#ask acro

Aw, thank you! I appreciate you saying that :)

I believe so! I mean, Punk being happy does make me happy. I do worry about them being with someone that might end up upsetting or hurting them, but I like to try to focus on what will make them happy. If they find a relationship that makes them happy, then I’m glad to hear it. I just want what’s best for them. When I helped them feel good, I feel good.

I think I tend to think about it a lot and try to understand the situation as best I can. And talking it over can help a lot too.

I think some of the biggest misconceptions are:

It is cheating. A healthy polyamorous relationship has consent and good communication.

It’s a sexual thing. Some people may have multiple sexual partners, but it doesn’t mean that all polyamorous people just want to be sexual with many people. There are other types of relationships.

It’ll fix a messed up relationship. Bringing another person into the picture isn’t going to solve all your problems. For some people it may work out for their particular relationship/situation, but for others it could just make things worse.

I really don’t like the cheating misconception because 1) if it’s not your relationship, it’s none of your business. 2) Anyone can cheat, but just because someone is with multiple people doesn’t automatically mean they are cheating.

It’s called consent and communication. It’s not a new concept. You need the same things for a healthy monogamous relationship.

Not personally, but shows and movies and books that have stuff about love triangles and stuff like that can seem toxic. Just the way they go about it can be so ridiculous. Idk if that counts but I know Punk has said they don’t like stuff like that as well.

Being monogamous isn’t important to me. I mean, it’s not something I’ve thought much about. It’s kinda just like if something came up I wouldn’t be opposed to having multiple partners, but it’s not something I’m interested in/looking for, so I guess I’m monogamous.

I’m agender as well as ace and aro-spec.

Sometimes I feel like I’m not that great at being a sexual or romantic partner, but I still try my best to be better about stuff like that. I think sometimes I go about my relationship in a way that others might see it like they are just a really good friend. But I enjoy just cuddling and watching tv and stuff like that with my partner sometimes.

I know it’s probably said a million times over, but communication is soooo important. I mean, it is in any relationship, but in a polyamorous relationship I know from experience that good communication can be super helpful.

For someone trying out non-monogamy, I’d say don’t beat yourself up if you find that it doesn’t work out for you. You just need to find what works best for you in a relationship. But also don’t give up if the first relationship doesn’t work out. That doesn’t automatically mean that it’s not for you. Not all relationships work out, polyamorous or monogamous.

For someone who is just discovering they are polyamorous, it’s good to take the time to be understanding and accepting of yourself. Talk to other people who are polyamorous and learn about their experiences. They could have helpful tips that could help with future relationships.

I think the same for monogamous people as far as talking to polyamorous people. They can talk about their experiences because I think giving real life examples can be helpful for some people to understand things.

I mean, it’s up to them :P

But I’m definitely willing to share! I love my metamours!