FOR THE BEST EXPERIENCE ⸻ please listen to dtmf by bad bunny
𝕭eing busy meant it was easy to ignore the world crashing. Easy to ignore the never ending pressure and the intense sense of dread that began to weigh heavily. Terry’s existence was truly beginning to collapse internally. There was very little that the vigilante was truly able to hold onto from his old life: the suit, of course, was thriving as much as possible. The servos were still working at perfect capacity ⸻ while some tweaks were needed to adjust to the electrical and technological advances of this generation, it still functioned as it should. Other personal belongings had come with him … but they were not holding up nearly as well. Of course Terry had tried everything that he could possibly think of to make sure the last of his tech devices survived until the final moments. His holo-phone had been the most important one to try and preserve. Slowly but surely the device had been dying, the battery diminishing little by little, even on saver mode. He avoided touching it as much as humanly possible in an attempt to keep the photos locked onto the device, but as his time trapped in this younger version of Gotham grew, so did the desire to stare at the pictures. They were the last physical connection that he possessed to his old life. How was he supposed to move on from that? Each glance was agony, every brief look enough to make his eyelashes glisten with tears that he refused to shed quite yet. As long as the phone was alive, so was his hope to go home.
Right now Terry had caved to the emotional and mental pressure of life. He missed his now ex-girlfriend. He missed his mom and his baby brother Mattie. Truth be told he would give just about anything to have him back. Just his brother. His Robin, albeit a temporary one. After a nasty run-in with The Joker, Terry ended up putting his foot down completely from then on out about Matt being involved with him and his vigilante-isms. His heart and his soul could only take so much strain in the end. Mattie had nearly died, been kidnapped and tortured to try and give up the person behind the Batman mask, but the kid was just as stubborn as his big brother and had loudly refused to give anything up. Through and through he was brave beyond belief, a trait that every McGinnis seemed to have in spades. Not seeing his brother every day was beginning to grate on Terry in an almost psychological way. Every moment was more and more agonizing on his soul. It almost felt physical, a weight settling deep within his core. It only seemed to feel heavier and heavier as Terry’s eyes flickered back and forth between the picture of him and his brother plastered across the screen of the holo-phone. It was a simple post patrol selfie, both of them a little battered and bruised but still smiling so insanely big. Pride radiated off of their every feature. They were on top of the world here. Even now, after all of this time, they would forever be Batman and Robin.
A physical crack can practically be heard coming from Terry’s chest as the screen begins to flicker a little bit, the sides and center glitching out across their faces. It almost seems like the universe itself is shorting out some. There’s a few agonizing seconds of this before it finally powers down for good, the rest of the hope he was so desperately holding onto going with it. Terry’s gaze almost seems to glaze over as the piece of now obsolete metal sits loosely in his hand. It seemed that no matter how hard he attempted to hold onto these precious memories, to hold onto the life he had poured so much energy and love into, things were simply never going to be enough. Was this the type of life every Batman was going to be subjected to? Loneliness? Abandonment? In his final years Bruce had been almost completely alone most of his life, his own children not re-entering his life until the last decade or so. Terry was absolutely petrified of becoming that but, without his family and friends, it felt like fate had already chosen his hand. That destiny wasn’t going to be avoided this time around. Sure, since coming here, he had the other bats, having opened their arms and hearts to him ⸻ but it simply wasn’t the same and didn’t feel like nearly enough, and he wasn’t sure it ever would be. They had all practically grown up with one another, fought and trained and been through hell. In his mind there was no competing with that.
Was this truly the fate of Batman?
Terry barely reacts as the now dead device clatters onto the floor, metal clanging loudly against the hardwood of his living room. The man hadn’t even made it fully onto his couch before collapsing, his back resting against the cushions instead from his spot in front of it, legs loosely curled underneath himself. It was truly pathetic. Slowly his legs shift to pull up against a physically strong chest as his heart plummets right through his body, all the emotions that he had been working so hard to keep as hidden as humanly possible rocketing to the surface. Before Terry can even try to stop the sounds or feelings a sob is ripped from his chest, the cry nothing short of raw agony. Ever since he crashed into this era Terry has been telling everyone around him that he is ❝ fine, there’s nothing to worry about ❞ with a big toothy smile pulling across sharp teeth and gentle features. Legs pull up tighter as the emotional crash hits hard. The sobs by now are uncontrollable, the sound and strength making his shoulders tremble and shake. Despite his best efforts it seemed as if Terry was destined to crash and burn. He survived as Batman for so long because of the careful support system he had built. He had lost Bruce, the man who had become an essential figure in his life. Dick who had been his handler for so long, who taught and nurtured him in ways he never thought he needed. Barbara who protected him with her maturity and inner strength, being a voice of reason when his head was ready to explode. Sure, they existed here, but it would never be the same. Never be what he had grown to love.
Terry heaved a forced shaky sigh when he felt the gifted iPhone in his sweatshirt pocket begin to vibrate and sing like crazy, flashlight app going off simultaneously. Sitting up a little bit straighter he fishes the device out of his pocket and unlocks it easily with facial detection to a message from Oracle. ❛ You’re up, Baby Bat. ❜ That was all the clue he needed before tilting his head up and looking to the side of himself a bit, gaze focusing beyond the sheer curtains that were parted ways in front of a window. The luminescence of the bat signal glowed brightly, casting the room in a glow that sat heavy and demanding, unable to be ignored. Despite the turmoil rolling like magma inside he forces himself to his feet, wiping underneath his eyes with a determination he didn’t know he still possessed. It’s easy for Terry to compartmentalize things after that, forcing everything that he was feeling down deep once more to be dealt with at a later date. There was work to be done after all. Changing into the suit was like second nature to him at this point, the servos in the exoskeleton making the fabric hug his body in a way that brought him comfort, something he refused to look too closely into. After that all outside concerns melted away, mind going comfortably blank outside of the task at hand. The mask falling over his face was the final piece, form fitting and pushing him into a headspace where he didn’t have to deal with the concerns of Terry McGinnis. All he had to do was be Batman. The agony was still there, simmering just under the surface, but for now? For now he had to focus.
For the Dark Knight must prevail, even through unimaginable loss.
