I donât mind fandom elders but being a fresh 18 I donât know when itâs alright to befriend fans so much older than me and who have more life experience. Should I wait a while longer? Maybe when I feel more confident as an adult?
I think thatâs always going to depend on the adult youâre talking with and your own comfort levels. I mean, youâre talking with someone whoâs almost forty right now. XD
In most cases, if youâre just talking about fandom things--itâs not going to matter how old the person is. Gushing about your favorite characters, fanfics, art, or story plots isnât going to change much no matter what your age. I have fun fandom conversations with people ten years older than me and ten years younger.
The age gap shows up once in a while (like when personal topics come up, like spouses and kids and whatever), but itâs no different than when Iâm talking with people older or younger than me in real life.
When it comes to discussing more mature topics in shipping, thatâll be a personal call. Most reasonable adults are more than happy to set boundaries about what topics are okay to discuss and what arenât, and then respect them--no matter what your age. Just because someone is older (or youâre both the same age) doesn't mean that they are okay with mature topics.
Last of all, trust your gut. If a conversation is making you uncomfortable, thereâs probably a reason.Â
On a side note, I do think that a lot of modern fandom culture has warped some peopleâs senses of interacting with those older or younger than you. Itâs very common in the real world to be around people much older and younger than you in many situations. Your coworkers, your friends, your friendsâ friends, your friendâs parents, activities you join, classes--thereâs a wide range of people with different life experiences.
Example: Iâm in a local, hobby orchestra and most of the people in it are twice or three times my age--making me the young one around others with more life experience. But for one concert, we had some high school students getting extra credit for some class or another, so I shared a music stand with a bright and fun teen. We talked music and safe subjects, with a bit of âIn my day we didnât have snapchatâ thrown in for fun (and I in turn get the âIn my day we didnât have mobile phoneâ conversations from the older members lol).
The end point: Itâs your call. If you found a super cool older person in fandom to chat with and interact who doesnât pressure you, thatâs great! Have some fun!
Just remember that regular internet safety rules apply to all: Donât give out too much identifying personal information, if you do choose to meet make sure itâs in a public place and people know where you are and who youâre with, keep topics in your comfort zone, feel free to drop out of conversations that make you uncomfortable.
And if you find youâre still unsure talking with older folks, thatâs fine, too! Be polite and find some friends closer in age. A well adjusted adult will understand and respect it (and likely remember being that age too!).