#ask list

Many years ago I had an evangelical christian colleague who belonged to a local Pentecostal church and was very loud, even at work, about how she didn't understand homosexuality, didn't agree with it, didn't accept it and considered it sinful. This was despite very clear workplace policies about discrimination and the fact that we came under the Public Sector Equality Duty.

At one point I was called upon, in my capacity as Gay Person Who Knows About Things For Gays, to deliver a quick presentation on the implications of the The Equality Act (Sexual Orientation) Goods and Services Regulations for Foster Carers and young people in public care.

This essentially made it illegal for fostering agencies to discriminate against prospective foster carers on the basis on sexual orientation, but (more importantly) established that the provision of foster care to a child or young person was legally considered the provision of a service - and as such if a foster carer disciminated against a young person for being gay or bisexual, or if a young person could evidence that they had been treated disfavourably as a result of their sexual orientation, then they would be able to sue for damages. Damages with no set upper limit.

Filled with Christian Love, my colleague sat at the front with a face like a slapped arse, clearly incensed at having to listen to such offensive information, and proceeded to remove her shoes and begin picking the hard skin off her feet whilst glaring at me. I complained to the manager afterwards and was told that I needed to be more understanding (she was something of a favourite with this manager).

A few weeks later invitation went out for her upcoming wedding, which it was made clear all staff would be expected to attend and celebrate in the interests of team spirit. I stated very clearly that I would not be entering a place that considered me a lower form of life and a sinful abomination, and that whilst they were entitled to their beliefs, I was also entitled not to attend a church full of bible-crazed god botherers on my weekend. This did not go down well.

The day before this wedding I was invited to sign a card from the team, congatulating her on her upcoming nuptials. And naturally I wrote in it "Congratulations on your first marriage!"...

I got into lots of trouble when they found out, but I didn't care.

And I was proven right a few months later, when her new husband cheated on her by fucking one of the other women from the same church (who was also one of the bridesmaids). I should probably have felt bad at that point.

But I didn't.

For the OC ask game -- character of your choice!

5: Would you describe your character's hands as warm or cold, or maybe just average? 8: Does your character fidget? If so, are there any particular things they do? 12: Describe a physical feature your character is insecure about.

From this ask list

Thanks!

The OC wheel spit out Holly, so here we go!

5: Probably average. Maybe on the warm side. She likes dressing up in warm clothing and also a good part of the story takes place in the North Pole so she probably would rather dress too warmly than not warmly enough

8: She does. I'm pretty sure she does, lol. A lot of it would be whatever is on her outfit or something she can just roll between her fingers. She's very fidgety with her hands

1 and 14 for any or all of your BG3 OCs! 💜

Yo! Sorry this got a little delayed thank you for asking 💕

What was the first element of your OC that you remember considering (name, appearance, backstory, etc.)? 

🩸 definitely went for backstory first. I actually had trouble wanting to do a durge playthrough because I wanted it to be an interesting concept and was not thinking of anything great for a while. Once I finally thought of the connection to Ansur(at least I think that's how you spell his name, I just woke up) it started to affect the appearance and led to a more interesting backstory. Originally it was going to be played straight as just a dragonborn Durge but then I thought of the body bouncing blob idea and loved it so much that it became the bigger focus when it comes to conceptualizing 'Valora'

🌻 since she started out as a self insert appearance was the first thing. I don't remember anymore but I probably didn't choose the noble background on her first playthrough either. I'm not exactly from a noble heritage or anything like akin to it in the modern day so I probably have gone with artisan or something like that originally. I think part of what affected her transforming into what she is now is my discovery of how to use mods before they even like implemented an easier way to do that with the updates. I already liked Aasimar from playing dnd so I got very excited to add wings to her. Don't remember if that came after or before the noble idea did but once those pieces clicked into place everything else followed pretty well after.

If you had to narrow it down to 2 things that you MUST keep in mind while working with your OC, what would those things be? 

🩸

Pre and post tadpole besides being loyal to whatever cause they are connected to they are run mostly on curiosity. They know that they are missing a lot of more typical components in their lives and constantly are seeking to fill those gaps.

There's also almost always going to be a level of uncanny realism when it comes to how they present themselves. I wish my art skills could reflect it better but they should have some like analog horror-esque vibes to them no matter what they do even if they're just like eating a sandwich.

🌻

Her optimism does not blind her to the horrors of the world nor does it make her truly naive. This is a woman who was raised in courts. Her parents instilled the values of kindness in her but also taught her to keep her head on a swivel. She Will try and help wherever she can but if you start to betray her, and I mean actual betrayal not some lashing out emotionally episode kind of deal, you'll make a hell of an enemy.

When did you first realise you might not be straight and/or cis?

Was there a specific person, character, or moment that helped you understand your identity?

Have you ever accidentally outed yourself?

Have you ever had a crush on someone before you understood what the feeling actually was?

What's a Pride Month tradition you'd like to start?

If you could give one piece of advice to your younger self about your identity, what would it be?

What's a stereotype about your identity that annoys you the most?

Have you ever mistaken admiration for attraction, or attraction for admiration?

What's the most unexpectedly affirming thing someone has ever said to you?

If you could instantly erase one common misconception about queer people, what would it be?

What's something small that makes you feel gender euphoria?

Have you ever changed labels, or chosen not to use one at all? What was that journey like?

What's a piece of queer media that means a lot to you?

What's something about your identity that took you a long time to accept?

Have you ever had a Pride Month that was particularly memorable, for better or worse?

What's the weirdest question someone has asked you about being queer?

Is there a flag, symbol, or piece of pride memorabilia that has special meaning to you?

If you could redo your first coming out, would you change anything? If you haven't come out yet, what would your perfect coming out look like?

Who was the first person you came out to, if you've come out at all?

What's something you wish more people understood about questioning their identity?

What's a moment when you felt especially proud of who you are?

Are there any queer celebrities who inspire you?

Have you ever helped someone else feel more comfortable with their identity?

What's something you hope the next generation of queer people won't have to worry about?

What's the fastest you've ever become attached to someone romantically?

Have you ever stayed in a romantic relationship longer than you should have? Why?

What's one thing an ex taught you that still affects how you love people now?

What's the most ridiculous argument you've ever had with a romantic partner?

Have you ever fallen for someone you absolutely shouldn't have?

Who was your very first real friend, and what made them important to you?

What's the worst betrayal you've experienced from a friend?

Which friend knows you better than anyone else?

Have you ever intentionally ended a friendship without explaining why?

What's something you'd only trust a close friend with?

Which family member are you the most similar to, whether you like it or not?

What's a family tradition or memory that means a lot to you?

Have you ever disappointed someone in your family in a way that still sticks with you?

Which family relationship in your life is the most complicated?

What's something you wish a parent or guardian had understood about you sooner?

Have you ever developed feelings for someone who only saw you as a friend?

What's the most meaningful act of loyalty someone’s ever shown you?

Is there anyone you miss even though they're still technically in your life?

What kind of relationship do you personally struggle with the most: romantic, platonic, familial, professional, or something else? Why?

What's the hardest goodbye you've ever had with someone you cared about?

Have you ever looked up to someone like an older sibling or mentor figure?

What's the strangest friendship you've ever had - the kind nobody expected?

Have you ever felt replaced in a relationship of any kind?

What's one relationship you wish you could repair if given the chance?

What's the biggest difference between how you act around friends versus family versus romantic partners?

What's a habit you have that you don't even notice anymore, but everyone else would notice?

What's the most irrational fear you have?

What's your most treasured possession, and why?

What's the meanest thing you've ever said while angry?

What's a compliment that's stuck with you?

If you could erase one memory completely, would you? Which one?

What's something you secretly wish people would ask you about more often?

What's your worst cooking disaster?

What's a trait you inherited from your parents that you hate admitting you have?

What's the most childish thing you still do regularly?

Have you ever ruined a friendship? What happened?

What's your biggest "I can’t believe nobody noticed" moment?

What's a smell that instantly brings back memories for you?

What's your go-to comfort food after a terrible day?

When was the last time you cried in front of someone?

What's the weirdest lie you've ever told to get out of something?

What's your most embarrassing injury story?

What's something people assume about you that’s completely wrong?

Have you ever had a moment where you genuinely thought you were going to die?

What's your most useless talent?

What's a moment from your childhood that still affects you today?

If your life had a soundtrack, what song would play during your worst moment?

What's the pettiest grudge you've ever held?

What's something you pretend not to care about, but actually care about a lot?

What's your "this seemed like a good idea at the time" story?

Have you ever been jealous of someone close to you?

What's the worst gift you’ve ever received?

What's a secret you kept for someone else that stressed you out?

What's your favourite physical feature about yourself?

What's the most awkward misunderstanding you’ve ever been part of?

What's one thing you wish you were better at expressing?

Have you ever had your heart broken? What did it feel like?

What's the strangest dream you can still vividly remember?

What's a small act of kindness you never forgot?

What's your worst habit when you're stressed?

If someone searched your room right now, what's the weirdest thing they'd find?

What's a memory that always makes you laugh no matter how bad your mood is?

What's your biggest "I should’ve listened" moment?

What's something you've never apologised for, but probably should?

What kind of person instantly gets on your nerves?

What's the closest you've ever come to quitting something important?

What's a scar, physical or emotional, with a story behind it?

What's your worst "caught at the wrong time" moment?

What's a tradition or ritual you secretly love?

What's something you did once and immediately regretted?

What's the longest you’ve ever stayed awake, and why?

What's a completely harmless thing that embarrasses you anyway?

What's one memory you'd relive exactly as it happened if you could?

What's the hardest thing you've ever had to admit to yourself?

Share a fact about yourself that you haven't shared before!