#ashleighblocks

Chris and Nate are sitting on the couch, watching TV. They look bored. 

Chris: Are you going job hunting today?

Nate: Oh yeah, after this one. (he gestures at the TV)

Chris: Alright. (his phone rings) Oh shit. (he picks up) Hello? Yeah. (he sighs) Yeah, I can. No, I'll be right there. Okay. (he hangs up and gets off the couch) 

Nate: Who was that?

Chris: Work. I have to go in for a couple of hours. 

Nate: (still watching TV) Yeah, see, that's why I don't want a job.

Chris: (getting ready to leave) Yeah, well, I think you might owe me some money. For letting your ass stay here.

Nate: (sighs) Oh yeah. That.

Chris: (sarcastically) Yeah, that.

Nate: (grumpily) I used to have money.

Chris: (about to leave) Ahh, yes. Your successful career as a drug dealer. Shame you had to quit that one.

Nate: (shrugging) Just as well. Nowadays I'd just do it all myself.

Chris: Yeah, let's try and avoid that. (he looks at the time) Missi will probably be back before I am. (he's by the door. He looks up at Nate, who is still reclining and watching TV.) After this one, yeah?

Nate: (not looking at him) Yeah, I promise.

Chris rolls his eyes and leaves.

Minutes pass. The show ends. Nate gets up and stretches. He yawns. He goes over to the fridge and is just opening it when there is a knock at the door. Nate, still holding the fridge open, looks curiously at the door. He walks over and opens it. It's Ashleigh. She looks surprised to see him.

Ashleigh: Oh. Um. Hi.

Nate: Hi. (he opens the door wider and let's her in) 

Ashleigh: (looking around) Chris isn't here?

Nate: (shaking his head) No, he got called into work.

Ashleigh: Oh. Okay. (she stands there awkwardly. You can tell she is having an internal struggle) I...um...what's up?

Nate: (shrugging) Just watching TV. And now I'm hungry. (walks back towards the fridge) You want anything?

Ashleigh: um, no thanks. I should be leaving. (She starts toward the door.)

Nate: (comes after her) Ashleigh.

Ashleigh: (turns around defiantly) What?

Nate: Is this how it's going to be.

Ashleigh: (avoiding his gaze) I think this is how it has to be.

Nate: Why didn't you tell him the truth?

Ashleigh: I'm not talking about this. (she turns away but Nate grabs her hand and pulls her back. She yanks her hand away from his but stands still) 

Nate: (louder) Why did you lie?

Ashleigh: (insistently) I told him what happened.

Nate: Yeah? (he takes a step closer, she takes a step back.) Seems like you told him what you want him to THINK happened.

They stare at each other.

Nate: (taking a breath) Did you or did you not kiss me back?

Ashleigh: (looks him dead in the eyes. She says it as if trying to convince him as well as herself.) I didn't.

Nate: (he smirks) Okay. (his face gets dead serious. He's an inch from her face. She looks up at him, and it looks like maybe she wants to kiss him. He stares her down, before saying bitingly) Whatever you say.

He walks past her, out the door, without glancing back. It slams. Ashleigh stand alone in the apartment, breathing hard.

Ashleigh walks into Nate's house. His mom is watching TV, sitting on the couch, and smoking out of a bong. Ashleigh tries to walk by her as quickly as possible, but she can't be avoided.

Daphne Ryan: Just you?

Ashleigh: Um, yeah.

Daphne: Go in there and show him a good time. (she laughs loudly) He's been a douche lately. 

Ashleigh: (she looks disgusted) Right.

She makes her way through the mess that is the Ryan house, and knocks on Nate's door before entering. On the bed is Nate. He is doing a line of coke, and there is an open bottle of whiskey next to him. There is a lit blunt on his bedside table.

Ashleigh: (starts toward him immediately) Nate...

Nate: (finishes the line of coke before looking up at her. He smiles) Ashleigh!

Ashleigh: (she looks scared) What are you doing?

Nate: Knitting. (he laughs at his own joke) What does it look like I'm doing, silly? (his words are slurred; he starts to cut another line)

Ashleigh: (she tries to find a place on the bed that's clean. She fails. She gingerly sits on the edge of the bed) Nate, how much have you done?

Nate: (shrugging) A bit. (he smiles) want some?

Ashleigh: (freaked out) No, thanks. (she picks up the whiskey) You drink all of this too?

Nate: Yeah. (he does the next line, and then looks at her) I'm a bit fucked up.

Ashleigh: No kidding. (She puts the whiskey on the floor.) Nate, what made you do all this?

Nate: (he looks confused) What do you mean? 

Ashleigh: This is too much.

Nate: This is what I always do.

Ashleigh: Well, it stops now. (she tries to take the cocaine away)

Nate: No! Why? (getting upset) I like it.

Ashleigh: Nate, this is insane.

Nate: (he laughs to himself) Insane...that's me, isn't it?

Ashleigh: Nate, no. What you're doing to yourself is insane.

Nate: (throwing his arms up, saying it loudly) I'm insane! (quieter) I'm insane. (to Ashleigh) I'm insane.

Ashleigh: (taking his hand) No. You're not.

Nate: (looks at her, squeezing her hand) I did a lot.

Ashleigh: I know you did.

Nate: (getting teary) Why? Why? (he reaches for the whiskey)

Ashleigh: No! (she takes his other hand) Nate, this has to stop.

Nate: (looks at her again) I can't. (he starts shaking his head) I can't, I can't.

Ashleigh: (trying to calm him down) Yes, you can. I promise you can.

Nate: (looking at her like he's noticed her for the first time) You quit drugs with me. In high school. You did that for me.

Ashleigh: (nodding) Yeah, I did. I'll do it again.

Nate: You...care about me.

Ashleigh: Of course I do.

Nate: (pointing at the door) Mom doesn't! (laughs) Dad doesn't! Daddy...he's gone. (laughs again) And he took me with him, you know?(he bites his lip.) Amy's gone! (he laughs) I loved her...She's gone. Poof! (laughs and looks like he's about to cry) Gabrielle's gone. I knew it too. Ashleigh, I knew it. (he points to himself to emphasize this) Everybody leaves. Nobody stays. The girls, my girls, they leave. (he's talking to himself at this point) And then I'm alone again. (looks at Ashleigh, pleading for an answer) Why am I alone?

Ashleigh: (she's tearing up) You're not alone, Nate.

Nate: (looks at her in wonder) No. You're always there for me.

Ashleigh: And Chris and Joey are too.

Nate: (shakes his head. He squeezes her hands before letting go with one and using it to tuck her hair behind her ear. Ashleigh looks at him, wondering what happens next) It's...it's not the same. You're the only one who...who quit with me...you're the only one who...who...(he bites his lip again) I've never had a girl...friend before.

Ashleigh looks at him, heartbroken.

Their heads are very close together. Nate's hand that is in her hair moves to stroke her face. Impulsively, he leans in and kisses her. She kisses back for a few second before wrenching herself away and jumping up. She looks petrified. 

Ashleigh: (shaking her head, tears in her eyes) Nate...

Nate looks up at her, tears in his eyes too.

Ashleigh runs away, knocking the whiskey over in her hurry.

The door slams and Nate is on the bed, alone. His face shows that he has realized what he's just done.

Every Christmas I get a kind of nostalgic feeling. My parents are never home anymore, but I remember how it was when I was younger. They’d somehow have off the week before Christmas and the week after too, and I’d be so happy to have them all to myself. And we’d do Christmas-y things all week and I’d be so happy. I’d be a normal girl with two parents who loved her very much. Not a poor little rich girl whose parents were too busy worrying about everybody else’s lives to worry about mine. It made me very sad. But I didn’t know what else to do than to stop loving Christmas. I remember when I was nine, and we were living in France at Christmastime. It was beautiful there and I remember just feeling so happy. My mother bought me special, grown up, French perfume and I was so happy. On Christmas morning I must have wasted half the bottle, but she didn’t mind. She never minded. She let me be a kid. But somehow, once I reached eleven or twelve, I stopped being a kid in their eyes. I started being just another person that they had to be bothered with throughout the day. They were gone all the time. I missed them so much. The weather would get so cold and I would be all alone. I was basically living on my own by the time I was thirteen. It was a very lonely life. Poor little rich girl. Incomplete and all alone. I craved to feel a family love like all of my friends felt. All of my girlfriends would invite me over for sleepovers and parties, but Christmastime was family time. They knew it and I knew it. We always knew that there would be an awkward moment near Christmas when they would flirt with the idea of inviting me over for Christmas dinner and for the exchanging of gifts on Christmas morning. But they never did. Because Christmastime was family time, and because their parents didn’t want to have to worry about having the millionaires’ daughter over for Christmas dinner. I guess they were under the impression they we did something fancy for Christmas. That we ate with three forks and had every food under the sun served to us  by butlers or something.  I suppose they thought that they did not have any obligation to buy the rich girl any presents to find under their tree. They assumed I’d have something better waiting for me at home, and that I would not be able to appreciate their meager, humble offerings. But God, would I have. God, would I have. To have a place to feel loved and appreciated and special on Christmas morning… I craved it. I needed it desperately. To feel a sense of belonging and a sense of family… that’s all I wanted. I didn’t care if I got any presents or not. I had everything I had ever needed or even imagined wanting. I had everything. Except love. Except a place to eat and talk and laugh on Christmas morning. And so I began to hate the happiest time of year.

                My friends changed how I felt about it though. My best friends, that is, not those girls that I hung out with before high school. The Blocks. My true family. My blood brothers. We had our own Christmas my freshman year of high school. They made me feel so loved. Like I truly mattered to them for more than just my money or my face or out of pure sympathy. They made me feel like it was just something that they wanted to do for someone they loved. And I loved them back. God, did I love them back. Chris gave me a snow globe with a little snowman inside, smiling up at me. If there was one thing that I still loved about Christmas time, it was snow. Chris knew that. Of course he did. I mentioned it exactly one time, but of course he still knew it. He could always just remember little things about me and pull them back out whenever they were needed.

Ashleigh is dressed as Dorothy, only her dress ends a little above her knees. Her hair is loose and wavy, and there's a bow in it. Her lips are red and her eyes look very green. She is standing at the beginning of a glass road, and the colors of her surroundings are very muted, but still lovely. It looks cold. She stands there, staring intently down the glass path. Ashleigh's voice over narrates the entire dream.The edges of the screen is static-y and progressively gets more so until the end.

Ashleigh: There once was a little girl. She got lost one day, trapped in a hurricane, and she ended up in a beautiful place. (Ashleigh starts looking around, taking in everything) But even as she was seeing the beauty, she was struck by the sadness on the outside. Around the edges there was a sort of static. Something that didn't belong. (Ashleigh continues gazing around, but starts walking down the glass road) She wondered what it was as she walked along a road made of glass. Fragile and breakable. She had to step lightly or it would crack. She was wandering along when she saw a man. (Chris the Scarecrow is seen now. He's hung up against a pole in the middle of a desolate field, off the path. Ashleigh sees him and stares) But he was different, he was made of straw, hung up against a pole. He didn't seem to see her...but she saw him. (She starts running toward him) She ran toward him, quickly, quickly. She stopped in front him. (Ashleigh stops in front of Chris, panting with her hands resting on her knees. She looks up, unsure of what he is.) "Let me down," he begged, shaking violently. "Free me." When the voice over says this, Chris is mouthing the words and trying to break free of the ropes that hold him to the pole. Ashleigh starts to attempt to free him) She tried as hard as she could, but she couldn't seem to get him down. She tried and she tried but her hands just got lost in the tangled knots. (Ashleigh stops struggling with the ropes and looks in mild terror at her rope burned fingers) Then, suddenly, he burst into flames. (Chris bursts into flames, and Ashleigh jumps back, gasping in horror) The girl jumped back in horror, fearful of the flames and of the burning scarecrow. She tried to make out his face, and she saw that he was screaming for help. (She looks back at him in terror as he's begging for help when they hear Asia laugh) She heard a laugh, and there was a witch, beautiful and terrible, flying overhead, circling around the scarecrow. (Asia is flying on a broom around Chris's burning pole, wearing a black witch's hat and outfit, but she looks beautiful and glamorous and evil all at the same time) She laughed and laughed, satisfied with herself and her spells. The girl ran, afraid. (Ashleigh runs away from the field, occasionally looking back at Chris and Asia, and gets back on the glass road) She ran until she could no longer see the burning scarecrow or the witch. (Ashleigh looks around at where she is now. She is in a forest clearing. Nate the Tinman is there, paralyzed with rust) The girl looked around her new setting, and noticed a tin man, standing near a tree and an oil can. It looked as if he was frozen. He looked at her, and she at him. (Ashleigh and Nate look at each other; her slightly fearful, him just staring) And he seemed to beg for the oil can, so she grabbed it and gave him some, thinking it would be okay. (Ashleigh grabs the oil can and pours it on Nate, who can move and speak again. They laugh and link arms and look as if they are going to continue down the glass road.) And he thanked her, and they hugged and they walked, but he grew wary and stiff again and he needed more oil and she gave him some. (Ashleigh unlinks her arm from his and gives him more oil. She makes to continue, but he can barely go a few feet without needing more) But then barely any time passed before he wanted some more. She gave him a little, but he just wanted more and more and he was insatiable. (Ashleigh yanks the oil can away from Nate, and starts to back away.) So she wouldn't give him any more, and he begged and pleaded and tried to grab the can even as his tin limbs grew stiff once more and she ran from him, clutching the can, trying and failing to out run his screams. (Ashleigh runs away from a struggling Nate, who screams and screams until Ashleigh is too far away to see him) The girl hurried down the glass path, shaking and gasping for breath. And then she stopped. (Ashleigh is still in the forest, but this is an area with thicker trees.) She heard a noise, some sort of snuffling. She looked in between the trees, and then she saw something that made her draw back. (Ashleigh creeps between the trees and sees Joey, the lion, curled up and crying) She saw that it was a lion, huge and magnificent, and she was frightened. But then she saw that this peculiar lion man was crying, so she crept closer to him. (Ashleigh walks carefully toward Joey with her hand outstretched as though she might stroke him.) He cried as if his life were crumbling around him, as if everything were spiraling out of control. And he looked at her, and she looked back unflinchingly. And then he whispered, "I want to be brave." (Joey mouths the words as the voice over says them. Ashleigh has tears in her eyes too, and she allows him to hug her) He held her and begged her to make him brave. But she couldn't, she knew she couldn't. She was just as fearful as he was, she knew she didn't belong here, and the static was more apparent now and she struggled out of his grasp and ran. She ran down the fragile road and didn't look up until she was suddenly quite alone, outside of a building. (Ashleigh has run all the way to Westlake High, and she looks up at the school, her bow askew. And she opens the door and goes inside. The glass path is still there, and it leads her to the auditorium, where she sits in the audience.) She went inside and saw that glass road was still there, and she followed it all the way to the auditorium. And she went in there and she sat, and then she realized that the curtain was closed. She waited for someone to open it. She waited and she waited and the curtain stayed closed. No one seemed to be opening it. Why wasn't anyone opening it? And that's when she knew that she was the one who had to open it. She had to see what was behind the curtain. (Ashleigh gets up very suddenly and runs up the aisle, up the stairs, on to the stage.) So she ran up aisle and onto the stage and she yanked the curtains apart and she saw... (Ashleigh yanks open the curtain and the sound dissolves into static as she sees herself in a huge mirror for a split second, before she awakens)