eunoia
Sometimes, depending on how intense our emotions are, may it be happiness, sadness or madness, we tend to do things we never imagined doing. I know how wrong I was judging your morality. With the way you cyber socialize and after I read your poignant letters and text messages, I realized that I should be thankful instead. Now I understand that there are only certain circumstances in your life that made you a desperate woman and there are reasons behind your insecurities that lead you to become a perfect bitch.
I truly appreciate that you made me see the importance of a simple "I love you" or "I miss you" text messages that I constantly get but rarely responded back; while you yearn for that feeling of excitement to hear a ring only to end up wondering if your phone is broken. I will never ever really understand how frustrating it could be when the person you used to call “Honey” would not pick up your call or if he did, will hung up on you, if not because of you. Unlike you, I was so lucky that I don't need to be one of those conventional wives like a customary and submissive partner. I may never feel the way you get disappointed of waking up early because of the promised early-breakfast-date just to end up waiting and starving because I'm not a pathetic like that. But I learned to appreciate waking up with breakfast ready, instead of me doing all the preparations like a daily morning routine. It's clear to me now why you fancy taken men because no single man dares to take you but as paramour; why you have that constant desire to take wife's place because no one has the courage to ask you to be his wife; why even if you bear his son without hesitation, he still chose to leave with the uncertainty of who fathered the child; why you willingly spend your own savings just to be with that someone you think is significant to you and you to him because no one is willing to spent time with you without something in return.
Yet, I admire you for raising your child alone though you continuously chase a prince, acting like you're a damsel in distress by means of getting drunk though you know how lame that weak move maybe. But of course, time is running fast and you're not getting any younger. In fact, you're way too older than me that's why you favor whatever or whoever comes in your way despite of unappealing looks or unacceptable status that guy may have. But then and again, I already grasp the idea of inconceivable things that we did due to our extreme emotions. I believe that it was never your intention to be in an unutterable state because no woman would ever want to be just someone's hobby. But because you get overwhelmed and thrilled that you can no longer contain your slutty behavior, you have trapped yourself with the I-don't-care-as-long-as-I'm-happy idea, believing that we have a forgiving God, anyway.
I understand it all now. You made me feel upset for your happiness, so I destroyed you for taking away that happiness from me, all because of that "circumstances". With the distance between us, we may not get the indulgence we both aspire to get. Nevertheless, you became my constant reminder that from ugliness can come beauty and from weakness, an incredible strength.
