#ask patty

Hi thanks so much for asking! They’re the 3rd person singular pronouns from Tagalog, one of two official languages of the Philippines. We only have one set and it’s gender neutral which is why I include it in my preferred pronouns. I’m not about to make people use them comfortably in English. It’s more of a reclamation kinda thing. That’s not to say I wouldn’t appreciate it.

Yuri on Ice is a wonderful, wonderful anime. The things that really pulled me in is the reality of the show? The protag, Yuuri, has for-real anxiety and it’s not caricaturized like other animes. The relationship in it is incredibly healthy and supportive which is such a breath of fresh air when most shounen-ai shows are super rape-y. It also isn’t queer-baiting in that the relationship is real and is part of the show as opposed to something the show alludes to to get the viewership but doesn’t actually happen.

Uranus: What’s your hobby? I guess playing viola is more of a hobby now that I’ve graduated music school and only play in school orchestra.

Hydra: Favourite sound? A great hip-hop beat. Hip-hop/R&B was a big part of my childhood. It just makes me happy.

Earth: Where’s your home?: I live in Worcester, Massachusetts currently. I attend college here. My permanent address is in New York City (but we’re in the middle of moving into the suburbs). No matter where I am, I always call the Philippines home.

Gemini: Favourite song?: This changes like every month. Currently, it’s Gods by Angel Haze.

Pulsar: What do you hope to do in the next 10 years?: Graduate with my Bachelor’s. Go to grad school and get my Master’s. Get a job and my own place and financially detach myself from my family.

So if you want further details about my experience thinking about trans stuff so late, I’d be willing to share with you in a private ask.

My base advice to you is this: Explore gender and what it means to you. Everyone experiences gender differently, among cis and trans people. I wrote about it a lot which was great because I could articulate myself pretty well in high school. If you have a creative outlet, by all means use it. Try on different names and pronouns. Find ones that you feel weirdly okay with. I also took time trying on different gendered terms like “mom/dad/parent” “brother/sister/sibling” and all that jazz. If you have friends you trust to talk about this kinda stuff, talk to them. Ask them to call you something different if you think you have a candidate for name or set(s) of pronouns. If your university has a counseling center that offers LGBTQIAP+ counseling, seek help there. I continued to explore my gender when I moved in to college and going to the counseling center really helped. Most importantly, know that your feelings are 100% valid. Do not let anybody tell you that you are “too late” or “not trans enough”. The stuff is bullshit seriously and when you send a private ask I can tell you why I take that shit personally. Don’t take it from cispeople, other transfolk, adults in your life, your friends–anyone. Everything you feel is real and you have a right to explore yourself and demand that the people around you respect your findings.