The last few days have been rather interesting to say the least. I'm now only writing this because I feel I have managed to fully grasp the gravity of what has transpired. 

We're leaving again.

Rathurion took me back to his ship a few days ago in order to explain the details of this excursion we would be going on. I was tense, being alone with that man makes me anxious. I've seen that predatory look he's given me. He's certain I'll join his ship and crew someday. He won't give up. I suppose I should applaud him for his determination but it doesn't make his constant poking and prodding about it any less annoying. I believe that man takes some sick pleasure in attempting to get a rise out of me, though he never does. 

So there we were in his cabin talking over drinks. He insisted I have one, and that I didn't smoke in his cabin. The latter proved difficult as my habit often got the better of me in tense situations. However I refrained, no matter how difficult it was. We argued over my hatred for him, he couldn't understand as much as I tried to explain it to him. I doubt he'll ever fully grasp what he did to me but he is dead set on mending the fences. I am skeptical of his motives. He is a pirate after all. Rathurion has already admitted to me his desire to have me in his bed, not to mention pull Silvermoon's military secrets from my head. He'll get neither. 

I attempted to leave then and he stopped me. Against that door I felt trapped as my body shifted to face him. That tone he carried was commanding and one that any Captain should have had. That look in his eyes said it all but I gave him no inches. That didn't stop him however from taking a mile. With a quick lean, he kissed me. It was fast and sharp and to drive home a point, one at which I was shocked over. Though that embrace did nothing for me. I insulted him again, which really he should have expected but took such words as another invitation. Forcing another one of those alcohol laced kisses upon me, his hands began to move to my hips. Holding my frame to his own, the passion behind the melding of our lips was deep. 

I took pause then, but as my senses came back to me I pushed him away. Insults were thrown once more before he allowed me to leave. We have not spoken about that moment since. I have not even told Shyril. I do not pretend to know what she was would think. 

The very next day, Rathurion found me once more in the Row. We inked the contract and everything was set in stone. We would be leaving on Saturday for an escort mission. I can understand now why he wanted me. The jungles of Stranglethorn Vale can be quite dangerous and an experienced tracker would keep everyone out of trouble. Besides, how could I have said no to eight thousand gold? Thankfully Shyril agreed to it as well. Being alone on that ship with that pirate would have made my skin crawl. Rathurion confuses me to no end, and I often find myself dwelling on his meanings of things. I told him this once, and he insisted he would rather have me thinking about him in some capacity than none at all. Yet, according to him he could care less about me. Men..

Regardless, the next few days I believe will be spent trying to gather supplies or..having fun as my companion likes to say. Her idea of it and mine perhaps differ somewhat but we always come to a mutual term. Smoking, booze, and sitting on that step. I know that will not keep my red headed friend's attention long, so more than likely she'll find some men to bring over. Like the other night with Arinzel. 

Shyril took it upon herself to find me company. She insists on this 'Getting laid' venture for me. I could care less. Though I had thought she was going to stick around, but as soon as she pulled the poor man into our midsts she was gone. I knew what she had done, that wicked woman. I felt indifferent about the whole situation but I could sense this well built man felt awkward. He came to sit with me eventually and we spoke for a few hours. 

I learned his name was Arinzel. He was gentleman at least, a far cry from the usual lot in the Row. He was kind, and considerate. He did flirt but it wasn't like Rathurion's more crass and forward nature. I suppose I had forgotten what it was like to have someone genuinely refer to me as beautiful instead of 'hot' or having 'nice breasts'. 

We parted ways and I made sure to punish Shyril accordingly by dumping her booze out all over her and where ever else I saw fit. I said nothing as she woke up with a start. I left and went to bed. 

The next was much like it was the day before. Rathurion did what he did and made his daily appearance to annoy, and harass me until Shyril arrived. Our conversations were short and to the point. Before that pirate left however he made it certain to grope my rear and call me his little jail bird. I hardly think I belong to anyone, let alone him. 

Soon after Shyril left me to my devices and that step. I find more and more now that I am left here to think. I smoked perhaps more than I should have and before I was about to head home, Arinzel arrived. I honestly had not thought I would see him again though he insisted on such the previous evening. I stayed to converse a bit. I may not be the best at holding a conversation but I am certainly not rude. 

He mentioned the smoking, it was the third time someone had that day but..he didn't berate me about it. According to him if it made me happy and relaxed than that was all that mattered. A different perspective I suppose, but then he offered to teach me a meditation technique. It was a simple breathing exercise those monks tend to do. He didn't touch me either. He merely watched as I attempted to do what he instructed me too. In truth, I felt lighter and I almost fell asleep during it. He continued to be a gentleman through it all which made me wonder if he was a rarity among men. So I asked him pointedly..

Why did you come to the Row tonight?

He attempted to jest about a beautiful woman and a line up of men and his burning desire to see this so called siren. Of course he was referring to me but I gave him no reaction. He then, was forthright about it. He wished to speak to me again. Why anyone would do such a thing is beyond me, all I did was smoke and listen. 

I thanked him for his kind words. I have a feeling Shyril has made me a friend for life. I couldn't stay any longer, Arinzel's words left me uneasy now. Perhaps he was just trying to raise my spirits, but I could not shake the feeling he may have desired something more or was leaning towards chasing after something I simply didn't want. 

I am not good with the idea of romance. My line of work does not provide a nurturing environment for such. Arinzel is soft, I do not wish to break him. I do not mind his company however, it is refreshing and different. I suppose time will tell of his intentions. Until then, I'll sit on this step and take the days one at a time...