#asgeir

He's also avoided consciously processing for at least a year -- but I think, eventually he will have to. Sooner than later??

As we dream gentle hands are shaping, further, higher as the new day enters.

These subconscious thoughts are the person he's becoming, whether he likes it or not.

Cue some of those moments here.

The face of surprise -- and do you see those little sparkles?? Just wanna point out how genuine his eyes are here for Reasons

His eyes here, too-- round and relaxed.

And holy shit, did this panel come at the perfect time.

He's in Deep, all right. Deep cover, when you become the person you're pretending to be...

wanting is not wrong

Full disclosure, the other reason I was drawn to this song was that this stanza fully captured the ideas of a few chapters of my fanfic, Joint Mission (M): to open the door/ and let you in / forget the right ways / write it our own way.

We opened the door. Found a way, we hadn't seen before.

And then this song captures the biggest realizations that I think are standing between him and accepting his feelings: he is allowed to want things, as a human, and he can trust Yor.

Found a reality that shields us and clothes us, makes us hungry for things the day can offer.

Jealous to have a life worth living, there, spy?

As a spy, this is exactly what he is not permitted to do. But as a man, this is exactly what he has to do in order to begin to accept love.

The repeated verse

I waited until the end to discuss this chorus, because I think it gets at the crux of the feelings realization we're waiting for. He's so stuck in what-ifs and what-happens-nexts....

Watch the mind run far away, way ahead of us

Like this silent reaction where he's terrified of her leaving, the sap, before he spends a whole page overthinking what she wants

...that he's never realized that the present can be enjoyed, regardless of what might happen in the future--

and everything that will be and was here and now.

Like this silent reaction where he picks now, and her, over anything else, even his life

And something I really would love to see explored is whether he decides to accept his feelings at the same time he accepts that this might be temporary but that's okay and he will live it and appreciate it today--or if that sense of temporariness makes him want to change how he lives in the world because he's found, for the first time in forever, something that makes him want to stay.

I kind of want to think the first will happen -- in part because this entire series has been him grappling with the ephemerality of his mission, but also, life is ephemeral -- a regular person also knows that their life will change someday, and no longer be the same, due to the whims of the world. And I think this song captures an acceptance of that transience.

Which actually makes me hope we'll see both. Accepting that something is transient doesn't mean you can't want it to continue as long as possible.

the music

This song is mostly acoustic, crooning, and gentle. It's the kind of song that worms its way into the back of your brain and sits there comfortingly.

I've been to one of Ásgeir's concerts, in a small venue late at night, and you just want to close your eyes and soak it in and not think so hard.

In other words, it's this quiet moment...

what's next?

Falling in love and learning to trust go hand-in-hand. This song touched on it, but the next song is fully about trust.