omg almost forgot to ask.. 🖊 ramble about any one of ur ocs my friend
i was waiting for the perfect chance to answer this ask, when i got hit with a case of Thinking About The Character !!! and now i have !!!! so u get to hear me ramble about volkov's fucked up father/son(/daughter/pet/pest) relationship w nina
ok so like. goddd. ok. im listening to eat shit and die by harley poe and it sparked this sudden burst so u get to blame that song for this
these 2 are both pafl ocs: volkov is a scientist, and nina is a mutant. her mutation is that shes born dead but still lives, kinda !! like... if you dont take proper care of her, shes gonna decay and rot and die for real. she has little control of her body, little understanding of whats going on - though, the latter one isnt due to her mutation, its due to no one explaining anything to her!!! if volkov talked her through things, told her what things mean, etc, shed be far more aware of her surroundings than she is
volkov sooo badly wants to be the Right Man. he wants to be the husband that hes expected to be to marya, he wants to be the father hes expcted to be to nina !! he wants to fulfill the expectations that Society has set upon him. he so so badly wants to do things right. but he cant !!! both he and marya are gay, neither know it. he proposes to her after she gets pregnant, she accepts, but leaves him a few months after that bc she realises she doesnt want her kid to have him as its father. she dies in childbirth, though, and ninas a mutant !! so volkovs fucked !!!! he cant even be the right ex-husband !!!!
but he can still be a father !!! maybe not a good one, but he can take care of nina, he can take care of his awful, idiotic dissapointment of a son, and he'll be doing things right then !!! so, like. for 14 years he dedicates his entire life to taking care of nina at the facility. making sure that shes not terminated, that shes not put through any too-dangerous experiments, that no one but him can hurt her, basically.. and he thinks hes doing things right !!!! hes taking care of her !!! shed be dead without him !!! hes being a father. but she doesnt even know that hes her daddd he never tells her shit. she thinks hes just her caretaker
he tells her goodnight stories sometimes, tells her about his day, explains bits and pieces of the experiments, is gentle when he helps her get dressed !!! gets her plushies sometimes. rarely, but still, treats her like he'd treat her if she was his son - but she never will be !!! even if she was human, even if she could live like one, she wouldnt be his son !! her genders freakish and grotesque. not exactly a tgirl but close enough. so its like. aighhhh g..
like !! he would die to keep her alive for just a moment longer !!! hed break all his bones just for her to breathe some more etc etc ... and he does !!!! thats how he dies, trying to give her a good life ... but he doesnt love her, he doesnt care about his son, not even his daughter, but about what nina Means !! what she symbolises !!! he wants to be a father, and she lets him be one. he doesnt care about her happiness - as long as shes there, breathing, hes a father. so hes doing something right. if she dies, hes fucked!!! his ex gf is dead, his kid is dead, hes got a shitty job, no friends, no family, nothing!!!!! this is his last chance to take his place in society !! its his fault, for the most part, but its like aughhhh . hes so AWFULLL i need to wring him out like a wet dishrag
when nina gets set for termination, he escapes with her !!! and starts treating her like an actual good father would !!! he asks her what shed like to wear, listens to music with her, tries to get her opinion on what he feeds her !!!!! for the first time in her 14 years of life, volkov is being a good father. its so alien to her that she becomes convinced that its not volkov whos taking care of her !! someone has replaced him, something has posessed him, its Not Him. she tries to kill him, but bc of her mutation, fails !! her muscles are too weak n stuff ... but volkov sees that she wants to kill him, that she wants him dead, that these past 14 years have been for nothing, that hes nothing, hes never been a father, never will be, he fucked up !!!! and finishes the job for her . they then rot together for however long it takes for someone to find their corpses
ITS SOOO !!! HE FUCKED UPPP SO BADDD AND HE DOESNT EVEN LOVE HER !!! NO FATHER'S LOVE IN HIM !!!!!! he put her through 14 shitty years, treated her 'as they both deserved', because This Is What A Father Is Supposed To Do !!!!! aughghghggg !!!!!he doesnt knowww that you dont vivisect your kids ... he doesnt knowww ... aughhh . it all could have so easily been avoided. but it never could have been, because this is who he is !!! HE DOESNT CARE ABOUT HER !!!! he doesnt care that SHE wants him dead, or even that HE or IT wants him dead, he cares that his life as a father is over !!!! he fucked up, he didnt do the right job !!!! he cares that he cant lie to himself anymore !!!!! he let things stay the same for 14 years and then struggled to understand why everything was rusted, decaying !!!!!!! hes fuckeddd
and like, he DOES want to be a good father, he DOES want to be a good husband, a good person !!! but its like !!! its more about Appearing that way ??? as long as he does whats expected of him, hse fine , yknow ??? aughhh . voklovvvv speak to me volkov . im yapping but im joyous . hes too obsessed with what nina represents in his mind that he fails to see her as her own person, with her own thoughts and desires, until its too late !!! until she cant be convinced that hes capable of gentleness !!!!! her attempt at killing him is the first real choice she makes in her life, and its sooo fucking ... AUGHGHGHHGHHH!!!!!! I HATE THE FLOOR!!!!!!! aouwuwughhhh
