#ary talks

but yeah, imagine uno reverse him when it comes to teasing like you tease him back and he can't retort or counter it

THIS. With my Vice Captain!Reader who is an absolute menace to society (a.k.a Soshiro Hoshina) SUGGESTIVE!! (but nothing really happened lolz)

LIKE IMAGINE!! The 5th Division and 3rd Division are doing another joint operation, right? And of course, being the little shit of the 5th Division, you're bored out of your mind. Everyone's going on and on about Kaiju—Kaiju No. 10 acting too human, blah blah blah (which is weird because you’re getting a vibe™ from that clumsy 30-something guy sitting next to the short silver-haired dude... but hey, wouldn't it be hilarious if he was Kaiju No. 10? Just saying.)

And here's the thing—you + boredom + Soshiro Hoshina in the same vicinity = immediate danger. Like, everyone already knows the two of you have some strange, chaotic chemistry that not even either of you can explain. It’s flirty, it’s annoying, it’s borderline criminal, and the Defense Force has collectively agreed: you should not be allowed in the same room.

But alas. Here we are.

You're sitting across from him. The table between you is wide—but not wide enough. If you just moved your foot an inch forward, you'd be touching his.

A dangerous smirk starts forming on your face.

He looks so peaceful, sitting back with that relaxed slouch of his, nodding occasionally like he’s actually listening to whatever Captain Ashiro is droning on about. And gods, he looks good in that jacket—like unfairly good. The kind of good that makes you think, 'Maybe I’ll cause a problem on purpose.'

So you do.

You glide your foot forward, slow and deliberate, until the tip of your boot brushes against his.

It takes exactly 1.5 seconds for him to react.

His eyes flick over to you, a confused look on his face.

He mouths, “What are you doing?”

Instead of answering, you slide your foot up—slow, deliberate, like you’ve got all the time in the world. You feel the tense line of muscle along his leg, the fabric of his uniform tight under your shoe. You stop just below his knee.

His expression doesn’t change, not really. But his hand twitches slightly on the table. His posture straightens—barely noticeable, unless someone knew him well.

Unfortunately for him, you do.

He mouths again, this time slower: “What.are.you.doing”

But his leg doesn’t move away.

Neither does yours.

And Captain Ashiro is still talking.

Why not live up to the name you’ve earned for yourself—“Menace of the 5th.”

You slowly move your shoe up and down, gently trailing along the inside of his leg. Featherlight, playful, maddening.

He shifts in his seat again—subtle, controlled. But you don’t miss the way his jaw clenches, the muscle twitching as he tries to keep that ever-so-composed expression on his face.

You raise a brow at him. 

"Are you okay, Vice Captain Soshiro Hoshina?" you ask sweetly, voice laced with fake concern and just the right amount of menace.

All eyes turn toward him.

Soshiro straightens up, clearing his throat, very much not okay. His hand subtly grips the edge of the table like it’s the only thing grounding him to reality. You watch with barely hidden delight as he fights for composure.

“Yes,” he says, voice steady but a little too sharp. “I’m okay, Vice Captain.”

That’s enough entertainment for today.

You slowly lower your shoe, smug satisfaction curling on your lips as everyone awkwardly shifts their focus back to the screen in front.

You glance back at the very flustered, very ruffled Soshiro Hoshina.

He looks at you. He mutters under his breath, low enough for only you to hear:

“You’re dead later.”

Oh, Vice Captain Hoshina… Always threatening you with a good time.

i think it would've been way better if catwalker stayed for longer, and the reason why things ultimately wouldn't work out is because:

firstly, even if catwalker is just as kind, loyal, supportive—and frankly more focused—ladybug misses chat noir not in spite of but because of his antics and humor, and because he's her friend. ladybug being distracted because she’s crushing on him can work, but i don’t think it should be the main thing that throws the whole arrangement off balance. anyway typical moral about acceptance and friendship and treasuring your loved ones, and such.

secondly, adrien and chat noir are both parts of his sincere self. it's not a clearcut, black and white mask vs true self situation. when he's adrien agreste, he at least isn't wholly alone, he does have caring peers that aren't just megafans and sycophants, despite his BUM ASS FATHER colder homelife and busy, boring schedule. he's able to find some semblance of enjoyment in everyday life with his friends, especially nino, though he could definitely be a little less lonely, what with the polite distance he seems to put up. but it's when he's chat noir that he's able to let loose entirely, free from his confines—his status as an agreste, the heavy weight of his piece of shit father's expectations. he tends to exaggerate a bit, it's blatantly just him doing what he thinks is #kool, but that’s what makes his chat noir act akin to his id or something. as unrestrained and unfiltered as a person can get. the whole thing is, essentially, a form of stress relief. a way to escape being so prim and polite and perfect!

so, like. what do you think happens when he cuts off his stress relief. what happens when he does indeed have to act prim and polite and perfect all the time, just to appease the people he cares so deeply about, his father and ladybug. oh, with the added bonus of having a veeery very busy predetermined schedule that he genuinely can't afford to excuse himself out of, the general stresses of fighting akumas and sentimonsters, having to keep MULTIPLE identities secret, and keep in mind, he has no alya or any confidants other than plagg about the whole thing, or hell even any other hobbies that he actually enjoys that could substitute as his stress relief. haha!! so yeah no um there’s no way he’d keep this up in the long term.

We’ve all came to this lovely conclusion right? Okay great but think abt this…WALK WITH ME! It’s known the Viltrumites can hold their breath for an insane amount of time right? Imagine him going down on you and not having to breathe I mean he’s INNN ITTT!! Tongue, fingers and all and you’d have to TELL him to stop cause you can’t take it anymore. 🌚

Me: