something that doesn't get talked about enough when it comes to the transfem experience of womanhood is the fact that doctors can and absolutely will be misogynistic to you even if you're deep in the closet. Something about how medical professionals treat socially awkward very visibly depressed and uncomfortable "men" aligns with how they treat effeminate men/men they perceive as queer and, yes, in fact, women.
for example: when I went to get a consultation for a vasectomy, having already been on hormones for a few years at that point and having told that to the doctor (because I was concerned if some of the physical changes to my body would affect the procedure and recovery) I was still asked "are you sure you want this? Are you sure you might not want children of your own in the future" to which I had to explain to this grown man that I didn't bank sperm and that I had been on hormones long enough that my chances of having children were already near zero and that still wasn't a low enough chance for me. AND HE STILL ASKED ME IF I WAS SURE.
Another example: pre hrt (but while socially out to family) I was shaving my chest hair to alleviate dysphoria and cut my nipple, resulting in an abscess forming in that nipple. It was one of the most painful things I had ever experienced and went to a doctor to see if I could get it lanced, or at least get antibiotics. The doctor came in, and with the most CONDESCENDING TONE POSSIBLE proceeded to
1. Grab the nipple and pinch it, making me cry to which he said "oh c'mon it can't be that bad"
2. Ask me how I got the abscess and, again very condescendingly when I told him it was from shaving my chest, he said "well I guess you've learned a lesson??? Are you gonna be doing this again", to which I remained silent because I didn't feel safe outing myself to him at that point. (Oh and hint to any girls out there, the secret to preventing those is to wash your chest immediately after shaving it to prevent an infection, regardless if you think you cut yourself or not, I didn't think I cut myself.)
3. Didn't lance it, and didn't even provide me antibiotics. My mother had to lance it and I had to bite down on a giant bar of plastic, sobbing hysterically as she tried as gently as she could to drain the abscess (which she thankfully was able to!).
Looking back at these events (and plenty others- my orthodontist when they fucked up my retainer, doctors who saw multiple abnormalities on my body when I was a child and just shrugged them off despite going "well that's odd", etc) I can't help but feel a mixture of vitriol and frustration at the fact that one of the most affirming things about my lived experience as a woman has been the fact that I have been mistreated, thought of as stupid or overreacting, dismissed, or otherwise taken deeply unseriously by specifically male medical professionals time and time again.
