#ask fangs

Anon, I would like to preface that I don't mean this in a spiteful way in the slightest, I would just like to use this as a teaching moment. I'm very glad that you trust me enough o come to me with this information, and I am sorry your mother thought that was an appropriate thing to say. But please in here future, when trying to educate someone, do not use the N-word as an example. The struggles of LGBT folks and Black people are both horrendous and awful in their own right. But they aren't exactly comparable.

Especially with someone like your mother, who seems to not respect queer people, at least not enough to not use slurs when referring to them, it serves to belittle the black struggle, Which I know wasn't your intention, and the fault lies with your mother here, not you.

I understand being in denial about your identity. figuring yourself out is possibly one of the hardest things a person could do. At least for me, introspection is a very difficult task, and its taken many years of therapy for me to get as good at it as ai am now. And I still have much to learn. I would also like to apologise that this took me so long to get to, I've been terribly busy, and it pains me to know you were suffering with this alone when I could have helped comfort you sooner.

Your father seems like a very hateful man, and I wish you could be safe and free from his abuse. I know what it's like to be stuck with abusive parents and to just have to let things slide for your own safety. It's very difficult, and I'm so proud of you to try to keep the peace. Just know you're the better person in this situation, and things will look up for you eventually. I am rooting for you! I shouldn't have to tell you this, but your identity is very valid. The way you identified in the past wasn't wrong, it was just different. Both things can be true at the same time, as we as humans evolve and change so much throughout our lives. Im sorry, that your past identity is being used against you in such a vile and despicable way.

I can't wait to see the day you are out on your own and you can put all this behind you. You're gonna do great things in life! And you will eventually get the respect you deserve, I promise you. I'm here anytime you need to vent, or even if you want to tell me something cool about your day! Just know in the grand scheme of things, what your parents think of you doesn't matter. You are your own person, and you aren't responsible for policing their language. If they decide to be hateful, that's on them, not you. Don't waste your precious energy trying to change someone who doesn't think they are in the wrong. It can be incredibly draining.

that sounds like a movie I’d definitely watch.

I totally agree! That should be a thing.