#ask grell

“Oh darling! It simply wouldn’t be Halloween if I didn’t hear from you! Thank you for dropping by for a treat!” Grell beamed.

“I know I have a little something for you... Ah, here we are!” The red reaper grinned.  “I hope your holiday is positively devilish!“

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A crash and muffled shriek sounded out from behind the door, followed by a flurry of curse words. Stomping neared, and the door flew open.

Long scarlet hair was pinned up in to-be curls, by strips of pale fabric; or at least it once had been. A lot of the tendrils had fallen lose, but that was the least of Grell’s concerns. Someone disturbed them.

Scowling, the reaper stared down at the one who had been rapping at their chamber door.

Clearly intoxicated, toting a red lipstick marked wine bottle, with a disheveled dressing gown falling off their slender shoulders, Grell gave a most well thought out and eloquent reply,

“What?”

The reaper squinted over the rim of their glasses, then took a very un-lady-like swig direct from their bottle of Merlot.

“Llllloook, if you’re here *hic* ..here for, hmm.... the paperwork, ... just tell that bastard William he can find it in the hedges!”

Grell wobbled a little, burped, and murmured out a half-hearted “pardon”, before wiping their mouth with the back of their hand; which only further smeared the once perfect crimson that marked the reapers lips.

The awkward staring continued for the span of a few seconds, when an epiphany struck.

“Oh!! ... Myyy heavens..! .. You’re here for sweeties, aren’t you?!” Only the first few words were spoken at the door, the rest were called from down the hall while the inebriated shinigami frantically searched around.

More curls had come lose by the time Grell stumbled back to the door. “I have jusss the thing, darling.” The reaper in red grinned, exposing rows of shark-like teeth as they leaned forward, plopping the nearly empty bottle of wine into Cathryn’s trick-or-treat basket.

“There you are!” Grell slurred.

“Happy Halloween!”

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“Hello dear-grey-face, Happy Halloween to you as well!” Grell grinned, presenting the Anon with a treat.

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“Because it’s sooooo booooring!” Grell groaned out.  “Of course I’m smart! And I’m smart enough to know when my talents are being wasted on dull things like paper work, when my expertise could be better expressed elsewhere.”

The redhead giggled, “Yes, the rumors are true. My dear Ronnie is quite smitten with me, and I with him.  I mean… how could he not be into me?! Have you seen me?!”

Nodding, the red one allowed. “Of course you may hug me, sweetie.”

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“I would much rather be the smartest moron,” Grell replied, studying their fingernails since that was obviously a much more productive use of their time. “Because at least then I could still feel superior to someone.”

The reaper sighed, glancing around. “Considering this latest batch of new recruits, and the moronic training system I’m supposed to use to reign them in, I think I am the smartest moron here…”

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“Oh goodness, I’m so glad you asked!” Grell exclaimed.

“My favorite actress is the divine Sarah Bernhardt! Oh I adore her! She is so talented, and delightfully unusual.” The reaper gushed.

“She sleeps in a coffin that is lined with letters from her many lovers, and decorates it with flowers.” Grell elaborated.

“Men fight duels in her honour, and there was even an incident where a woman found herself in such despair over not being able to obtain a ticket to one of Ms. Bernhardt’s plays, that she shuffled herself lose from this mortal coil. …A bit of a dramatic reaction, if you ask me. But.. I understand her woes, it was the divine Sarah after all!”

Fanning themself with a gloved hand, the reaper went on. “Oooh what I wouldn’t give to see one of her shows!”

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“Ooh! Happy Christmas to you too, darling!” The reaper in red exclaimed, “How thoughtful of you to remember me!”

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