#ashockingtale

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - Until the end of time

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Ahh, it took about... a year or so? Well, more than that, cause they didn’t start off ‘in love’ you know? It just built up over time. So, a couple years.

How was their first kiss? - You know, it was probably Kait worrying too much and him seeing right through her and pulling her over for a kiss. And it was soft and sweet, feeling like it lasted much longer than it did, and it was the first time she had genuinely smiled in a long time.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Varric, after a talk about how Kaitlyn has a lot to live for despite everything that’s happened.

Who is the best man/men? - Hmm.. Carver would probably play some part if he could make it there while being a Warden. Fenris and Anders and Sebastian as well. I’m not sure who he would pick for best man. 

Who is the brides maid(s)? - Well, if it was a verse with Bethany, definitely Bethany. Also, Aveline, Merrill, and Isabela. 

Who did the most planning? - Kaitlyn most likely, but Varric did his own secret bits. 

Who stressed the most? - Kaitlyn :| I think she really wanted it to be ‘normal’ and ‘nice’ cause so few things in her life were. They’re also both pretty lowkey about the whole thing.

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Everyone from the Dwarven Merchants Guild lol 

Sex:

Who is on top? - Well that depends... 

Who is the one to instigate things? - I feel either, but Kait might do it more. She just likes to tease and then things get out of hand lol Or in hands...

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - Depends, but I think for the most part they can go for a few hours. It’s a much better way of working out than running around Kirkwall.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Oh yes. I think it may turn into a bit of a friendly game for them, who can make the other cum more.

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - I think at least one, maybe two.

How many children will they adopt? - It’s easier for Kait to adopt tbh. I think she’s more comfortable with that, and she’s already p much adopted Amaris (purestlyrium) lol So, at least one there.

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Kaitlyn ._.

Who is the stricter parent? - These two are both a little ridiculous I feel. How do they even parent? It’s a mystery. I think Varric will end up putting his foot down more just because Kaitlyn is sort of easily trusting of anything they say.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Varric more lol inner worry wart comes out. Kaitlyn is like, ahhh they’re fine.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Kaitlyn

Who is the more loved parent? - They love them both equally imo. They go to Kait when they want to get out of trouble, they go to Varric when they want some toy or another lol 

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - Supposing those were a thing, Kaitlyn would. Varric would find every excuse to get out of them.

Who cried the most at graduation? - Again, supposing it was a thing. Kaitlyn, but Varric did too.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Both I think lol But Varric would have more means to do it I think.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Kaitlyn

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Varric probably

Who does the grocery shopping? - Both

How often do they bake desserts? - Kait likes having sweets around the place and will bake whenever they run out.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - They’re both meat lovers.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Varric lol

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Varric

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - Varric :|  Unless it’s Kait cooking with Shadow ‘helping’ her.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Neither I think lol Maybe Kait just a bit.

Who is really against chores? - Varric lol

Who cleans up after the pets? - Kaitlyn

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - ....both tbh

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Kaitlyn

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Kaitlyn, and she gave it away to someone who needed it more haha

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Varric, and he likes to sing 8D

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Kaitlyn, but Varric joins her sometimes.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - All the time and Kaitlyn does it.

What are their goals for the relationship? - Support one another, be there for each other. Stay the best friends that they’ve always been.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Varric maybe?