#ashelena

"Kelenco, Mommy needs to wash your towel." "Cape! It's a cape!"

"Sorry. Mommy needs to wash your cape."

That stupid thing went with me everywhere right up till second grade. I didn't always wear it, mind; I was well versed in the practice of super heroes having a public persona. I always kept it nearby in my backpack though. You know, just in case.

One day I came to realize that it really was just some ratty old red towel and that all tying it around my neck meant was that I was wearing a towel. It felt so instant, like one moment I was having the time of my life and my imagination could more than make up for what real life lacked, and the next it was all embarrassing and pointless.

Something that felt like a part of my identity ever since I was old enough to consider such a thing was gone. I wouldn't go so far to say that I was having an existential crisis or anything (that came much later), but I definitely felt numbed. I now hated things I once loved out of spite for "wasting my time".

Mom was quick to notice, as mothers are apt to do, and pulled me onto her lap.

"What's got my little hero in such a sour mood?"

I crossed my arms in a huff. The word 'hero' left a sour taste.

"There's no such thing as a hero."

"Who told you that?"

I didn't answer. What did it matter who told me? It was the truth.

She sighed and turned me in her lap so she could get a better look at my face; for an instant I worried that I may be in trouble, but quickly stuck to my guns and pouted harder.

"I suppose it's true there aren't any heroes in capes running around."

My eyes stung and my lip began to quiver.

"But that's because the capes were getting in the way!"

She caught me off guard and the tears rolled off my lashes and down my cheeks. I quickly wiped at my eyes, trying to save face. Mom laughed, gently brushing my bangs away from my face.

"Heroes in real life are different from the comics, but that doesn't mean they don't exist. Did you know you're named after a real hero?"

I lit up. "Really?"

"Yes!" she chimed, her smile widening once she saw mine make a reappearance. "A very important one. Leksa-Krenkoi saved a lot of people, you know. He ended a war!"

"How? Did he do it with laser beams? X-ray vision? Did he fly? Did he--"

She scrunched her nose. "Didn't I just say it's different from the comics? Anyway, how isn't really important. What I'm trying to tell you is that if you help people, you'll be somebody's hero."

"That sounds too easy!"

"But it is that easy!"

She pulled me in tight. I can still remember her perfume faintly smelling of forget-me-nots.

"You'll always be my little hero. You don't need a cape for that, and nobody can change that for the world."

I felt a spark come back to me, and my dream was alive again. 

Somehow, I'd grow up and I'd help people... while looking cool as fuck, naturally. It wasn't quite as glamorous once I achieved my goal, but hey, I had a job I was content with as a police officer and I liked to think I was making a little bit of a difference with each passing day.

However, that too was a dream that I'd eventually have to wake up from. I'm sure I probably could have made a good hero...