that he had on hand. I had to dismiss him from the position after I found a container of pyrholidon left in the pantry. I didn’t want to risk any potential shenanigans.

I also didn’t appreciate finding out that excessive amounts of (somewhat expensive) liqueur were being added to the goulash. I racked up quite a medical bill trying to find out what I was allergic to that could possibly be causing chronic vomiting. Now I know it’s not an allergy.

The chemist could have told me that on the first fucking appointment, but I digress.

To answer your question, yes the menu will be changing, but we do not have a set date for when that will be.

Additionally, if anyone knows someone in the Martinaise or Jamrock areas with experience in food service looking for work, please notify me ASAP.

Regards,

I don’t know who you are or how you found this account, but I swear to Her Innocence that those days are behind me.

Please do not mention the King to me again.

We will never discuss this again,

I don't know if it would for certain, but... the gesture would be very appreciated.

Thank you, kind anon. The only issue is I don't think I would have the time to enjoy neither the soft bed nor the warm drink. There's too much going on on this end, it's miserable.

I do apologize sincerely. And... again. Thank you for your concern.

I am just trying to do my job.