PHYSICALLY OKAY. EMOTIONALLY DEAD.
I have known a girl for 15 years now. She is fun to be with, loves to write inspiring quotes on her little notebook, bubbly, carefree, they say that she's "snob" but they just don't know that she is just shy to socialize specially those who are not close to her or have never been with her, she loves music because it is where she can express what she is feeling, she has a "maldita" aura but deep inside she is not like what others are expecting of her, her friends think that she doesn't have problems and difficulties because she is not that kind of a person to focus on negative things, she won't break your trust because she has experienced being backstabbed and left behind, she has a sense of humour, laughs at little things, appreciates efforts, big or small as long as it came from your heart, she loves to hoard pictures, letters, or even little things that you'll give to her, she will be honest with you, she hates fake friends and favoritism, she loves to eat! Have you ever known this girl before? If you do, then You're just familiar with her outer layer, but if you'll dig deeper this girl exprienced storms and overcomed it. Experienced loneliness and passed through it. Experienced feeling worthless and ugly, and sadly, she still does. This made you think differently right? Because, she is hiding it within herself. She will never let you know unless she knows that she can trust you, and she feels comfortable sharing her stormy days with you. She rarely express sadness, difficulties. She never shows that she is broken up inside, and she doesn't and will never let others pity her. It is sad to think that she have it all, but the sadness and the negative thoughts are killing her mind. She is a curvy girl, she is so conscious about her body, she always compliment her friend's body for being blessed of having an "ideal and perfect body" that girls dream of, "Girls" A.K.A Herself. She tried dieting, she tried eating only once a day, practicing unhealthy way of losing weight, she tried and she always feel that she failed. About her studies? She is still studying now. She is still striving, doing her 101% on everything, she loves to do responsibilities and lead, she always remind herself of what her dad told her to always remember because it is the key to her success, she always over thinks, she always pressure herself to the point that she's full of her own sh*ts, she always put efforts on things but she just feel unappreciated. She doesn't allow her friends to hurt themselves but little did they know, she also feels what they feel and hurt herself. Stupid right? She can't help it because it is her only outlet to release pain and stress. You don't know what she had been through. You're entitled to your own opinion but you don't need to judge her. As for her family, they are always there for her, loves and supports her, they sometimes tend to pressure her in her studies but nevertheless they will still be her support system. She always gives advices that she wants to hear when she needs one. She is a gorgoues mess of chaos and you can see it in her eyes, she turned her cant's into cans, and dreams into plans. She'll fly high and free, it's her fate wait and see. ;) She always think to herself the quote she first wrote on her little notebook when she feels like giving up, "Take a deep breath, Pick yourself up, Dust yourself off, And start all over again." Because, she knows that even if someone tries to tear her down, she will always rise from the ground and shine because every little things gonna be alright. She is still working on herself, There are times that she just can't handle it anymore but a lot of times she can control herself and tries to be optimistic. GIVING UP will never be her choice. This is a girl who is physically okay, but emotionally dead but is still fighting. ♥
