#ariesroast

(This is purely based on people I know and by no means applies to everyone. This is not meant to offend any of the signs)

Aries: 

- Threw a lunchbox at me during math class and got away with it 

- Set something on fire with their friends and threw it off the 19th floor of a building (it landed right next to a bunch of cops btw) 

- Expressed themselves mostly by yelling? 

- Gotten way too drunk at their ex’s house party and ended up passing out at her house 

- Couldn’t go a day without swearing 

- Refused to help her family carry the luggage at the airport because she was scared her nails would chip 

Taurus:

- Showed up late or didn’t show up to a lot of their exams

- Started writing a book about a girl they ended up cheating on

- Stayed in love with a girl for about two years (and counting) after they broke up

- Ditched school to point where the teachers didn’t know if they are still a student of the same school

- Drove their best friend’s car when drunk and hit someone else’s car

Gemini:

- Did their make up during quarantine because they wanted to make a tiktok but ended up removing it because they realized they had homework due in an hour

-  Made up their own words and still uses them regularly

- “I like small bananas not big bananas” (She was referring to actual bananas, she’s kinda obsessed with them?)

- Gotten drunk with one breezer

- Gotten mad at someone for killing her in a game of kiss, kill or marry (the other options were her best friends) and when asked if she would rather have one of her best friends die she replied, I quote, “F**k those bitches, I wanna live!”

- Kissed his best friend’s ex (they had JUST broken up) apparently to ‘prove that he deserves better’

Pisces:

- Went on a break from their relationship because their girlfriend was ‘mean’ to them 

- Went to a club with their friends and sat in a corner with their kindle 

- Hurt their back once and has been carrying their stuff around school in a suitcase ever since

- Been extremely proud of themselves for walking across the street to a convenience store to buy a pen... and then gotten mad at people who didn’t react with sufficient enthusiasm 

- Pretended not to know what sex is 

- Made up fake stories in front of other people to make their life seem more interesting 

- Pretended to get hypnotized 

- Shaved off their eyebrow because someone told them to

- Played the victim more times than I can count 

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The rest of the sign will be posted on: 

- @astrology101 (Cancer, Capricorn, Sagittarius and Virgo)