#artwork:.ralsky

when consulting the various quality of life indices/barometers, you discover that the steepest decline has been in the birdsong index while internet cat video viewing has increased dramatically.

thoughts of changing your name and moving to a new state cross your mind periodically.

routine sexual activity is down an alarming 85% and is therefore no longer routine. your libido is nonexistent. your sexual habits are most similar to those of a rock. you search in vain for alternatives. ballroom dancing is not an alternative to sex.

at a dinner party last week you said that although you did enjoy the movie anchorman, you really wished people would stop quoting it as if it were such a seminal part of western culture. it's only a movie people! this led to a glass of cheap pinot grigio being thrown in your face and much hand-wringing later.

an artist friend of yours became withdrawn and lamented that nobody appreciated his art. you were too afraid to tell him that his paintings were mediocre at best. you don't see him anymore. a year later someone tells you he died of cancer.

meanwhile, the temperature will be in the low 60's tomorrow, partly cloudy and w/low humidity. this is most likely not true.